trying very hard not to get mad at him but I could scream...

9 replies

excitedLJ · 12/05/2011 20:54

I apologise in advance for what will be a rant - I need to do it virtually so I don't do it at him.

We are 13 + 4 and my husband will not tell his work about it as he will get 'bantered'. This is becoming annoying as he is in the air force and we live on base so I can essentially not tell anyone around us, like other wives etc, coz he hasn't told the guys yet.

I just feel like if he is old enough and mature enough to get married and start a family then he should be bloody well able to deal with 'banter' or to tell them that he is pleased and we did it on purpose, together. We are 25 and 26 for goodness sake.

I just feel like I'm excited (admittedly not all the time) and could no way keep it to myself and I feel like he is acting like its something to be ashamed of.

OP posts:

candr · 12/05/2011 20:59

It is really tough when you feel you can not share your excitment with others I can sympathise as my boss made me keep it secret for ages. Tell him to man up, how bad can banter be I am sure his peers will be chuffed for you both and he will look strange for hiding it when you start showing. Good luck and congrats x

FoxyRevenger · 12/05/2011 21:01

That's a bit weird.

If it were me, I would tell him that I will be telling people starting tomorrow, and that's that.

SherbetDibDab · 12/05/2011 21:02

Why do you have to wait to tell the girls until after he's told the guys? I don't understand.

reikizen · 12/05/2011 21:02

men take AGES to get their heads round pregnancy and becoming a dad. I don't think he really is ashamed, he is probably just not as into 'sharing' as most women (myself included!) are. Let him know you are going to start telling people so he can prepare himself. Good luck.

Original poster

excitedLJ · 12/05/2011 21:03

Thanks candr - I particularly like the 'man up' bit - i will be putting that into a polite chat with him later! x

OP posts:

violetwellies · 12/05/2011 21:06

My dp did not want anyone to know until after the 20 week scan, dificult but fair. We more or less did this (had to tell work because of nature of my job) but the deal was after 20 wks I would tell who ever I liked. Himself works indirectly for the military and it was up to him when he told work .

Original poster

excitedLJ · 12/05/2011 21:07

Sherbet- i'm not to tell the girls incase they tell the guys! its what comes from living on base and everyone knowing everyone else.

foxy this is what i am erring towards!!

thanks for replies, i already feel better x

OP posts:

SherbetDibDab · 12/05/2011 21:24

No that's what I mean, why does the boys social network get priority over yours. Reverse what you said - If he did get round to telling the boys, they might tell the girls!

Really, I don't see why he is still entitled to your discretion. You need the support of your mates.

jenga079 · 12/05/2011 21:41

Surely getting 'bantered' is part of being in the military?! And isn't the friendly banter and chatter one of the many good things about expecting a child? I agree with whoever said to tell DP to man up (in my experience this is the exact phrase you need to use when military DPs are being daft!!) You need your support network as much as he needs his. In fact, sod 'support network', you just need to share your Really Exciting News with your friends!!!

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