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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Taking toddlers to 20 week scan

16 replies

lovemybabyboy · 26/05/2011 22:48

Hi all,
Im 18+5 weeks pregnant with DC2, my 20 week scan is in 11 days time and I was just wondering if I would be allowed to bring 2 and half yr old DS to scan?
We brought him to 12 week scan and he was very good, I am aware of the fact we could be told bad news etc as i had a mmc last august and DS was with us at that scan too.
I know that the 20 week scan is a lot longer than the 12 week one, but we live in UK and all my family live in Ireland and DH's family in Gambia, also DH is a stay at home dad so we do not have any child care/babysitters.
DH has a cousin living close by who we could ask but the problem is the scan is at 08.30am!!! so would have to drop DS at her house at 8am!!! dont feel very comfortable asking her to have him that early!

So just wondering really if anyone else brought toddlers to 20 week scans and was it ok/allowed?

TIA :)

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apple99 · 26/05/2011 22:52

I asked about bringing my 4 year old along and was told it was fine. I have seen a lot of parents with toddlers going into the scan room so can't imagine a problem.

In the end we didn't take dd as my scan fell on a day and time when she was at pre-school but wouldn't of hesitated otherwise.

Poledra · 26/05/2011 22:53

Check with your hospital - the one I attended did not allow children into the 20-wk scan as they did not want them disturbing either the mother or the sonographer. They did let toddlers in for a quick peek at the baby at the end though.

I'd really think about asking your DH's cousin. If I were the cousin, I wouldn't mind the early drop-off at all - after all, it's not your fault the scan's so early! And you can get her something nice to say thanks.

Hope it all goes well.

cece · 26/05/2011 22:57

8 am isn't early!

I wuld ask your cousin... Having had bad news at a late scan beleive me you really would not want them there for that.

MrsVidic · 27/05/2011 07:36

We were allowed to take dd then 20 months. She was fine, we took her an orange which kept her entertained. We even missed our first time slot as as our names were called she decided she needed a poo! They were brill and just swapped us with the next couple who were waiting

icravecheese · 27/05/2011 07:44

We've got to take our 4yr old and 2yr old next week as we've stupidly booked a 20wk scan time that isnt when our 2 are at nursery. I was thinking of having my husband sit outside with them for the first 5 mins so that I could go in alone & the sonographer could really concentrate on checking baby was ok, then they can come in after (all going well of course) for a quick peek at baby on screen.

I think our hospital does let siblings in to scans - when I went for my 12 week scan this time there was a lady who went in after me with twins in a buggy - however i'd like to make sure the sonographer has total quiet to check all is ok with baby, then the rabble can enter!

mousymouse · 27/05/2011 07:49

we took our at the time two year old. he was fine. he was interested in all the cables and mashinery and had a nice chat with the technician about the baby.

Gastonladybird · 27/05/2011 07:57

What would you do if the scan did highlight problems. Without wishing to alarm you (and knowing how bloody hard it is to arrange appt so kids are cared for), this is still a test that may highlight
Issues. Having had too many bad scans (including one at 20 weeks) I wouldn't take dd ever. I am not sure how I could cope with letting her see mum upset and its not fair on her to see that. The idea another poster has of oh staying outside initially while check you seems best compromise if have to take dc.

willowcrow · 27/05/2011 09:04

Hello!
We Recently took our 2.5yr old to our 34 week growth/kidney function test and she was facinated by the pictures of her baby brother. (A bit nervous when the lights first went off but sat with daddy quietly) The consultant was lovely and showed her where all her brother's arms/legs/nose etc were, showed her the colours that meant the placenta was still working well and heart beating and turned the volume up so we could see and hear baby's heart beat!

I took my 16 yr old to the 30 week growth scan (as he asked to come) and I was more nervous about that than taking a toddler.

I think it is a very personal choice dependant on your and your childs personalities - for us, it was a brilliant bonding experience. The only downside is she now keeps asking if we can go and buy things for her brother!

WizzyBizzy · 27/05/2011 09:35

I am going to have to take 18mo DS to 20 week scan soon because I have to make the appointment on a day when I'm not at work and therefore DS isn't at nursery. We have no family nearby who he can be with. At the moment I'm just hoping DH can come to the scan as well and can at least leave the room with DS if he is being noisy or fractious (definitely a possibility!!). It isn't ideal but I know from when DS also came to our 12 week scan that the hospital staff are very used to it (definitely check their policy) and didn't seem to mind. I'm painfully aware that there might be issues found but this is something we'll have to deal with if it does happen - a personal choice but one we'll have to live with. I will probably try and wear him out earlier in the day and go for a long walk before the scan so hopefully he will nod off in the pram during it...!!

MamaLaMoo · 27/05/2011 10:18

I took DD aged 2.5 to 20 week scan, she sat on DH knee and was good as gold. Sonographer just asked if she would be alright in dark. She loved seeing her sister on the screen and still talks about seeing her on the hospital magic TV.

I think the important things are a) child will not get freaked out by dark room etc b) child will not run amok and distract the sonographer who has lots of measurements to take. We have no family nearby to take her either, hospitals are on the whole reasonable about this, they know pregnant women often have small kids and they will not refuse to scan you just because a toddler is there!

DaisySteiner · 27/05/2011 10:25

We had this issue as children were simply not allowed in the scan room. So dh sat in the waiting room with them and they came in at the end to see the baby. With another child I took a friend instead.

DaisySteiner · 27/05/2011 10:26

Wizzybizzy, why do you need to make an appointment for when you're not at work? You are legally entitled to the time off.

Bluetinkerbell · 27/05/2011 10:30

Our hospital has a strict policy that at the 20-week scan only one person is allowed to go in with you and you're not allowed to swap half way through.
They also don't allow children to come in with you. Guess they had some bad experiences.
DD, 2,5 came with us for our dating scan and was very well behaved, but we decided not to take her with us for the 12-week scan. Luckily we didn't as they had changed the policy from advisable not to take children in to not allowed to take children in...

swampster · 27/05/2011 10:33

I took my two-year-old DS2 to a Bad News 20 week scan. As it became apparent that things weren't right they offered to take him out of the room. He wanted to stay and I was happy to have him there. Having him close by meant the world to me as my world came crashing in around me.

Footnote: Despite what happened afterwards which included being asked to "consider your options" at 28 weeks, DS3 is absolutely fine and the loveliest child imaginable.

onepieceofcremeegg · 27/05/2011 10:33

No dcs allowed in at our local hospital either. Mix of reasons given, in case there is bad news etc. Also I understand that some people were unreasonable, i.e. turning up with several small children, then not being able to control them meaning the sonographer could not concentrate.

expatnow · 27/05/2011 11:06

I had to take my DD (2.5) to my two scans with this pregnancy as I had no other childcare or help. I thought I couldn't take her and so tried to arrange someone to meet me to help, but it didn't work out. She was great both times and didn't interfere at all with the work the sonographers had to do. I took books and snacks to occupy her, but she just watched everything that was going on and chatted. I agree with swampster- when I did have a bad news scan previously it somehow put it into perspective a bit to have her there. I was so worried that they wouldn't allow her to be there, but the hospital was great about it and didn't question it at all.

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