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I lost it in the hospital today...can they MAKE me see a consultant?

93 replies

Enid · 26/10/2005 13:52

I have been 'forced' to see a consultant (apparently because of my age - i am 39). Anyway I thought I'd go along today and hopefully that would be the end of it. I had to wait for an hour and a quarter (I had the dds with me too) then when they finally saw me the consultant was away and I saw the Senior House officer who just filled in yet more forms, asked some questions that my midwife had already asked, took bp then told me I would have to come back to see the consultant when he was back in in a month.

I am afraid I lost it, said this is pointless, I don't even want to see a consultant and just forget it. Then we left.

I really DO NOT want to see a consultant. I am healthy, my weight/bp/iron levels are all fine. I have had two healthy babies. I had complications with dd1's birth but dont see how seeing a consultant could have prevented it. They aren't magic are they? I mean why can't I just see the midwife??

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 26/10/2005 13:54

NO, they cannot force you to see a consultant.

And you're quite right to be miffed.

Think I'd give it a miss myself and tell them in no uncertain terms why.

wallopyCOD · 26/10/2005 13:55

i never saw one in all threee births

but i am not as geriatric as you

OrribleOliveoil · 26/10/2005 13:55

I had this with dd2 as I had had a section with dd1. Tbh I was quite pleased as it meant I could discuss my concerns over VBAC or elective etc BUT I only saw her the once and refused at every appointment after that.

You have to wait for the scan, move rooms, wait for the midwife, move rooms, blood tests, move rooms etc etc. I told them that I was fine and I would make another apt if I needed to.

I had been there for 2 hours at this point and had had just about enough.

They do just look at the notes your m/w has made and go over them imo.

bossykate · 26/10/2005 13:55

have you got private health insurance? then you could have your cake (see a consultant - address whatever minimal risk there might be) and eat it too (you won't be kept waiting, you will see the consultant him/herself).

doormat · 26/10/2005 13:56

the medical prof can sometimes be a right pain in the butt
it is probably standard procedure as they call it
btw congratulations on your pg

Nemo666 · 26/10/2005 13:56

i dont think they canmake you see consultant. Here it is par for the course that you see consultant at least once. I have seen my twice and have another appointment in nov but that is due to depression. With ds i saw them once.

MassacreOHara · 26/10/2005 13:56

You're wrong Enid, they are magic. honest!

OrribleOliveoil · 26/10/2005 13:57

tell them it is 2005 and not 1905 and to get with the programmmmmmm maaaaaaaan, 39 is not old.

flutterbee · 26/10/2005 13:57

No they can't make you see anyone or do anything you don't want to. My Mum had her youngest at 43ish and she said it was the worst of all her 7 pg's because of the way they treated her just because of her age, because she refused to have the amnio test they actually said to her that she would have to live with it if her child had Down Syndrome she still gets angry now about it because she said that the test would have made no difference as to whether or not she continued with the pg but they were like this all the way through.
All they are doing it for is to cover there own backs if a problem develops, stand your ground and do what you want.

Enid · 26/10/2005 13:58

Right I am refusing to go back unless (god forbid) there is a problem.

I feel like having the bloomin baby in a hedge tbh.

OP posts:
OrribleOliveoil · 26/10/2005 14:00

I think they sometimes forget all the hormones that are swimming around these waiting rooms, do they not realise they are in danger these docs? .

Enid · 26/10/2005 14:00

flutterbee thats spooky i was talking to my mum just now (last baby at 44) and she said exactly the same (she refused amnio and they told her she had a 1 in 4 chance of the baby being downs, she worried the whole way through).

If I dont see a consultant I have to write a disclaimer fgs. I suppose in case the baby has something wrong with it and I cant sue them.

OP posts:
handlemecarefully · 26/10/2005 14:02

No they can't force you...

Bloody hell Enid - you're like a second biological clock ticking away and telling me to get on with number 3 now and stop prevaricating (I'm 37)

Enid · 26/10/2005 14:04

yeah get on with it

I have heard nothing but'thoughtful' comments about my age since I first went to the midwife. and your nuchal fold goes down to 1:107 before adjustment.

OP posts:
twirlaround · 26/10/2005 14:04

They have standard procedures for older pregnancies which they expect everyone to follow unquestioningly.

They need to be reminded that this is YOUR pregnancy, YOUR body, YOUR choices and you need to be prepared to insist that you are allowed to choose.

If you just want to see the midwife, then just see the midwife - no one can make you see a consultant! Be firm & take charge!

Enid · 26/10/2005 14:06

god massacre, are they magic?

OP posts:
jersey · 26/10/2005 14:09

I agree on consultants. In my first preg we where scared to death by the consultants at the hospital who told me that as I had treatment for an abnormal smear test years ago I stood a high chance of losing the baby as it was very unlikely I would get past the early 20's (weeks)!!

I spent most of my preg worried sick. Turned out no problems and delivered by induction at 38weeks (due to pre-eclampsia, but thats a diff. story).

Hoping next time around won't have any of this as already proved I can carry a baby to term!

Cadmum · 26/10/2005 14:19

Enid, I really feel for you. I was also forced to see a consultant with DS2. The whole thing was a ridiculous waste of his time and mine but the local midwives would not even look at my notes because I had been deemed high risk. In the end we opted for an independent midwife and I had the most amazing home-birth.

Funny enough, I am now 20 weeks into another pregnancy that is being monitered by the high-risk unit and I am just going along with it but I honestly agree that consultants are not magic and that I am a waste of what valuable skills they may posess. I just hope that I am not stealing the spot from someone who could really use it. I somehow suspect that there is someone who worries themselves to sleep everynight and does not have the proper referal because the health care system has gone mad.

I wish you all the best for a happy and healthy pregnancy. I am sure that you know your body best and can make decisions based on sound facts rather than statistics relating to your age. Would a midwife NOT send you for proper ante-natal screening? I just don?t understand...

Enid · 26/10/2005 14:21

The SHO tried to tell me that if I didnt fill in this form or other I wouldnt GET a 19 week scan - I know that is crap as my midwife automatically refers you for one.

I really want a home birth now. But scared and also dh against

OP posts:
mrow · 26/10/2005 14:22

Is it possible yor being a little bit over sensitive? Im 28 and have seen the reg once, the consultant once and again tomorrow as I'm now overdue! With me it's because Im smaller than the average pregnant women and they just wanted to make sure everything was progressing o.k. Personally I found it reassuring and I think pregnant women would complain even more if they were not offered consultant appointments. They are paid a lot for their knowledge and experience, use them I say even if the risks are minimal! Sorry to disagree with everyone!!

OrribleOliveoil · 26/10/2005 14:24

I wouldn't have a home birth, am scaredy cat. Also dd1 would not be here if I had done .
But I know people love them on here so do not listen to me doom mongering.

Enid · 26/10/2005 14:24

I know some women feel very reassured by hospitals/consultants but personally I do not, I find them an irritating waste of time. Sorry but thats my opinion.

I think it over medicalises something which women have been getting on with for millenia. I mean, I dont know your circumstances, but why should being smaller than average mean that you need a medicalised birth?

OP posts:
Enid · 26/10/2005 14:27

well no I understand where you are coming from oo. dd1 was transverse op - there you go, maybe a consultant would have picked that up - and i had a horrible birth with high forceps and ventouse, no drugs, hideous, severe bruising on my arms and shoulders (from dh having to hold me back on the bed to stop me being pulled off with the force of the pulling at the other end) etc etc. I would have had to be rushed to hospital if that had been the caes at home.

OP posts:
mrow · 26/10/2005 14:36

Well I suppose it doesn't. I also do agree your wishes should be the most important consideration of course. On the other hand I can see the medical professions point of view and why they need to cover themselves by providing standardised care. Obstetricians are the most likely consultants to be sued and if god forbid anything was to go wrong with the pregnancy, the question would be why did this women not see the consultant as a precautionary measure? I think this would evoke an angrier reaction from us women thats all.

highlander · 26/10/2005 18:20

don't go. Just don't keep your appointments. make monthly appts instead with your GP to have your BP taken and urine dipped. He'll be so sick of the sight of you you'll be back on the midwife's books in no time.

Although............. I would be reluctant to see a midwife who referred you to the hospital in the first place.

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