Overwhelmed by pregnancy dos & donts!

[PenguinPoo4]

Hi,
My DP and I have decided to try and conceive our first baby - eek! But I'm finding all the advice out there about what you can and can't eat and physically do a bit irritating. I've heard that you cant have hot baths whilst pregnant, can't eat soft boiled eggs, brie etc. etc. but people can never tell me WHY! It seems that a lot of pregnant and TTC women take all these precautions because 'it's better to be safe than sorry' and I do agree, but i want to be able to assess the risks for myself and make an informed decision about things based on FACT!Is there a book out there that actually goes into the science behind these things? I'm thinking studies, research etc. Please dont think I'm taking this all lightly and just looking for an excuse to carry on bunjee jumping and drinking wine whilst TTC and pregnant - I'm not, I just want to be able to make the decisions about how to manage my health myself - and lets face it, I could be TTC (so possibly unknowingly pregnant) for bloomin ages so at least if I can understand why I'm having to give up nuts or whatever then I may find it a bit easier!
Thanks!
PS I've lurked for a while but this is my first ever post so please be gentle :)

I didn't find out I was pregnant with my first dc until almost four months after conception! During that time I got very merry at Christmas parties, trained very hard at the gym, ate whatever I liked, took over the counter remedies, took hot baths, drank copious amounts of energy drinks and generally broke all the rules!

Admittedly I am pretty fit, eat generally well aside from the odd takeaway and said Red Bull addiction, don't smoke or take drugs and obviously this kind of approach wouldn't have a happy ending for everyone but dc is healthy, I had a very easy birth and a quick recovery and funnily enough, none of the health professionals I spoke to seemed at all worried about what I'd been upto before I knew I was pregnant. All in moderation, I was told. And I think they are right unless of course you are in a high risk group. Interestingly, I am pregnant again and a lot of advice seems to have changed already not two years later! Cue lots of eye rolling from myself. Relax and enjoy! Good luck!

Don't buy a pregnancy book with an adjective in the title. Like 'natural' or 'easy' or whatever.

I had a book called 'Expecting'. It was by two midwives, with a foreword from a doctor I think, and was published (I think?) by Virago. There were no pictures, no opinions, just choices and stuff that might be happening to you at each stage of the pregnancy. And handy advice you'd never think of, especially for the approx 2 week gap lots of women have between baby arrival and start of mat leave. For example, get a haircut because you're about to have loads of photos taken and no time to 'do' your hair!

The only advice I heeded re. what to eat and drink was that on the NHS website. I think for them to put it on there, it means there has been proven research/links, so it would be silly to ignore it - there's so little anyway......

Please ignore the pregnancy Gestapo - I did. I work in a predominantly female organisation and I was really worried as I knew that I would get lots of advice. In the end my pregnancy (1st) wasn't public knowledge until I was 6 months by which point I'd given up running (at 5 months) and made it clear that it wasn't a topic for public discussion. Overall it's the women without children who give "helpful" comments and hints and those with children are happy and supportive.

As for people trying to carry stuff for me etc - at nearly 7 months I'm embracing that as I'm knackered again :)

Good luck :)

PenguinPoo4 - I also think that if you do get upduffed, use it as a good excuse to get people to do things for you. As in, someone says 'Hmm, should you be carrying that ladder' to which you reply 'Ooohh, no, you're right. Here, you take it while I go and ensure I get all the fluid I need for the day by switching the kettle on, all the physical exercise I need by walking over to the biscuit tin and removing the lid, followed by all the required rest on the comfy chair on the staffroom. Yell if you need me to supervise you.' Seriously, while it is definitely a matter of being sensible rather than OTT, equally, I knew someone who was so intent on proving that she was supermum that she carried on exactly as normal while pg. Baby is fine, her back is bd.

With food, my attitude is that if there is a risk it doesn't do me much harm to avoid the food for a few months so I do avoid soft cheese, pate etc. But I don't bother doing that until I think I might be pg,and if I am confirmed not, I eat it for the next few weeks until round 2. And 3 etc.... My own feeling is that if I eat something that is a bit questionable, and then there's a problem, I will find it hard to live with myself and will always wonder if I caused the problem. But I don't take it to extremes, and generally go with the fairly general info in the pregnancy books.

I'm not making sense - hope there's something worthwhile in that lot!!

I don't really agree that the NHS offers the best advice ...

You're not supposed to eat runny eggs because of the risk of salmonella. But the risk of salmonella is stupidly low and salmonella does not cross the placenta so it doesn't harm the baby.

You're not supposed to eat soft cheese because of listeria. Listeria does cross the placenta and would harm the baby but only 2 people have had it in the UK in the last ten years, so your chances of getting it are so low that, while I 100% understand women who avoid it regardless (after all, who loves soft cheese that much?!), it's not being irresponsible at all to eat it anyway.

Alcohol, of course, is another contentious issue. The safe limit is not known, but countless studies have shown that the odd glass of wine with your dinner will have no effect at all. Even if you binge drink throughout your pregnancy the risk of Foetal Alcohol Syndrome is (I think) 1 in 1000. 1 in 1000 is obviously quite high considering how many women are pregnant and it's obviously common sense that getting drunk, which damages your own body, is going to carry a high risk of damaging your baby's development. It is linked to low birth weights too. But there is no proof (and not for want of looking) that drinking a small glass of wine every day with your dinner will cause any problems at all. I have to say, though, I'm not drinking anything anyway

Similarly as others have pointed out the advice changes because research is notoriously difficult in this area and its results are often very tentative and likely to be revised at a later date. So peanuts were out until recently because some small-scale studies suggested they might cause nut allergies. Until another research group realised that peanuts are staple ingredients in large parts of India, where there are also very low nut allergy rates ...

Basically the NHS goes with the most cautious interpretation of the data possible, and I completely agree that our babies are so important and precious that we're probably being very sensible to heed it. But those women who take it with a pinch of salt are not being irresponsible or silly, either - at the end of the day, not getting drunk, not taking drugs, not smoking, and everything else in moderation is just as safe a bet.

So I say relax, do what you feel comfortable with, and enjoy it!

Regarding the food issue - it hasn' t really made a difference to me as I am allergic or intolerant to almost the whole list :)

However living without a caffeine addiction is an eye-opener (not that I won't be straight back on it once I'm getting no sleep). I found that not drinking alcohol has shown me just how stupidly some people (my inlaws) behave when they're drunk. It's also worth bearing in mind that a lot of women can't stomach the smell of alcohol in the first trimester (I had to go to 3 weddings where the smell of wine made me sick) :(

Wow, hadn't logged on in ages (manic at work), am so pleased that lots of people have taken the time to give me their thoughts and advice. Thank you! I enjoyed valentines Day, and DP made mention of our plans to have a baby in the card which was lovely. It's prob exactly a week today since I took my last pill, so as it's normal to take a weeks gap without being at risk of getting pregnant I decided that we arent really TTC till today, so I got properly pished last night. Moderation all the way now!
My plan of action is folic acid, moderate drinking whilst TTC, then none/v little whilst up the duff. Excercise - well, i weight train with heavy weights at the moment so I definately will switch to lighter excercise when pregnant, not sure if I want to stop doing it whilst TTC though as its really getting me into shape and I could be TTC for ages. Need to think about that one.

What a great thread. I was vaguely aware of food restrictions before conceiving and didn't worry about it too much whilst TTC. Now we have, I have generally followed the guidelines from the midwife but also researched independently to understand the risks.

Someone who works for me is 26 weeks and pretty much since day 1 has been
"I can't eat cheesecake because I am pregnant"
"I can't eat chicken because I am pregnant"
"I can't eat coleslaw because I am pregnant"
etc etc etc

She doesn't know I am but when she came out with "I can't eat smoked salmon because I am pregnant" last week, I had to ask why.....she said it's because she doesn't actually like it! Nothing to do with any risks!!!!

So much ignorance and chinese whispers, it makes me crazy. We'd end up eating nothing in the end!!!!

Enjoy TTC PenguinPoo

Think about getting a doula..will make a world of difference. In the UK you are spoiled for choice.

Ive a great book "What to eat when you're pregnant" - includes A-Z of whats safe and whats not, by Rana Conway. It up to date and explains everything properly...small enough to carry around too...

I had my first midwife appointment today and talked about the foods etc to avoid. I questioned the "no runny eggs" advice on the basis of Lion marked eggs being from salmonella vaccinated hens and was told "we're not too sure about that, so still advise you to avoid". I get the feeling there is a lot of "we're not too sure about that etc" behind much of the advice. Look at the nut advice - as little as five years ago pregnant women were told to avoid nuts and now they've decided eating nuts when you are pregnant has no effect on nut allergies (although it might if you have family history of nut allergies. Hmm, that's clear then).

I'm finding this all quite confusing. A little part of me is so annoyed by rules without proper risk assessments behind them that I want to do things just to stick two fingers up, then I realise how childish that is and have a word with myself.

I am eating runny eggs, and have had the odd very small glass of wine or weak shandy. I think the risk associated with those are pretty low and I get a perverse thrill out of being "naughty!"

I get the feeling as my pregnancy progresses that I will work out very quickly who I can be honest with and who I need to pretend I am sticking to every piece of advice rigidly with.

Good luck with the Nazis!

Like you got a bit scared with do's an dont's but now eat most things except Brie. each time you find a food page there is anew do not eat food. The BBC recepie page for pregnant veggies had 'brandy soaked prawns with chilie'?? Feel that the more you avoid things the higher chance of the child developing an allergy. Still love my baths but not too hot and do eat most things but not every day. To conceive I went through the shag whenever and see what happens to the shag every day for a week when I thought I was ovulating to shag every 2 or 3 days throughout the month (that seemed to do it but ya never know). It is very fustrating when you think of people that shag once and get pregnant but try not to get stressed as that does not help. Took about 5 months for the pill to be out of my system so really don't stress as it will hopefully happen in the end. Enjoy the journey and best of luck xx

i had my daughter 6 years ago and when i fell pg with this bump i searched what i was and wasnt allowed religiously to my hubbys moaning lol and eventually went do you know what so much has been 'banned' since i had my daughter that i ate with her and she's perfect so i think i'll just do what feels right for me :D so iv had some soft cheese, iv had cough sweets for my cold :( iv ate pineapple :O im a maverick lol but at the end of the day im 18 weeks and doing well so i feel it comes down to personal opinion :) xx

He he gave me a laugh did that last post. Really cant imaging a man giving up his beer etc. I think peanuts are ok now, I asked when pregnant 6 six years ago and it was basically a trial to see if allergies went down. I carried on eating nuts inc peanuts and although my son did have mild asthma and eczema I think that was more to do with family traits, he has two half sisters both with childhood asthma. He has grown out of it now as have his sisters.
Pate and soft cheese can contain bacteria which is harmful to baby. I didnt find it a problem giving these up tho. Eggs as long as hard boiled are fine, as is mayo from supermarkets as it is pasturised.

I think the best thing is to relax and enjoy ttc and not to worry too much when pregnant. Common sense is usually all that is needed. How is the TTC going? Have you got pregnant yet??

Oh that wasnt the last post about men giving up beer lol. Sorry baby brain.

I did everything I normally do before TTC. The only thing different was taking folic acid (I took pregnacare's conception).

Go with your gut instinct. As older colleagues said to me, they never had any of this advice when they were expecting and their 'little ones' turned out fine.

For me personally, I don't drink alcohol (never drank that much but now have cravings for it!), don't eat soft-boiled eggs, raw seafood such as prawns, sushi, cockles, mussels and soft cheeses (although philadelphia cheeses is fine). I've found that I have an aversion to some foods now that I'm 16 weeks almost, so it doesn't bother me that I can't eat some types of food. I eat what I want at the time I am hungry!

I've gone off all meat except chicken but I can only have small portions and cheese. The only thing I miss is my soft-boiled egg from our chickens!

This kind of Op makes me really sad, and I feel really sorry for you. I never worried about anything. I ate anything I wanted. I had a glass of wine from time to time, one or two, over the pregnancy. I did a heated in the oven canembert. I only took folic acid for the first bit, and didn't alwyas remember every day.
All this, you can't eat strawberries and you can't do this and that. I think it is OTT.

Pregnancy ios supposed to be enjoyable , you know. Its not supposed to be constant worrying, or constant paranoia, of 'oh my god, there was peanut in that desert that I've just eaten at a posh restaurant'.
have we heard ourselves? Becasue when you actually think about it, it is beyond ridiculous.
WE are MADE to worry, more than we need to.

I'm sorry, but are we advocating carrying around a small book, in your handbag, listing the foods we can and can't eat in pregnancy, now ?
Is this what we are actually advising. I find this very hard to acccept.

If we actually listed the REAL foods to avoid, they would be VERY VERY few.

If you like soft cheeses try Boursin, it's pasterurised and if stored safely is of no worse risk than milk.

Who eats raw prawns, cockles and mussels???

I was told to eat less cheddar cheese because it can be harmful, is this true?

During my pregnancy Ive had a few drinks, eaten everything I used to eat beforehand and even suffered a bout of food poisoning and at 37weeks baby is a little powerhouse of kicks and squirms and hiccups!
I totally dont understand this obsession about peanuts and seafood - if theres something that seems dodgy fair enough dont have it, the same way you wouldnt if you werent preg.
I went off tea and coffee in my first tri but happily wanted them again eventually :) your body tells you what to avoid, theres certainly no need for "government regulations" or whatever.
If my parents generation survived amongst heavy smokers and drinkers Im bloody sure ours should!!
The kind of thing I think we should worry about are vaccines and excessive additive packed processed foods/soft drinks.

Cheddar - seriously?!