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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Is anyone else getting freaked out by all the celebs losing their babies?!

58 replies

footyfan · 10/05/2011 04:23

I'm 19 weeks pregnant with my first. I've had two mc in the past (both before 12 weeks). I had thought once I got into my second trimester I was in the clear, but all the coverage of stillbirths is starting to make me wonder if I'm being naive. Does anyone know what your risks of losing a baby after 12 weeks are?

I know I'm being ridiculous - but you can't help thinking about it when it's in the press every other week!

OP posts:
nancydrewfoundaclue · 10/05/2011 05:14

Footy try not to worry.

The chances of losing a baby do drop significantly after the first trimester, although sadly 1 in 100 babies are still lost after 20 weeks.

Whilst it is difficult to read about such losses in the media I think it important that the issue of late miscarriage and stillbirth is discussed sensitively. One of the hardest things about losing a baby is the overwhelming sense of isolation that you experience. The death of a baby really is the last taboo and it is horrific experience for anyone to endure. I am grateful that the issue is finally being discussed openly.

BornAgainBitch · 10/05/2011 05:21

Yes, I am too. I don't know if it is more marked for me because we have spent $50,000 on IVF and we only get this chance.

However, I do think it's important to glean as much information as possible on losses that occur around us, as we might learn something. For instance, I have learnt that you should ensure that the baby kicks a certain number of times a day and if not, then to go to A&E. I have also learnt that many, many stillbirths happen when the baby goes overdue and the placenta gets too old to work efficiently. So, if I was overdue, I would demand to be induced. I have also learnt that most babies who are lost around the fifth month are as a result of incompetent cervix. Therefore, I would like my cervix looked at, if possible. If I am carrying twins, I will demand a stitch to stop it happening to me.

Original poster
footyfan · 10/05/2011 05:43

Thanks for the responses - some great advice already. I have never heard of an incompetent cervix, but do know that they checked mine at the last scan. Will make sure they do it again at the 20-week one!
Only feeling flutterings at the moment, but will def. 'count the kicks' when I can.

OP posts:
BornAgainBitch · 10/05/2011 05:50

Also, things to watch out for are symptoms of diabetes and pre-eclampsia. Both risk factors for stillbirth. And any bleeding can indicate placental abruption, so requires a trip to A&E immediately.

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange · 10/05/2011 06:25

Know what you mean footyfan, I was in the car in the way home last night and started crying when the news came on. It's horrible having to face the reality of later miscarriage/stillbirths.

CheerfulYank · 10/05/2011 06:37

Which celeb? Confused

Try not to worry, darling. It's so hard, I know, but odds are good that everything's going to be just fine. :)

BornAgainBitch · 10/05/2011 06:41

Kelly Brook.

captainbarnacle · 10/05/2011 07:53

Yes - it';s a reminder to me of the risks. But - and I know this sounds macarbre - it is kind of reassuring because if it is statistically possible to happen I would rather hear that it's happened to someone else as then it's less likely to happen to me.

I know that is utterly selfish OK. My heart does go out to all the stories I hear - not just the celebrities. I would never ever ever wish it on anyone :(

xstitch · 10/05/2011 08:01

I am terrified. I kept telling myself I would relax and enjoy this pregnancy. I am currently panicking that they will discover a MMC at the first scan. I doubt I will be able to relax after this after reading about all these. Seems to be so many recently :(.

Whatevertheweather · 10/05/2011 08:06

Feel the same footyfan - I'm 19 weeks and starting to feel as paranoid as I did in the first 12 wks. It just so sad - I know it's rare but 3 celebs in as many months losing around the 5/6 month mark is just shocking.

I keep noticing amanda holdens bump when she was filmi g the auditions for bgt Sad

goodegg · 10/05/2011 08:17

I'm so worried Sad

I woke up today not feeling sick at all after weeks of feeling horrific. Am now terrified I'm going to mc.

Odds are on our side though ladies x

lolajane2009 · 10/05/2011 08:23

I always feel paranoid, even when he is kicking, but with Kelly Brook due the same month as me it has got worse.

nannyl · 10/05/2011 08:26

Its horrible isnt it... Im 22 weeks now

BUT i have always wanted to get alot further on as my aunt (dads sister who is closer in age to me than my dad) has lost 3 babies further along than i am now.....
1 born at 25 weeks ish and lived for 2 weeks, then died
and 2 at about 23 / 24 weeks who were still born Sad
(she now has a healthy 10 year old born at about 34 weeks)

whilst 12 weeks was a great milestone i have always maintained that we arnt there yet, and at this moment in time my baby is still not viable, and anything can happen. (still have an entire room full of baby stuff though!)

xstitch · 10/05/2011 08:38

When I was pregnant with dd I wouldn't let any baby stuff in the house it all had to be kept elsewhere and collected while I was in hospital post partum.

Original poster
footyfan · 10/05/2011 08:43

Thanks again for the responses. Although I was really hoping everyone was going to tell me to stop being so stupid - and that the risks are 1 in 10,000 once you are past 12 weeks - think I could stop worrying then!! :)

Although even with the odds of 1 in 100 that nancydrew gives, that means the odds are very small that anything bad will happen! [thinking positive thoughts]

nannyl - I really feel for your Aunt, it must be tough. I haven't been brave enough to buy a single thing yet - don't want to tempt fate! Will wait until after 20-week scan!

I think part of the reason I am concerned is that before these cases in the press, I had only ever heard of one person losing her baby late on - so had assumed it was very, very rare. As nancydrew said, maybe it's a good thing that we are all talking about it, as it helps to raise awareness.

Hope I haven't added to people's stress with this thread...

OP posts:
chandellina · 10/05/2011 08:43

don't worry, it's all very rare stuff.

"Pregnancy loss between 14 and 24 weeks (late miscarriage) is very uncommon, estimated to be about 1 - 2% of all pregnancies."

"The World Health Organisation defines stillbirth as death after 28 weeks of pregnancy ? by which time most babies would survive outside the womb. In 2009, the UK rate was 3.5 stillbirths per 1,000 births, which is among the most poorly performing rich nations." (BUT ONLY .35 per 100.)

Original poster
footyfan · 10/05/2011 08:47

Thanks a lot for the stats chandellina - that does put my mind at rest - although I now have a new target of 28 weeks to aim for!! :)

OP posts:
Mum2be79 · 10/05/2011 08:50

Worried too.

I'm only 5 weeks and 4 days but a doctor informed me that I had a slight risk of an ectopic when the pregnancy was confirmed on Friday. I have dwelled on it all weekend and went back to the doctors yesterday. He reassured me, examined me and gave me advice about what to look for. Luckily I have none of the symptoms.

My friend told me about Kelly Brook and straight away I said it was rather strange how so many celebs have lost babies in their 2nd and 3rd trimester - Lily Allen, Amanda Holden, Kym Marsh (2 years ago) and now Kelly! Whereas I accept that 1 in 100 may not make it, it's just odd that there has been a lot of celebs suffering.

It used to be that 12 weeks was the hurdle to get over. Now it seems for some mums to be it is 9 months of hell and worry!

At the moment my symptoms are period like cramps, occasional nausea and sore boobs. I researched today that cramps could be the placenta developing.

Renaissance227 · 10/05/2011 08:50

I'm really worried now. Am 16 weeks and up until a couple of days ago I felt fluttering every day. Now I feel nothing except an aching bump in the evenings.
I've heard that the hospital will not bother with you until you're at least 18/19 weeks. VERY WORRIED!!!!

FluffyDonkey · 10/05/2011 08:54

I'm 19 weeks and I understand your fear. I thought all would be good once past 12 weeks but then you realise you're not even half way there and lots could still go wrong.

I think the most important thing is to be aware of your body and any changes. Last week I had severe abdominal pain. Gyne said it's a UTI and gave me antibiotics. The lab results came back negative for a UTI which really scared me so I went to the hospital.

They were very nice to me and gave me a scan to show me my baby is fine (have to trust them on that one - I could barely see anything on the screen! Smile ) and told me that it's just my uterus growing and that can sometimes cause pain like that. Then they ordered me a week of mumsnetting bed rest.

I can feel some flutters but I can't wait to feel real kicks just to have a daily reminder that the baby is ok in there!

FluffyDonkey · 10/05/2011 08:55

Renaissance - if you're worried go to the hospital. They will not turn you away!

BornAgainBitch · 10/05/2011 08:55

Then they ordered me a week of mumsnetting bed rest.

Grin
xstitch · 10/05/2011 08:59

Yes renaissance go to the hospital. It is still very early to feel definite movement and could just be the babies position. No point worrying when you can find out. Hope everything is OK (although I am sure it is).

serendipity16 · 10/05/2011 09:04

Although its being talked about a little more due to the recent late miscarriages/stillbirth of celebs babies i still think there isn't enough information about.

Far too many people bury their heads in the sand or are ignorant to what a late miscarriage/stillbirth is or entails.

So many people family included didn't understand why it was utterly heartbreaking to have a stillborn baby.

Far too many people still in this day and age think of a stillbirth as a miscarriage or 'it wasn't meant to be' or 'mothers nature'........ which is ignorant.

I've had friends/family who have given birth to babies smaller than my daughter who was stillborn yet don't think of my baby as a baby.

I would like more information out there..... my baby was 6lbs 8ozs..... hardly compares to an early miscarriage which is what people think. I've had early miscarriages and an ectopic..... and you can't even compare the pain.

xstitch · 10/05/2011 09:10

You are right serindipity there are many people who cannot understand why it is heartbreaking. My first day back at work after one of my MC a colleague said he didn't understand how I could be upset about 'something that had never existed' I was carrying a tray with drip bags in it and had a incredible urge to see if I could burst them over his head. I locked myself in the toilet for a bit instead.

Each week you get further on you feel slightly more secure yet at the same time the fear gets greater.

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