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Original poster

I lost it in the hospital today...can they MAKE me see a consultant?

93 replies

Enid · 26/10/2005 13:52

I have been 'forced' to see a consultant (apparently because of my age - i am 39). Anyway I thought I'd go along today and hopefully that would be the end of it. I had to wait for an hour and a quarter (I had the dds with me too) then when they finally saw me the consultant was away and I saw the Senior House officer who just filled in yet more forms, asked some questions that my midwife had already asked, took bp then told me I would have to come back to see the consultant when he was back in in a month.

I am afraid I lost it, said this is pointless, I don't even want to see a consultant and just forget it. Then we left.

I really DO NOT want to see a consultant. I am healthy, my weight/bp/iron levels are all fine. I have had two healthy babies. I had complications with dd1's birth but dont see how seeing a consultant could have prevented it. They aren't magic are they? I mean why can't I just see the midwife??

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spidermama · 26/10/2005 18:24

Ooooh! Enid I'd be fuming.
No, they can't force you to do anything. You know best. Grrrrrrr!

SoupDragon · 26/10/2005 19:00

As others have said - of course they can't force you. How can they?

katierocket · 26/10/2005 19:30

LOL at having the baby in a hedge. I think it's bloody disgraceful (and a sad sign of the times) that you had to sign a disclaimer saying you didn't want to see him. Mind you I had to sign a disclaimer when I refused the triple test and also when I said I didn't want to know about the presence of 'soft markers' at 20 week scan.

winnie · 26/10/2005 19:32

Enid, they can't force you but you still feel the pressure and the judgements being made when you refuse. Not really any advice I am afraid but do sympathise as I have been there and I was made to feel liek I was putting my baby at risk. Good luck and stick to what you want but don't expect it to make you popular.

MarsLady · 26/10/2005 19:37

My consultant was and is wonderful.

I saw her for my last 3 pregnancies. She's the one who told me what sex the DTs were when everyone else refused.

She popped by to see me daily when I was admitted for a transverse lie.

I love her! If I were ever to have another child... it would be on the condition that I see her.

She cut right to the chase and told me all I needed to know.. no fobbing me off. Wonderful.

That said... if you don't want to see one, fair does to you.

ladymuck · 26/10/2005 19:39

Enid - you do realise that you can't give birth until you see the consultant don't you.... It's a well known fact that some older women remain pregnant for decades (hence the mums giving birth in their 60s). You will be doomed to havign swelling ankles until you see the consultant and get the required permission to give birth. You will then give birth to a sarky teenager who hasn't been toilet trained yet...

katierocket · 26/10/2005 20:08
Grin
Original poster
Enid · 27/10/2005 09:05
Grin
OP posts:
goldenoldie · 27/10/2005 09:21

Enid - it is up to you who you see. The NHS can only offer you a service, you can refuse any/all of it if you like.

SueW · 27/10/2005 09:59

I was at a AIMS/ARM conference recently where there was a fantastic speaker - Ruth Weston. I think this is the birth pool compnay she runs. She got a standing ovation for her very amusing and yet accurate speech about how the consultant had so much influence on the birth of her children, even though the consultant never actually appeared. 'The consultant says...'

aloha · 27/10/2005 10:02

How odd. I had to fight like mad to see a proper consultant (the only people connected to childbirth that I remotely trust).

caterpiller · 27/10/2005 10:08

Stand your ground. You know your own body better than anyone. I've got 5. with no. 3 they wanted to do extra scans at the end because no.2 was small for dates. I refused because I felt he was a good size. They weren't too pleased, but he turned out to be the biggest of all. With no.5 the registrar told me she was lying diagonally at 38 weeks. when I went through for a scan it turned out she was in fact perfectly positioned - he got it wrong. on the whole, I find the midwives much more trustworthy. Most consultants are arrogant anyway!(sorry if any of you are consultants) If all is well at the 20 week scan, you call the shots then.
Good luck.

aloha · 27/10/2005 10:10

I found the midwives were ghastly - arrogant and often downright nasty. The consultants were lovely (and intelligent, which mattered to me too). I got sick to death of seeing midwives. You can't please everyone in the NHS.

aloha · 27/10/2005 10:14

Actually I think this is another PARP subject for me.

SueW · 27/10/2005 10:15

Does this mean you'll be having a quiet mumsnet-free day aloha with all your parp subjects at the top of active convos?

Original poster
Enid · 27/10/2005 11:58

aloha I think its been made quite clear that we have vastly different attitudes to birth! Sorry that you didn't get the treatment you wanted during your pg, but I don't think its 'odd' to feel the way I do, sorry.

OP posts:
aloha · 27/10/2005 12:05

All I'm saying is that for everyone like you who doesn't want to see a consultant at all, there is someone like me, desperate to see one. I am amazed you are being forced to see a consultant at all tbh. I was older than you and really had to struggle to get to see anyone to talk sense about my caesarian with. Of course you can't be forced to see anyone you don't want to.

Original poster
Enid · 27/10/2005 12:11

well I know, exactly. it is madness. I just resent having to sign a bloody disclaimer form if I dont see a consultant - however strong you are it niggles away at you that you might not be doing the right thing for your baby.

Actually I wonder what would happen if I refused to sign the form and refused to see a consultant

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 27/10/2005 12:15

The consultant I saw with DS2 was a silly ar$e and an arrogant tw*t who listened to what I said, heard nothing and ignored it all. Luckily, the midwives ignored all he had to say.

Podmog · 27/10/2005 12:17

Message withdrawn

aloha · 27/10/2005 12:17

I missed loads of midwives appointments simply because Kings didn't have any staff. They actually said, all the antenatal appointments are booked up now, but do come in if you actually feel ill I didn't really mind as I hated the waiting around, but at least you can comfort yourself with the fact that you are getting some attention!

SoupDragon · 27/10/2005 12:20

Talking of staffing... I had to wait whilst the consultant had lunch once!

Personally, I think I trusted individuals rather than jobs IYSWIM. I didn't like all the midwives either but there were more of those to "chose" fom.

Original poster
Enid · 27/10/2005 12:23

yes agree about individuals mattering.

I actually wish that what happened to aloha would happen to me! I would love to miss all bloody docs appoitments and just have the baby in my bathroom with a midwife.

OP posts:
RosiePosie · 27/10/2005 12:24

Even if you don't sign the disclaimer form, I'm sure they legally have to provide you with midwifery care. In my opinion, midwives are fully trained to deal with all aspects of straightforward pregnancy and birth. They are also trained to spot any complications that might arise. It is only when complications do arise that consultants need to be seen, IMO. Therefore your age is irrelevant. I would say that you are requesting midwife led care and will not be seeing a consultant unless there are complications. If you come up against any opposition, contact AIMS, who will inform you of your rights and help you put it across to your health care professionals.

SoupDragon · 27/10/2005 12:25

I always envied those people who didn't know they were pregnant until they gave birth...