Find out or shut up?

[cassnstar]

I'm 9 weeks, #3 unexpected with a big gap to DS and DD but know it does happen. Told a couple of close friends early on because was so in shock and needed to talk to someone. Seems like someone has told someone who has told someone who is now making knowing comments in public places. Do I find out who and let them know I am not happy, lots of family don't know yet, I haven't even seen a midwife (have a doctor though) and haven't had a scan. Or do I let it go as gossips will be gossips even when you have specifically said not to tell anyone?

And btw as a result have been awake for past 2 hours thinking about it so will feel crap in the morning.

My thinking is that you know which two friends you told and that if it were me I'd make a mental note but let it pass. I'd be wary of telling either really personal information again, not neccessarily never confide I'd just be wary.

Goodness you've lots of (wonderful and exciting) things to concern yourself in without wasting your precious energy on this. If it looks like folk are starting to know I'd start to let folk know yourself as that way you'd get the joy yourself. Make sure they realise how happy you are though (any private doubts are not for public consumption), as otherwise folk have a nasty habit of sowing seeds of doubt and uncertainty which can spoil an otherwise very special time. It's almost like they can't help themselves....

You must look after yourself, you've been given a really fantastic opportunity try and enjoy every part of it that you can and bat away anything negative. Take it all in your stride :)

Thanks guys just felt ?t was our news to tell post 12 weeks and th?s happened to me at same t?me w?th 1st preg- m?l told fr?end told my ne?ghbour and ? was st?ll v unhappy be?ng pregnant. Its a very close commun?ty here and ? guess ? am concerned about mc

Oh god! those ???'s cos I posted via my phone and it looks like I'm a numpty now!

I would keep quiet but not tell anything to them ever again. Hubbys teamleader is doing something similar. He seems to be telling random people at his work at the moment even though hubby only told three people and the team leader himself.

I had a similar thing happen. This pregnancy was always going to be high risk - it ended up being high risk three times over in fact - so I kept it quiet as long as possible, including from in-laws and even my own sister.

I get that sometimes people are put on the spot about these things especially when asked by other suspicious friends, but the right thing to do is then to tell the person whose secret you broached what has happened. Instead this "friend" is now pretty much ignoring me (the fact she told someone hasn't even been mentioned at this point, but a mutual friend confirmed it was her) as her way of feeling "bad" about it I presume. No doubt she's justified it to herself that I shouldn't have told anyone in the first place if I wanted it secret or something stupid but I only told her as I wanted her support.

I'm sorry you feel let down too. Like you I've lost a lot of sleep over it which is silly in hindsight especially as the pregnancy is more important, but you can't help how you feel.

I think it is really off to share this sort of information as pregnancy is so personal and other people need to respect that. But if it does get out, the culprit should apologise and confess.

Well thank you for all your advice, in the end 'I found out' which was the best thing as it turns out it was guesswork just because I was on fruit juice at the pub..... so now she knows how early I am and was really lovely. It's going to be guessed I suppose in some cases- I've only been to the pub twice for that very reason but she picked up on it. Much happier now and hopefully will get a good night's sleep tonight..yawning already!