irrational fear of mc at 11+5

[nicolamumof3]

heard three stories today of mc's at between 11-14weeks. I am now petrified

Had early scan at 8+3 as was a nervous wrek all perfect for dates saw and heard heartbeat.

next scan is 17th Jan..hope i can wait that long. So so hard. This is dc4 so goodness knows why im this worried

I had an early scan for my current pregnancy following an EP. They told me that when you have seen a heartbeat the chances of MC are very, very slender 1 or 2%. Sadly those you have heard about are likely to be MCs which happened before the pregnancies were viable (and risk of MC was therefore around 25%).

Always hard not to worry when you hear these stories, however experienced you are I'd imagine.

Thank you mrs C that does help. One story i heard tho today lady had had her 12week scan all perfect last week..so very sad. Will try and concentrate on the positive. Im so neurotic this time. Think more access to internet than i had 4yrs ago. not always a good thing!!

I'd never say that fear of a MC is irrational. I've spent my whole pregnancy worrying about LO. I'm 28+4 and this is my first pregnancy and I worry daily. I hear stories of women who have lost their babies late in pregnancy and I worry that could be me. I think the reason I fear it so much is because my baby is so defenceless and in many ways if anything happens it will be completely out of my control. It is a scary thought.

However, we both have to focus on positives and try and enjoy our pregnancies. I think I didn't start to enjoy my pregnancy until I was past 20 weeks and could feel her move regularly. A girl I went to school with is due about a week before me and she announced her pregnancy on facebook at 6 weeks, I was quite of how confident she was that nothing would go wrong. I was 18 weeks before I updated my status with anything baby related.

nicola, don't know whether this will help or hinder, but I always think that once I get past the first trimester there are still risks but they are the same risks that will be there throughout my children's lives. So, in later pregnancy I worry about losing the baby, in the first year of life I worry about cot death, after that I worry about them running into the road, when they're teenagers I'll worry about all the things that teenagers do..... and on it goes. My mum still worries about my oldest brother who rides a motorbike. He's 45.

What I mean is that there will always be a level of risk, there will always be some poor people who experience terrible sadness but it's no more than the level of risk we live with every day, every time we get into a car or step outside the door (or even stay at home).

Worrying is just part of the deal. I think that when we're pregnant and have children we become hyper-aware of risk, which has an evolutionary purpose because it means we're on full alert to any possible dangers. Unfortunately, it also means we get lots of grey hairs and, personally speaking, become slightly deranged at times. (I still remember a friend putting a mobile 'phone up to DD1's ear when she was a baby and me shrieking and lurching across the table to get it away from her in case her brain was fried by the mobile signal .)

I won't say relax, because you can't, but I hope that you enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

Thank you have decided to relax now as much as I can. Doesn't help that my 12 week scan delayed but trying not to focus on that!!