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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

A complete nightmare!

122 replies

morrison1976 · 27/04/2011 20:46

This is me and my wifes first baby, and to be honest, it has been a complete nightmare for my wife. My wife is currently 20 weeks pregnant. For the first 15 weeks, she felt sick all the time, day and night, then about 4 weeks ago, she started to get pains in both hands and feet.

At first, her feet were worse, and she could only walk for 10 mins before her feet became so painful. Sometimes she will just sit there and her feet would start aching and sometimes this would last all day and night. At the time, my wifes hands would only hurt when she moved them, but the last two weeks, her hands have been so bad, even when she does not move them.She can't sleep at night because of the pain and the pain is there 24/7.

We went to our midwife and she said its most prob fluid, and she booked us to see a Physiotherapist. We went to see the physiotherapist and She asked loads of questions about the symptoms and check her hands and feet. She said it was worrying that my wifes feet and hands were really hot, and the fact that she couldn't straighten her hands or make a fist. She said my wife might have severe carpal tunnel syndrone, and said its quite rare for a woman who is only 18 weeks gone to have these symptons.

We told her that our doctor was going to make an appiontment to see rheumatologist. She went to check to see if they got my wifes information, and it turns out that our doctor did not even bother to tell them!!! So the woman said she will sort it out. She gave us some splinters for the hands but they did not work. She said that when we go home, i should get a bowl of hot water, and a bowl of cold water, and my wife should dip her hands in the cold for a while, and then the hot. We done this, and the symptoms did go for about 30 mins, but then they just come back stronger

we went to the hospital. We saw a doctor and she seemed to think that it was carpal tunnel syndrome. She took us to the anti natal department in the hospital. Another doctor came along and done some simple tests with my wifes hands and said he did not think it was carpal tunnel. He told her that she will have to stay there overnight and take a blood test. Also, he said he would get the Orthopedist doctor to check her out.

That night after i left, she was really bad. They gave her some sort of drink and she fell asleep for an hour, but woke up again in pain. In the end, they gave her an injection of Morphine that knocked her out all night.

The next day five Orthopedist doctors came over and done some simple tests. He said he did not believe it was carpal tunnel syndrome.The blood tests came back and they were fine, with no sign of arthritis. He said it was a complete mystery. He said he would get the Rheumatologist to come and see her.

He came and done some tests. He said he believed it was Rheumatoid Arthritis and they would need to do another blood test.

She was in so much pain they injected her with some sort of steroid and gave her 30mg codeine.

They said it will take a few days for the steroid to start working, so she should take the codeine, two every six hours. We have an appointment to see the Rheumatologist on the 5th may.

To be honest, the 15mg codeine did not work, and the 30mg is not working too and the steroid did not work either

I was very skeptical about the steroid because everything they have given my wife has not worked (apart from the morphine) but she can't take that everyday.

My wife was bad again, so i took her up the hospital.The midwife there said there is nothing they can do about it, and we really should not be in the marternity ward because its not pregnancy related, which is a load of rubbish. Anyways, another doctor came and could see she was in alot of pain, so he said she should stay the night.

She was in alot of pain that night and they gave her the drink again and the morphine, but they did not work as well as the first time she took them and the pain was there all night.

In the morning, a doctor came to see us and she said the blood tests came back fine, and she believed that the problem was fluid in the hands and sensitive nerves. She said there is not much they can do, and she will have to wait to see the Rheumatologist. Also, one of the drugs the midwife gave my wife was IBprofen. I asked if it was safe, and she said it was , but not after 24 weeks. Anyways, after two days of taking it, the doctor said we should not be taking it and stopped it straight away.

The sad thing about this, is they don't even know 100% what is causing this. I have had to stop work because my wife can't do anthing with her hands. She can't eat, wash, brush her teeth etc. She cries everyday because of the pain, and night time is the worst time. She said she has never felt pain like this before.

What i do to ease the pain in wrap a frozen bottle in a thin towel and she holds it at night so it numbs the hand and she can sleep. It the day time she has her hands in a bowl of cold water. But as soon at she takes her hands aways, they get so hot and the pain comes back again.

I rang the Rheumatologist today and managed to get an earlier appointment. We need to see him tomorrow, the same day we have our 20 week scan.

I am so stressed over this, and what makes it worse is, i have not come across one woman who went through, or is going through the same thing as my wife.

My wife is in a really bad way, and she is worried that there is nothing they can do about it, but she says she can't take the pain much longer. She said the pain feels like the time she trapped her finger in the car door, but this time its all over her hands and wrist 24/7. Also her hands are so hot and she has a burning pain feeling too. When i use the frozen bottle, the heat of her hands melts the ice quite quickly, thats how bad it is.

I hope we can get some answers tomorrow because there is only so much my wife can take. Im hoping someone here has gone through the same thing.

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morrison1976 · 07/05/2011 16:08

Looking at the release form for my wife, the prof of rhuematology has diagnosed my wife as having Erythromelalgia. I was praying that is was not this rare condition.

He said it should go after she gives birth, but having done some research on the condition, i don't think that is possible. I haven't the heart to tell my wife that this condition will prob stay with her.

I am at such a low point at the moment.

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nannyl · 07/05/2011 16:29

what an awful situation to be in.

Try and be positive though (which must be hard).... the guy may have got it wrong, your wife might get better after pregnancy.

Lets hope so.

(and what a lucky lady she is to have you caring so much about her)

Thinking of you all. X

redundant · 07/05/2011 18:50

nothing useful to add but wanted to say am thinking of you both, what an awful situation, hang in there. Hoping you have some family or friends you can lean on x

4pudding · 07/05/2011 19:37

Try not to worry about the drugs affecting the baby. Most are not advised in pregnancy but still the risk is very low, and if definitely sounds as if your wife needs them.

morrison1976 · 07/05/2011 19:40

Thank you all for your kind words. I am trying to stay positive, but its very hard. I have searched on the internet for information about pregnant women who got Erythromelalgia while pregnant, only for the symptoms to vanish after giving birth, but i can't find anything.

Im begining to think that they lied to us because they knew the truth might distress me and my wife. I have seen my wife go from a busy healthy fit person, to a person who can't hardly walk, and can't hardly do the normal stuff we take for granted. It is truely heart breaking.

I stay strong in front of my wife but sometimes it gets to me and i go in the bathroom and just cry. Also i have the stress of the baby and all the meds my wife is on to control the pain, or try and control the pain. Its just getting too much for me and i am scared im just going to break down!

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moregranny · 07/05/2011 20:18

I have just read that accupuncture can be very helpful in treating this condition, x

morrison1976 · 07/05/2011 20:36

We thought about accupuncture, and still might go down that road. We have to see the Rheumatologist this thursday. The Rheumatologist who diagnosed my wife with Erythromelalgia is supposed to be one of the top NHS Rheumatologist in the country. He also said the symptoms will go after she gives birth, but the evidence for that is bad at best when i have searched online.

I have managed to get his email and i have just sent him a message with my concerns. I told him i would rather know before my wife finds out if she is stuck with this horrible condition. Maybe he will reply with good news.

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nannyl · 07/05/2011 20:56

regardles of what consultant say accupuncture is completely safe in pregnancy, and certainly wont hurt or go "against" drugs too

worth a try IMO.... I had accupuncture every week from week 8 - 18 to deal with HG and i have to say it did help, and would highly recommend it.

Coppernoddle · 07/05/2011 21:34

Sometimes you can read too much on the Internet and can scare the life out of you! You read about the extreme cases and peoples horror stories but ever about the good ones! Think on the positive side that it will disappear and hopefully it will, even if she's left with a slight symptoms of this afterwards, based on that it started in pregnancy and pregnancy puts a lot of stresses on your body and exaggerates symptoms, I'm convinced that things will definitely ease if not disappear! During pregnancy my body goes through he'll and back, I have so many things wrong with me it's unreal and am a medical walking nightmare when I'm pregnant! But otherwise, I'm a very fit healthy energetic person! The complete opposite! You have to learn to relax yourself and not let yourself get to depressed and stressed over this for the sake of both of you, maybe talking to someone on a regular basis to vent your anxieties can help a lot!! Your doing a brilliant job so far in being strong for your wife, but you must remember your own feelings too as if you crack, her rock is gone! Learn to relax, and don't read any more searches! If anything, maybe start to get exited about your baby, buy new things, get the room ready, just in case it comes early, put your focus onto something els. Do try acupunture, it does more than it says on the box! I hope things work out for you, and hopefully may start to ease off!! On the positive side, they won't let you go to 40 weeks! Keep in touch and let us know how you get on!! X x x best wishes for you and your wife x x

morrison1976 · 07/05/2011 22:42

Thank you for your kind words. I will keep posting up until the baby is born and after. Maybe this thread will help another person who has the same symptoms as my wife. I will try and stay positive for me and my wife.

We will look into acupunture and see if that helps. Gabapentin does not seem to be working. The doctor said it would take about two days to take effect. Its been three days and it seems to have done nothing. tramadol does work a little bit, but she is still in alot of pain.

She takes Gabapentin 3 times a day, morning, evening and night, and she take tramadol every four hours, apart from when she takes it at night (11.00) after that, she takes it at 6.00) this is because she is only able to take five a day.

She does find that when she takes the tramadol at night with the Gabapentin, she can get about 5/6 hours sleep, but the Gabapentin is not easing the pain like its supposed too.

They say that aspirin is good for this condition, but i know thats a no go when pregnant.

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moregranny · 08/05/2011 09:02

What area of the country do you live in, I am in South Glos and lucky to have some brilliant hospitals and an accupuncturist who trained as a midwife ?

morrison1976 · 08/05/2011 10:44

I live in Brighton (UK)

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boredwithfoodprob · 08/05/2011 10:58

Hi Morrison, I have been following your story so far and it sounds horrendous. Thank goodness you are such a support for your poor wife. I hope you have good friends and family to turn to. Make you you look after yourself to stay strong for you wife. The reason I am writing is because I live just up the road from you in Hove and there is a great Acupuncture clinic here on Portland Road. I have been a couple of times and found them to be very thorough, professional and really take time to listen carefully to your symptoms. I would certainly recommend them and as it's so close for you, you've got nothing to lose. Plus they have drop in days on (I think) Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday so you don't even need to make an appointment. Plus only £20ish per drop in. Check these details though as it's a while since i've been. They also offer a number of other alternative treatments which might be worth looking into. Check out their website:www.acudance.co.uk/index.php?ref=home
Wishing you loads of luck.

morrison1976 · 08/05/2011 11:06

Thank you for the link. I will look at the site now, then send them a message and see if they think they can do anything.

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morrison1976 · 08/05/2011 15:41

I have a question for the women on here who have had children. I was talking to my mum about this and she said that when you are pregnant, you go through cycles, three, in fact. She said the first 3 months my wife was feeling sick, the second cycle she has had this problem, but this cycle is about to end, so maybe my wifes condition might change.

I know its a long shot, and my mum is trying to make sure i stay positive, but is there any truth in this?

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moregranny · 08/05/2011 15:56

My daughter was really tired and nauseous for the first 3 months, the second 3 months she had every cough ,cold and tummy upset plus the extreme tiredness and now for the last month ,and with only 5 weeks more to go, she is so much better, so perhaps there is something in what your mum says, lets hope so, fingers crossed for you, x

Finallygotaroundtoit · 08/05/2011 16:10

Morrison I know your intentions are good but I don't think you should try ti 'hide' any diagnosis from your wife.

TBH I would be very surprised if the Consultant responds to your email because of patient confidentiality

Coppernoddle · 08/05/2011 19:52

All three of my pregnancies have been broken up into three cycles! My first lasts till 20 weeks though, then it changes again about 28 weeks, although about 26 weeks I seem to have a surge of hormones whites reminds me two well of the hatred I have for the first cycle!!
I do honestly think that she will recover, but don't let them fob you off, get it sorted as much as you can as if you have future children, you know exactly what's happening and can prepare for it! As once the babies born and it disappears, you won't have any more investigations!

morrison1976 · 08/05/2011 21:41

The reason why i won't tell my wife is because i am clinging on to the hope that the diagnoses is wrong. I have read more on the blood flow and blood vessels during pregnancy, and i believe that this could be the problem. Maybe the blood flow is being blocked and that is causing the pain and the burning, because its inflamed. And this maybe the reason why its in her hands and feet. I could be wrong, but i am going to do more research on this.

It just seems strange that this all happened while my wife was 15 weeks pregnant, basically as soon as the morning sickness went. I think that maybe its my wifes body having conflics with the pregnancy. I am just trying to stay positive because there is no point thinking of all the negitives.

Maybe someone on here with more knowledge can confirm that it could be because of the blood flow and the blood vessels.

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jenga079 · 08/05/2011 21:56

The cycle bit is right... Three trimesters... All different and different for different people... So hopefully she will soon be over this & feeling stronger.

I hope this doesn't sound harsh as I really feel for you & your wife, but am wondering if maybe you need to stop googling and try to calm down a little. I know it must be horrendous seeing your wife in pain & worrying about your daughter, but do try to trust the docs, listen to what they say (&let your wife hear!) & remember they have years of training. Google isn't always your friend!

morrison1976 · 09/05/2011 08:06

The internet is a good tool to find information. Rememeber, it was me who said to the Rheumatologist that my wife had Erythromelalgia, and he said no. That was information i got from the internet. Later, she was diagnosed with the condition.

Its hard to calm down when my wife is in so much pain. You have to remember, there is alot of crap online, but there is also official medical websites with loads of information. If i can get moe information online on wha my wife is feeling. then maybe that wil help my wife, and help us next time we go to the Rheumatologist. I just can't sit back and wait. I have to try and do something myself.

I know they have years in training, but i also know they are only human, and we all make mistakes.

OP posts:
grandmaagain · 09/05/2011 16:34

morrison
I am sorry I can"t help you and poor wife , however just a thought, while you are researching on the internet have you looked for any support groups dealing particulally with the condition your wife has been diagnosed with?
they often have more practical imformation than Drs. (please forgive me if you have already tried and found no help.) I wish there was more I could do.

jenga079 · 09/05/2011 19:34

I know Morrison, and I really hope you find the information & support you need. I'm not being critical & you sound like a great husband. I just hope you don't get bogged down in the horror stories you read online.

Hope your wife's feeling a bit stronger today.

frida75 · 09/05/2011 20:11

morrison this is such a sad situation for you both to be in, you must be so frustrated and wiped out by it all. I just wanted to say it might be worth talking to someone at the hospital about Aspirin. I have been taking a tiny amount (75mg) since the beginning of my pregnancy until 36 weeks due to previous miscarriages. Even if she can just take this small amount she might get a little relief.

I hope things improve for your wife and that you have got people to take care of you as well.

INeedNewCurtains · 10/05/2011 10:02

Morrison, did you see my suggestion of scleroderma further up thread?