I hope this isn't too harsh, but to play devil's advocate, don't you think you are being judgmental, assuming that masses of pregnant women are blindly following guidance that they don't understand? And your 'feminist' argument misses the mark, putting the responsibility fully on practitioners for providing us with information that we are all capable of seeking out ourselves. As parents-to-be, we are the ones who are ultimately responsible for the wellbeing of our DC, and we should feel compelled to inform ourselves beyond what practitioners can provide us with during hurried 10-minute appointments.
That being said, I'm sorry that you seem to be surrounding by bitchy, judgmental women. They sound miserable, and I would try my best to ignore them. You sound intelligent enough to do the research for yourself and make your own informed decisions about what you will and won't do during your pregnancy. There is a wealth of information - some better than others - online and in pregnancy and parenting books. You may want to start with those recommended by the NCT.
On the flip side, like cardamomginger, I am tired of taking flack for choosing to avoid things. For example, at 22 weeks, I can't tell you how many people have tried to convince me to have a drink. I have done the research, made my own decision, and have chosen not to drink whilst pregnant for a number of reasons. It doesn't bother me if I see a pregnant woman having a small glass of wine because it is ultimately her choice, but I don't understand why some people are so bothered - to the point of almost seeming offended - that my choice is not to drink. I resent the assumption that I must be the one blindly following some guidance that I don't thoroughly understand.
But I'm afraid it comes with the territory. As you?ll soon learn, everyone is full of advice about TTC, pregnancy, and parenting. A lot of this is bad or misguided advice, and you'll have to get used to taking it with a grain of salt. I try to keep in mind that it is normally well intentioned and respond politely. Some advice is based on fairly black and white evidence (like the harmful effects of smoking or drinking excessively whilst pregnant), but many are grey areas and open to personal interpretation.
By the way, you might be surprised at how you feel about some of the things you?ve mentioned when your body starts to change. For example, regarding your comment about ladders, it seems ridiculous to you now, but with a bigger bump, your centre of gravity changes and things that you never thought twice about before do become bigger risks (as I realised last week whilst attempting to clean the tops of some very high cabinets, which I will not do again whilst pregnant). Also ? and most importantly ? you will start to feel differently about some of these things once you are pregnant and it hits you just how much your personal decisions will impact another human being for whom you are now fully responsible. You probably feel that to some degree now, but for many of us that feeling becomes much more intense once the situation feels more ?real? ? like when you see your baby during a scan, or when you feel his or her first movements.
In any case, good luck with your decisions and with TTC!