Watford hospital won't tell me the sex of my baby

[PinkFondantFancy]

I understand my baby might not be lying in the right position to see the sex, I understand that they are concentrating on taking lots of important measurements, and I know it's not guaranteed to be accurate, so why can't Watford hospital treat me like an adult and if they can tell the sex of the baby during the course of the scan, tell me what it is?? Are there any good reasons for them not to? It just seems a bit petty.

Think yourself lucky you get a 20 week scan at all. Here (W Scotland), we don't (or at least didn't 4/5 years ago when I had my DC, not sure if it's changed).
And as others have said, it's an anomoly scan, not a sexing scan. There have also been reports of parents suing the hospital for getting the gender wrong in the past, I believe.

It's not discriminatory - it's different trusts doing things differently with different protocols. Things change over time.

For example, I had 3 inductions over the course of 3.5 years in the same hospital. Each time, there were different drug and other protocols eg starting induction in the morning or afternoon. I know a few people who had to go in the night before and stay without their partner; they hated this and so would I, but that was all that was on offer in that hospital.

It would be discriminatory if, for example, people of particular ethnic groups were told and others weren't. It's different protocols, not discrimination.

FWIW, I was desperate to know the sex of dc2 as dc1 had died. My hospital does tell people if they can see, and did tell us, but if they hadn't been able to I wouldn't have seen it as my right to be told iyswim.

I think Chateau Rouge's post indicates that indeed, it is discrimatory.

He he bears :) yes I work in Yorkshire feel free to pop along lol

Thanks Muffins! You are not going to charge me £100 though are you?

To you....£150

Gah! bloody cheaper in London! You've lost yourself £100 (you don't need it anyway with all those NHS bonuses you get

Chateau Rouge's post outlines her experience that one sonographer decided to tell them and that a year or more (presumably) later another sonographer didnt. She considers her husband's appearance may have been a factor in this difference. Who knows?

This is different from saying that a hospital policy is discriminatory. In fact, like your comparison between finding out the gender and finding out whether there is something seriously wrong with your baby, it makes no sense at all.

to be honest, we're pretty lucky to get free healthcare as it is, and the gender of your baby has nothing to do with your health or the baby's.

It annoys me that Watford don't tell you if I'm being honest. Mainly because the Sonographer gets to know but I'm the person carrying the baby and I don't.

But it's not the end of the world. At the 20 week scan both times all I cared about was that baby had all the bits and pieces in the right place and was ok- I was so relieved baby was ok and healthy not knowing the sex didn't actually piss me off. It's only now at 34 weeks when the suspense is killing me

It's widely believed round here the rule about not disclosing the sex is due to the large "ethic community", although I don't think you'll ever get anyone at the hospital to tell if that's true (not on the record anyway). I hope that isn't the reason as I think it's frankly insulting to assume any parent feels that way about either sex- that they'd abort it if wasn't the "right sex". Especially not if that assumption is based solely on a person's cultural/religious beliefs.

FWIW, I think they're policy has always been the same. They wouldn't tell my mum the sex when she was expecting my sister in 1983 and she didn't even bother asking when she was expecting me. They didn't tell my friend either and her first was born in 1979.

Different PCTs do things differently. If you're talking just about maternity services: Some disclose gender at the anomoly scan, some don't. Some offer the NT scan, some don't. Some have private maternity rooms, some don't. Some induce using some drugs, some use others. Some consultants use forceps, some don't. Some have all day visiting, some restricted. Different hospitals have different set ups and for different reasons. At the point where the decisions they make affects the care you receive or the health outcomes of the patient and you can base it on something other than different practices, you can cry discrimination all you like. But while a hospital has the workload it does, the staff it does and the limitations it has to fix according to what they have deemed appropriate to the care they offer, I don't think you can be this worked up about it.

ohanotherone- my post only indicates one sonographer was being arsey- hardly the whole nhs! She was very rude and dismissive - particularly of DH- throughout the whole procedure. Maybe she just doesn't like beards? Obviously because he was bearded and has black hair he must be as bad as Osama Bin Laden...

FWIW- I do think they should tell you if they can see- I was desperate to know, I cannot stand surprises, and I would have been out of my mind if we had been unable to pay for a private scan.