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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

So I have learnt more from Mumsnet than I did at my first midwife appointment!

13 replies

LoveACuppaTea · 19/04/2011 16:10

Went in, filled in some forms, got ABSOLUTELY HOUNDED by her asking what would I do if I found out my baby had Downs Syndrome - like seriously it went on for a good 5 minutes! Got given a book and some forms to take away to fill in and she will come to my home in a few weeks to see them (why? is she checking I dont live in a dump or somthing?) and took my blood pressure. And that was it.

No - blood test, checking im actually pregnant, telling me the odds of having a miscarriage or signs to look for, nothing. If it wasnt for Mumsnet I would still be in the dark about everything!

Thanks everyone!

OP posts:

CherryPie3 · 19/04/2011 16:18

I remember being seriously underwhelmed at my very first mw appt too!

By pregnancy 3 I could've run her through the whole process however .

The appointments get much better the more you get to know your mw. When I was pregnant with dc3 we used to just chat after the actual appointment about maxi dresses, holidays, weather....

Was lovely and I miss it :):(

Joannezipan · 19/04/2011 16:20

My first one was like that too, the one at my house was much longer and more in depth. I think it is because they can't do that much without a family history...whaich are the forms you have to fill in now. I think they do it at home so they can ask you about stuff in a more relaxed setting. Also my MW only has a room at the surgery on tuesdays and wednesday AM...it could be a space thing. It made it much easier at the home one when I gave them (i had a student MW too) cake and tea. I don't think it is about checking up on you! The Downes Syndrome thing sounds odd though!

BikeRunSki · 19/04/2011 16:32

I have learned more from Mumsnet about conception, pg, birth and parenting than from everyone else put together!

I think the "hounding" about Down's is that the screening tests (should you want them) start relatively early on in pg (here, from about 11.4 weeks with nuchal translucency) so you need to give some consideration to whether you'd have them; what you'd do if results made you high risk; whether you'd proceed to an amnioscinteisis (sp??) and the risks this in itself involves and so on; or if you would just leave your pg to proceed without knowing. I think these are issues that you do need to think about, and in you first pg you may know very little, although you might have to make so decisions quickly.

theonlyhb2 · 19/04/2011 18:04

i bought the mumsnet pregnancy book. i still learn more "proper" advice here than from the so called professionals!

TurtlesAreRetroRight · 19/04/2011 18:14

I think people often feel let down by the first appointment but really it's just an admin exercise. There's nothing else to do. No point testing (that's what home pregnancy tests are for), if they'd mentioned miscarriage as a matter of course another person would be on here saying they'd been frightened by the stats.

It's just a form filling exercise. We did the necesasary dull stuff and then chatted about holidays and news and nonsense. There's little to tell you apart from take your folic acid unless you have specific questions. All the other stuff is in the million and one leaflets.

MN is definitely where you need to be for everything else and don't be frightened to ask your midwife if you do want to know about specific things. Be prepared for subsequent appointments to be urine check, stomach feel, heartbeat, blood pressure and out. All in five minutes. If it is short and sweet, you're progressing normally generally.

CherryPie3 · 19/04/2011 18:21

Very true turtles

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange · 19/04/2011 18:38

Please font underestimate the potential impact of your downs test results, I had a 1:15 result last week.

PrincessScrumpy · 19/04/2011 18:38

My mw was more concerned about whether I'd suffered domestic abuse - went on about it for ages and the more I said it wasn't an issue the more she went on about it. I think she'd been on a course! dh would never hit me!

candr · 19/04/2011 18:59

My MW hasn't brought up domestic abuse yet but after posts on here I keep waiting for her to. Had app today and heard baby heartbeat which i was not expecting to do so was lovely surprise (did not think they did that, not that i thought anything was wrong), nice when having so few changes at the mo to have that little treat. Love this site for advice as MW works part time this is my first port of call. x

theonlyhb2 · 19/04/2011 19:11

maybe mine thinks I am a sufferer as my OH comes to all my appointments with me.....although the last one we went to, he had a black eye, so maybe they will give him some advice?!?!

BuffyFan · 19/04/2011 21:06

My DH was at my first MW appt too, and she deliberately didn't bring up domestic abuse because he was in the room. And after I'd warned him that he might be asked to leave for a bit while she spoke to me...

Definitely agree that the first MW appt is a big let down. I still can't quite believe that both GP and MW have just taken me at my word, and nobody wants to check I'm pg. Nothing now until my 12 week scan and that will be the first time somebody will actually confirm there's anything in there. No wonder so many of us spend our time paranoid about mc.

Lynzilove · 19/04/2011 21:35

First one is completely admin based - I have found the ones after better coz you get to hear the heartbeat.

They only ask the domestic abuse question if you're on your own. as obviously if you're there with your oh you are unlikely to respond the same as if you are on your own.

the pregnancy tests are only the same as what you do at home, and why would you say you were pregnant if you werent???? as you say - the 12 week scan will reveal all anyway.

the mw appointments are meant to check the health and wellbeing of you and baby and a port of call for questions - it isnt meant to be a party each time. yes they get better as you get to know each other better, but just remeber you are one of many ladies they see every day and they are doing a job.

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange · 20/04/2011 07:02

The fact is that domestic Abuse can start during pregnancy. It's also on of the many thi gs that would get you flagged for other services just like being over/underweight, smoking etc

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