Ante natal Depression - Advice Needed

[LisMcA]

A close friend of mine is due in April 2 weeks before me. She has had a really tough time of it and I need to know how to help her.

This is her second DC (DS is 3) and it was a bit unexpected. She had been on anti depressants for post natal depression when she found out and had to stop taking them. Her OH doesn't seem to realise that there is anything wrong and that this is usual for mums to be. I know it's not. I had a tough first trimester but what she's been through is awful. She has picked up every cold and bug going. She is hardly sleeping, and feels as if everything is against her.

I did think she was getting over the worst a couple of weeks ago as she seemed brighter and more like her old self but today I had her sobbing down the phone. She is so tired she has almost stopped functioning.

The only thing I could say to her was it will all be ok and to speak to her GP or MW, but felt that this was just a cop out.

Is there anyone out there who can give me some advice on what to do to help her?

There are antidepressants that are safer to take during pregnancy. Did me a world of good. I was being treated for recurrent major depression for about 14 years before I got pregnant and also thought I had to stop my ADs. It was a big mistake and I shouldn't have quit. My MW was useless, but the GP got me a referral to community mental health which initially was very scary. But once I got back on some ADs I very quickly realised they were just trying to help me, not scrutinising me and looking for reasons to take the baby away (sounds bizarre now, but that's what I thought).

Really hope your friend is ok, I think encouraging her to get to the GP, and maybe talking to her OH about how concerned you are?

Encourage her to go to her GP - maybe offer to take her there if she's really struggling?

There are anti-depressants that can be taken during pregnancy. Keeping severe depression under control outweighs the tiny risks according to Motherisk (international experts on drugs in pregnancy).

Also, she may need encouragement and practical suggestions to get the help she needs with her DC and at home if she's feeling really ill with the pregnancy.

Could you help her out at home at all? Sounds like she needs practical help and to get some sleep!

My GP was pretty unsympathetic when I said I didn't want to take anti-ds (have had them before to little effect, they don't work for everyone). So I got in touch with the supervisor of midwives at the hospital and now I'm being looked after by the perinatal mental health team. I'm still suffering, but I get to see someone each week now who checks that I'm not going under - has been a massive help.

Thanks Ladies for your posts. It's comforting to know there are things and people out there to help her.

She called her GP this morning and has an appointment on Monday. She knows what she needs to do, but I think she was in a bit of denial about it all.

Thanks again

Sorry to come into this late but I just wanted to say how lovely that you are seeking the right way to help her. I was so embarrassed about having depression with my first pregnancy and thought no-one would understand. I took Fluoxetine from 12 weeks til DS was nearly 1. It helped me so much and enabled me to enjoy the latter part of the pregnancy and the first few months of being a Mum. I'm now pregnant with my second and back on the same tablets at a slightly higher dose. After 12 weeks on tablets and some great support from the comunity health team I feel much better and am beginning to enjoy life again. You are a great friend for supporting her through this. I hope she gets the help she needs soon. x