I lost it in the hospital today...can they MAKE me see a consultant?

[Enid]

I have been 'forced' to see a consultant (apparently because of my age - i am 39). Anyway I thought I'd go along today and hopefully that would be the end of it. I had to wait for an hour and a quarter (I had the dds with me too) then when they finally saw me the consultant was away and I saw the Senior House officer who just filled in yet more forms, asked some questions that my midwife had already asked, took bp then told me I would have to come back to see the consultant when he was back in in a month.

I am afraid I lost it, said this is pointless, I don't even want to see a consultant and just forget it. Then we left.

I really DO NOT want to see a consultant. I am healthy, my weight/bp/iron levels are all fine. I have had two healthy babies. I had complications with dd1's birth but dont see how seeing a consultant could have prevented it. They aren't magic are they? I mean why can't I just see the midwife??

hello bk, haven't seen you for ages (actually I assumed you had changed your name and I'd missed it!)

not very up on berengaria of navarre, sorry to disappoint . I just think it is one of the ugliest names possible. Apart from Dolores, which has to be the WORST name (who would call their child misery????)

I've told everyone I know that my next baby (which we know is a girl) is going to be called Dolores - you can see the panic in people's eyes while they wonder if I'm being serious or not...!

My aunt is called Dolores. She is Irish with a fantastic sense of humour and definitely one of my favorite aunts - so no reflection on her names at all. Thankfully we haven't had girls so I haven't had to consider a family middle name yet (one of our ds's is blessed with Loughlin as one of his middle names).

teehee - you now know the extent of my knowledge of b of n

was serenequeen for quite a while but reverted to bk when i returned to work about 6/7m ago. i don't get much chance to post these days though - w/e nights when dh is out - that's about it.

mn is just too big now - for me anyway.

btw - we told everyone bubs would be "cyrano" if male and "other dreadful female name i've now forgotten" if female...

I was pregnant with ds2 (3rd pregnancy) when I was 39 and gave birth just before I turned 40. Never saw a consultant except right at the end for about 2 mins at an extra growth scan which was nothing to do with age )had this with my first when much younger). Not read all the thread but good luck with your baby.

My last pregnancy number four I had to see a consultant as I went nineteen days overdue. He was completely cool as I have always been overdue. My community midwife who had delivered number three was also cool.On the day of delivery which I will add was Friday the 13th I end up at home with the midwife from hell she just did not want to deliver. Used my phone to verbally abuse my family GP shouted at my two year old who had picked up the extension. At no point during the three hours she was in my home did she show any support in fact did not examine me internally at all.At this point hospital was a relief! Baby number four was delvered safely just differently to what I would have liked, you have to go with the flow on the day. Now thirty weeks pregnant with number four I have had a real battle because midwife from hell has alerted head of widwifery that my address is four hundred yards over the border between England and Wales. I have had to fight to use my lovely supportive community midwife who delivered number three and fingers crossed that on the day she's on duty. A home birth is a magical experience and if I could guarentee experience number three then I would pay. Hope all goes well, trust yourself. Find out what your rights are. Hospitals have the effect of reducing us to a child like state. I found myself asking hubby if it was alright to hold my own baby! and I am thity seven years old.

My last pregnancy number four I had to see a consultant as I went nineteen days overdue. He was completely cool as I have always been overdue. My community midwife who had delivered number three was also cool.On the day of delivery which I will add was Friday the 13th I end up at home with the midwife from hell she just did not want to deliver. Used my phone to verbally abuse my family GP shouted at my two year old who had picked up the extension. At no point during the three hours she was in my home did she show any support in fact did not examine me internally at all.At this point hospital was a relief! Baby number four was delvered safely just differently to what I would have liked, you have to go with the flow on the day. Now thirty weeks pregnant with number four I have had a real battle because midwife from hell has alerted head of widwifery that my address is four hundred yards over the border between England and Wales. I have had to fight to use my lovely supportive community midwife who delivered number three and fingers crossed that on the day she's on duty. A home birth is a magical experience and if I could guarentee experience number three then I would pay. Hope all goes well, trust yourself. Find out what your rights are. Hospitals have the effect of reducing us to a child like state. I found myself asking hubby if it was alright to hold my own baby! and I am thity seven years old.

My last pregnancy number four I had to see a consultant as I went nineteen days overdue. He was completely cool, as I have always been overdue. My community midwife who had delivered number three was also cool. On the day of delivery, which I will add was Friday the 13th; I end up at home with the midwife from hell she just did not want to deliver. Used my phone to verbally abuse my family GP shouted at my two-year-old who had picked up the extension. At no point during the three hours she was in my home did she show any support in fact did not examine me internally at all. At this point hospital was a relief! Baby number four was delivered safely just differently to what I would have liked, you have to go with the flow on the day. Now thirty weeks pregnant with number four I have had a real battle because midwife from hell has alerted head of midwifery that my address is four hundred yards over the border between England and Wales. I have had to fight to use my lovely supportive community midwife who delivered number three and fingers crossed that on the day she's on duty. A home birth is a magical experience and if I could guarantee experience number three then I would pay. Hope all goes well, trust yourself. Find out what your rights are. Hospitals have the effect of reducing us to a child like state. I found myself asking hubby if it was alright to hold my own baby! and I am thirty-seven years old.

Aplogies

we appeared to have problems with the connection. It was only after I went round the loop three times of web-site failing to respond that I found that the message had posted each time.

sorry. Is there a way of editing or deleting your own responses? some boards have this facility but I don't see it here.

Enid I was pg with dd2 at 39 and given a consultant appt at 8 weeks. He was really nice to me and in my case it was me rather than them who was obsessed about being old! He offered me a scan there and then (had never had one with dd1 as not routine in those days) and I was totally thrilled to see the little thing, heart beating away and could already see that she had her daddy's chin at 8 weeks!

Never needed to see him again throughout the rest of the pg.

I was 38 when I had ds and no one suggested I saw a consultant. But why dont you want to see one? I cant understand why people push against advice surely as long as the baby is ok it doesnt matter

Gawd, it's mad isn't it enid, 39 just isn't old. As you know I had 2 home births and think they're fab, let us know if you decide to give it a go and dh needs persuading.

When I was in labour (had turned 40 by then) and it was taking a long time to crank up the mw said to me "It's cos you're old"

Bloody hell you're pregnant

how did I miss that

congratulations Enid

oh and no you don't have to see a consultant if you don't want one .. after all if you end up needing one you'll get to see one I'm sure (not that you will of course)

Thanks all.

www I am more and more coming round to a home birth and dh is even discussing it fairly rationally.

I was actually, for me, really low on Friday all due to this shenanigans on Wednesday. Stupid I know but I think I really hate hospitals. As dh says I may have felt better had I actually got to see the consultant!

auntymandy I am pushing against the 'advice' as it seems to have nothing to do with me (absolutely no probs with pg so far at all, I am very fit and healthy) but everything about being part of a 'system' which personally I do not find reassuring. Also it hadn't occurred to me that I wouldnt be allowed just to get on with my pg using just midwife care as I have always done - they have made an issue over my age and however strong you are it niggles away at you.

good for you Enid, I think a home birth is a good idea for you, guess you just need to find the right midwife to support you so you feel totally confident.

yy am going to talk to midwife in 2 weeks, if no joy will hire an independent hopefully.

oh enid how exciting!
You'd be fine with a homebirth - for no 3 you know exactly what is going on and can read yourself beautifully, and since you had nice quick labours before it all makes sense. I hope you find a really nice community midwife you can latch onto, otherwise just talk to an IM and see how you feel...

then start a thread called "should I hire a birthing pool" for me to post on please