Would love #3 but do I have too many risk factors? Come and see if you can beat my list!

[quickchat]

1st PG Aged 30-
1)Had Placenta Previa,
2) bleeds,
3) reduced blood flow to uterus,
4) Group B strep,
5)High AFP,
6) High blood Pressure,
7)waters just broke at 36+6 and immedietly started to hemorage blood
8)Emergency C section
9)DS had reflux for a year but is perfectly healthy
10)I suffered major anxiety for 1 year.

2nd PG Aged 33 - On the most part, perfectly healthy
1)Group B strep.
2) Mild SDP, hip pain
3)Water just broke at 36+3, again for no apparent reason as I didn't go into labour.
4) 3 day labour then lots of tearing/stitches after
5) never been easy to poo since, possibly mild bowel issues after birth but too to go and see about it!
6) DD had reflux for 1 year but perfectly healthy
7) I had MAJOR anxiety for over a year

and now im broody !

Am I mad or are none of these enough to throw in the towel just yet?
I would be roughly 36 by the time another came along.

I would get your bowel sorted out first, but as long as you feel you can deal with the other things then I would go for it.

Might not be the best advice coming from a broody mother of a 2.5 year old and a 10 month old...... Oh, I'd love another!

I have 3 and could beat your list for why we didn't have a fourth but this is about you and my advice would be to see someone to talk over your options.

Oh I forgot - after DD I ended up with an under active thyroid and im on medication for life for that - forgetfulness is one of the symptoms!!

TheOriginalFab - were you risk free with number 3 though?

Not at all, totally pushed our luck but we didn't realise it.

Maybe not beating your list, but here are our experiences:

DD1: Pre-eclampsia, nearly delivered early but spent last few weeks in hospital, breech, ELCS, low birth-weight for no discernible reason.

DD2: Heart condition discovered on me, told we might have to abort (2nd trimester) and I would have to undergo emergency heart surgery. Followed by "oops, no, it's all ok after all, carry on". Duplex kidney picked up at 20 week scan, requiring antibiotics and monitoring until she was operated on at 2.5, breech, ELCS, rushed to NICU on day 3 because of breathing difficulties. Stayed in for 10 days but no reason found.

Now pregnant with DD3 (32 weeks). So far so good, as far as we know.

As original says, this is really about you and what's right for your family. Please, please do get the bowel thing looked in to. I've heard so many stories of people suffering because of an embarrassing condition that could have been easily sorted out. I know you know this, but it's your body and no doctor is going to go home in shock that night because you went in to their office and talked about your bottom.

Have you explored the causes of the anxiety? Would it be possible to ask to see a counsellor through your GP with whom you could talk all of this through?

OP, I can understand why you're asking and really do sympathise, but I honestly don't think competitions or comparisons help. Potentially I could beat you and almost anyone else here very easily on the levels of risk, but I don't think it would benefit anyone here for me to do so and it certainly wouldn't provide me with any satisfaction. Having children isn't only about a careful and considered evaluation of the risks involved. It's about whether you have the love to give a child and whether you anticipate being able to sope with the physical and emotional challenges of the pregnancy...

could prob give you a run 4 your money with ds4

1.shock pg at 36 yrs old after 10 yr gap

1. constant heavy bleeding, clots and cramps frm 4 wks til 11. pg was put down 2 a miscarriage by doc and hospital. egg had attatched 2 a blood vessel in my uterus
2. fibroid
3. had already had 3 sections and was told never 2 get pg again
4. ante natal depression due 2 all of the worry
5. severe spd 2 the point of being on crutches
6. 36 wk delivery due 2 high risk of scar rupture and haemmorhage (a litre more blood loss is expected during a 4th section)
7. baby born with low blood sugars, low temp and he was unable 2 poo 4 first couple of days...luckilly enuf these probs subsided after first few days
8. baby had constant chest infections frm 3 months 2 10 mnths old and coughed day and nite

10. post partum psychosis!!! weekly councilling, anti depressents and anti psychotic medication due 2 the pg and the shock of actually having a baby after all the negativity and problems. still nt quite sorted 13 mnths after the birth but gettin there.

i was sterilised during the section due 2 the massive health risks of another pg 2 both myself and a baby. im glad i did this because in reality if i could have another, despite everything i probably would!!!! mad eh. good luck if u decide 2 go ahead. jen. xxx

I can beat your list hands down with just this pregnancy alone!! And this is my third! We never wanted a third but has took us by surprise and with all our problems, were over the moon about it and very exited!! My pregnancy wasn't a wise one anyway as I was undergoing tests before and have now had to stop!
Also, with this one, just to add to the huge list of problems, I also have grade 4 placenta previa, and then said, once you have it once you tend to not have it again as the placenta wouldn't attach near the c section scars of the last one! I did laugh my socks off when they told me and indicated that poor DH does not have a choice, it's the snip for him!!! If I went through this pregnacy again, I would die! Litterally!!
So I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's never always the right time, or your in perfect health! And somethings happen for a reason and are not planned! (hence I have two girls and unexpected am expecting a boy!) if you feel happy that your body would cope (the body is amazing, and can cope with a lot more than you think it can, trust me!) then you'll always wonder and possible regret! If it's planned, you have time to get yourself (mentally) into the best place you can! But it's yours and DH's decision and no one elses! X x

Thanks everyone.

Yes I totally worded this wrong trying to make light of what is not always straight forward.

Im well aware from being on MN that my history is a walk in the park to what some woman have to endure.

I know what my probelm is. I really want another baby - one more kick at the ball before I ebay the teeny baby clothes!!

Im just terrified that my selfish quest for another baby when I already have 2 will leave them without a mummy (oh I am a worrier) or put the family through a hell of alot of stress.

Tough isn't it. Your never done until your done as they say!

I get the feeling as I feel like I should have had more children but part of that is because I have lost two. It was the thought that I could potentially leave my children without a mother for the sake of having a child that wasn't conceived yet that made us stop. DS2 and I nearly died when giving birth to him. We were incredibly lucky we didn't, that was an unknown risk, another baby wasn't.

I hope you can make peace with yourself whatever you decide.

Oh no theorginal so sorry to hear that.

I thought maybe I was being OTT but hearing what happened to you with your DS makes me think it really not worth the risk.

coppernoodle - i too have grade 4 pp, when r u due?

i possibly could beat that, this is section no 6, told not to have any more but felt that i couldnt imagine life without no 6. now got pp for 2nd time & possible accreta (will find out today) had 2 blood trans & pph hem. Absolutely bricking it now, blaming myself for all the hassle i am bringing on my kids. But surely a new baby is worth it ???