Advice you would give new mums

[onadietcokebreak]

Several of my friends are pregnant at the moment and have been asking for advice. It made me think about what advice I would find useful to receive.

Birth- have confident in yourself and try and keep active. As soon as your meet your baby it will soon be forgotten.

End your birth announcement "we will let you know when we are ready for visitors" but don't forget to text when you are actually ready otherwise you will feel like Billy no mates!

Read baby books with a massive pinch of salt!

A oven extractor fan is fantastic at soothing a baby.

What advice would you give?

Spend as much time as possible alone in the loo and bath while pregnant.

It will be 3 years before you are alone in either again.

Spend the first six weeks in bed or taking it very easy and following your baby's lead. Feed and gaze, feed and gaze. Clean your teeth and shower should be as much as you could hope to achieve during this time. Anything else is a bonus.
At 6 weeks it becomes slightly easier. And at 12 weeks a little more so.
Days 1 & 2 you are pumped full of adrenaline and can take on the World. Have close friends and family visit then. Days 3 & 4 you will feel dreadful. Day 7 you will probably cry, wonder what you've done and feel overwhelmed with reponsibility. A lot of this is a response to the massive 'high' of childbirth (all those hormones surging - and coming down). Coupled with tiredness, it is hard, it is normal! Be kind to yourself, plenty of time to be SuperMun over the rest of your life.
Cheap cotton pants a size bigger than normal are far more comfortable than disposable ones.
HTH

Enjoy this pregnancy- indulge your self in relaxation. Next pregnancy you won't be the same with older sibling!

Talk to your mother and mother in law about their childrearing history while you are pregnant. Not labour so much as feeding and the really early days.

Then consider how these experiences might colour the advice they give you once the baby is here.

And: if your baby has jaundice, keep getting advice.

If possible get DH/DP to take as much time off work as possible.
I had an emcs and fortuantly DH had 4 weeks booked off work.
It made life so much easier for me... I looked after the baby whilst DH walked dog, food shopping, cooking, bringing me drinks, housework and looking after DD whilst I showered or had a sleep.
By the time he went back to work i felt ready to deal with being on my own and tackling other stuff other than looking after DD but I needed that help in the first few weeks til I found my feet.

Set up a changing area at a height that won`t give you backache.
Get loads of proper storage sorted for toys ,clothes etc.
start online shopping for food

White noise, however delivered. Record it on a tape or ipod to save turning on fans/ hairdriers/ hovers all the time.

Remember pregnancy on prepares you for giving birth.
If Milkandmore deliver in your area sign up. You can order emergency supplies of milk and bread up to 9 pm at night to be on your doorstep the next morning.
DH may have a wobble and find the sense of responsibility too much. (often shows itself by getting drunk one night!)

Don't be too hard on yourself. There will always be something which contradicts what you are doing - be it how you are feeding (look at this week's report on breastfeeding as an example), what you should be doing, what your baby should be doing. Go with your instincts. In the vast majority of cases they will be right. This applies btw, whether you are pregnant, have a newborn, a preschooler or a teenager.

Keep your baby in romper/sleepsuits for the first 6 months.

Never never compare your baby to anyone elses. They're all so different. Plus it's perfectly acceptable and your damn right to sit sobbing over your new-born with your boobs hanging out like Jabba the Hut for at least the first month. Sobbing, I might add with a mixture of overwhelming love and pride and because your hormones are a bit sh*t.

Completely agree with post about baby books - have a look but really don't plan your life around them.

Set up your feeding area for day and night feeds carefully in advance. Make sure you have a good supply of your chosen snacks, water or drinks to hand, a big pile of trashy novels (nothing too taxing or serious,you won't be able to follow it due to tiredness and anything too sad will make you cry, magazines will be to big to hold with one hand) the TV remote (if applicable), a low-wattage reading lamp for night feeds, and a laptop/net book/iPad for Mumsnet!

The one thing I would say is don't listen to horror stories. People told me all sorts, from how awful my hospital was, to how people would be awful to me about FF, to how I would have a terrible labour, a baby crying all night in hospital while I was alone and clueless, you will never sleep again, you will spend your life covered in sick etc...

I spent my pregnancy a nervous wreck! I would regularly cry to DH about it all...

And... The hospital was lovely, no one batted an eyelid about my FF, she didn't make a peep the while first night...

But the point is, it wouldn't matter if it did all happen! I got DD and was in such a loved up daze that none of it would have mattered anyway.

Don't compare yourself or your baby with others and take other parents' boasting with a pinch of salt.

Don't keep rushing to the next step, they grow so quickly. Enjoy the early baby months.