Childrens age-gaps

[Dozeyland]

What age gaps did/do you have between your children, and :

how did you/do you cope?
Best and worst bits if any?

....

I am 18 weeks pregnant and this one is due 2 weeks before my only sons 15th birthday!

I have 4 years 1 month between DS1 and DS2. Am pg with DC3 and will have 3 year 10 month gap. I planned the large gap second time round as it worked so well for us.

I love that the older one is more independent and able to do things for themselves, feed, dress etc. I also liked the fact that DS1 was in nursery so I had some time with the baby myself.

DC1 and DC2 there is a two and half year gap. This was good. DC1 old enough to entertain self a bit when new baby arrived and to also 'help'. As they have grown up they have been good company for each other and still get on well now at the age of 9 and 7.

DC2 and DC3. There is a five and half year gap. This was not planned, I would have prefered a smaller gap. Advantages the older two could play in garden and in rooms while I bf the baby. They can also take themselves off to bed on own if baby playing up and so on - in that way easier. BUT a big gap can make family trips out tricky to keep everyone happy... However, the older two are so sweet and kind and loving to DC3 that it is lovely to watch.

I am 41 weeks today and my only other child was 13 two weeks ago.

There are 12 and a half years between DS 1 and 2 - had forgotten loads but it does come back. Older, wiser and less prepared to put up with other people telling me what to do!
The good bits: DS1 was a great help, particularly as I had to have a c-section. He didn't ask me to pick him up and carry him, either - I have no idea how you lot who have toddlers and are pg manage that one - hats off to you!
Bad things: it's like having 2 only children - they have nothing in common and do wind each other up a bit.

When #2 arrives in Feb, DD will be 23mo. I am terrified slightly worried....

My DD will be 26 months when DC2 arrives. Like debka its, erm, worrying me a little!

I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant and have a dd who is almost 10 years old. She has been really amazing throughout the pregnancy - really excited and wanting to be involved in everything. I have always tried to make her feel involved as much as possible, but I was a little suprised when she announced in the middle of the supermarket that we could buy toys "when OUR baby is born"! A little bit weird sounding, but a really lovely way for her to be thinking.

The benefits are that she has helped enourmously, from putting my socks on for me in the mornings to fetching and carrying shopping from the car when I'm tired. It has also been a real pleasure to have someone to talk to about it who is just as excited as I am!

I agree with MrsColumbo though - it does feel rather like having two only children - although DS has yet to arrive and annoy DD, she has grown up as an only child.

12 months age gap - hard hard work for the first couple of years, now great as they are good buddies and evenly matched.

4 year age gap - easy peasy, but DS2 and 3 now aged 6 and 2 might as well be from differnt planets, so different are their interests....

2 year age gap - toddler and new baby, again hard going, but improving now that DS4 is over 9months.

IMO all age gaps have good and bad aspects to them and some of the challenges will depend on the individual children as well.

Having said that, I would not go out of my way to recommend the 12 months gap...

2 years 9 months between dd and ds1, was quite hard work, dd still very reliant on me which was difficult when ds1 bfing, also as he got older she was talking over me and him all the time which made some things a little tricky. On the other hand they played really nicely together (dd also used to refer to ds1 as 'our baby') and have similar interests for toys and days out. Although now they are older I think ds1 is actually closer to ds2.

3years 9 months between ds1 and ds2 which is a lovely age gap I think. DS1 was at playschool while I was pg some mornings so I got a little break and could rest. Once ds2 was born we had the summer hols and then ds1 started school when ds2 was just over 4 months (ds1 august baby) which meant I had all day just me and the new baby to give him all my time and attention, almost like having the first baby again but then all the benefits of having siblings out of school hours! The boys share a room and despite the age gap are unbelievably close, cuddle and comfort each other all the time, play really nicely (still argue but then cuddle and make up very quickly) and are lovely to watch together. DD an ds2 are quite close and do cuddle lots and she builds train tracks for him but not as close although this I think is partly due to her being 10 and thinking she is a teenager already and too cool to play!! Downsides though are days out are quite difficult, ds2 cannot and does not want to do the things the older 2 do and this stops us doing things we might otherwise, its getting better now hes getting older though.

Am now pg with dc4 and age gap will be 4 years 3 months, again baby will be born just a few months before ds2 starts school so looking forward to that. However slightly worried now as the age gap between dd and dc4 will be 10 years and with ds1 will be nearly 8 so I wonder how close they will be and how much this will hold us back from doing things for them. It also means I will have spent 13 years of my life running around after either a baby or toddler which is a long time! At least if they'd been closer together I'd be finished with nappies and tantrums by now!!

DS1 and DS2 2 and a half years.
DS3 and DC4 2 and a half years. ( due July. Perfect age gap IMO.)

Between DS2 and DS3 8 years.

4 years and it is perfect! No more children for us