Reducing Stillbirth: Count the Kicks Campaign

[CarGirl]

I just want to promote "Count The Kicks"

Please read this, if it helps one Mum not suffer the agony of stillbirth it's worth it

countthekicks.org.uk/

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Please read

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I have just lost my baby Alexander at 41+1 weeks last week. 7lb 3oz and perfect. Lots of curly hair.
He apparently died sometime in the week before - heart monitoring 1 week before was ok. We had noticed no movements the night before, but tried to convince ourselves that there was something. It might have been even earlier, but we were occupied (like you are). We didn't bother anyone.
It might be the placenta, or an infection now, but we are waiting for all the tests to get back and also hoping to see my baby again today.
He is a real person and I won't 'get over it' like some people have advised me to do. 'You can always have another' doesn't really cut it when I still feel pregnant because I'm still 2 stone up and have no baby but a nursery full of stuff.

oh curly I am so sorry . It is so utterly unfair, your poor baby boy. People can say some really stupid and hurtful things, of course you won't "get over it". 4 days after losing my daughter at 20 weeks (and 6 days before her burial) I was told I just had to "put it behind me and move on". Nope. And another baby could never replace your Alexander, nor I'm sure would you want them too.

Can I invite you to the bereaved mothers thread? Lots of different ages and circumstances and stages of grief, but we all have lost the most precious things in our lives and do our best to support each other.

Love to you x

Thank you x

Oh, no. So, so sorry curlybug.
Please do join with the bereavement threads.

No - you will not just "get over it" however - eventually - the pain will ease.

Oh Curlybug so sad to read about your Alexander, all I can offer are my condolences

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Curlybug.
I am so sorry for your loss. I know only too well how difficult these first few days, weeks, and months are. Whatever happens to you in the future you will never "get over" this, but I promise that the pain does ease.

Please get in touch with your local SANDS group. They have been a lifeline for me and a lot of other bereaved mums that I have met.

I know it might seem a bit pragmatic, but I had two books which I found very helpful:
www.amazon.co.uk/Empty-Cradle-Broken-Heart-Surviving/dp/1555913024
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0415252768/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?pf_rd_p=103612307&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=1555913024&pf_rd_m=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&pf_rd_r=0ET85JS5G0Q9W5FEARBC

My thoughts are with you and your precious son.
xx

Trying the links again.

www.amazon.co.uk/Empty-Cradle-Broken-Heart-Surviving/dp/1555913024

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0415252768/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?pf_rd_p=103612307&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=1555913024&pf_rd_m=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&pf_rd_r=0ET85JS5G0Q9W5FEARBC

Curlybug, I am very sorry for your loss.

I was looking to bump this thread because it's important. When I was at 41 weeks I noticed that I had reduced movement during the morning and the usual tricks of cold drinks and ice cream didn't produce any kicks. I was having pains (now know they were contractions) so just put it down to that making the baby quiet. I left it until late in the evening before calling the hospital. I went in for monitoring and it turned out I was in labour but the baby was distressed.

I ended up having an EMCS. Baby's apgar scores were 1 and then 2 at 5 mins. Luckily he rapidly improved and he was brought to me after one hour and although poorly for a few days from the birth, didn't need to go to scbu.

It turned out my baby was clearly distressed, and it scares me to think what the outcome would have been if I'd ignored the lack of movement and stayed to labour at home as long as possible.

If you think you have reduced movement, don't ignore it and get it checked out.

Bump

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Very important

Please read

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