Really need some advice..

[Charleney]

Hello, where do i start..

Went for 20 week scan on tuesday and was told my baby boy isnt growing properly, hes 2 weeks behind what he should be. So i had to go back to the hospital yesterday for another scan with a consultant.
She told me my heart is not pumping blood into my placenta properly, basically bloody is only going in when my heart is pumping out but should be a constant flow, which it isnt at the minute.
I was told my baby only has a 10% chance of survival at the minute and i was offered a termination there and then.
I refused as i really do have faith that he'll be ok.

Just want to know if anyone else has heard of or been through the same thing? Also want to know really how bad this is and if things could look up for him? Hes still kicking and wriggling around constantly so thats keeping me going at the minute but im worried sick cause i really dont know whats going to happen.

Charleney - I am very sorry for your news. I think I have an idea of how you feel, having been told at 22 weeks that my DS2 had IUGR (wasn't growing) the underlying cause of this was different from yours but the worry and confusion I imagine similar.

My DS was initially given survival odds of less than 10% and not long after we were told his condition was in fact imcompatible with life and we lost him.

This is a hard time for you, so try to be kind to yourself. If you can get and afford another scan then that may be help you but TBH if you have another scan arranged for 23 December then I would imagine you will get a clearer picture then.

Regarding some of the other posts, I agree with Lulu.

LunaticFringe thankyou, was your baby ok after everything?

I am taking 1 a day for now. She didnt mention any of the other alternatives.

Thankyou, i will have a search on here then. I didnt want to google it as i would be driving myself insane with it.

Yes they did do doppler scans on both sides.

So if i get past 24 weeks then thats a good sign?

nancy im very sorry for your loss. Thankyou for sharing your story with me.

At the minute im just keeping my fingers crossed that things have picked up a bit for my next scan. I suppose not really much else i can do until then.

consultants do not give such poor odds of survival on a whim, I do honestly feel that you should call the consultatn's secretary first thing monday or take steps first thing to have a different obstetrician and get some reassurance/practical steps and everything explained especially now more things have been suggested on this thread
I am desperately sorry you are going through this

nancy< i am very sorry for your loss

Im so sorry to hear what you are going through. It brought back a lot of memories for me. At my 20 week scan I was told my baby was 3 weeks behind and like you we were offered a termination as the outlook was bleak. We said no to the termination and hoped for the best. My waters went at 21 weeks and I was in and out of hospital with bleeding but the baby hung on but was growing very very slowly. We never gave up hope and our baby hung on until 34+3 when he was born asleep at 750g. Im sorry if this is not the sort of reply you were hoping for.

If i was given a time machine and went back to the offer of the termination I think I would still say no as the time we spent looking at and holding our baby is very precious to us.

I will be thinking of you over the next few weeks and hope that you get a happy ending