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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Getting pregnant as you return to work?[fconfused]

24 replies

Arabella36 · 02/12/2010 12:29

Has anyone else become pregnant as you returned to work following mat leave? How did it work out for you?

I'm a little worried about this as am planning to do this myself. I would like to leave a longer time so I could concentrate more on work after my first child but I'm not of an age where I have much fertility time to play with. Worried that colleagues will be pissed off. Until now have always concentrated on my career. But don't want an only child.

I'm posting this because it's been playing on my mind as I do take my job seriously. Not worried about mat pay entitlements, more the reaction of colleagues and the fear that I could be unlucky and have bad pregnancy nausea which could impact on my work!

Really want to TTC but worry worry. . .

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Guacamohohohole · 02/12/2010 12:31

I've been thinking about this too... So watching with interest. To be honest I think it's fairly common.

ecuse · 02/12/2010 12:36

No personal experience, but I would imagine it's not uncommon. In some ways, they'll probably assume you want more than one whether you do or not, so from the moment you go back until the day you tell them you're pregnant again they'll be waiting for it. Which would be really irritating if you didn't want another one!

In some ways, from their perspective, if you have them close together it "gets it over with" so, in total there'll be less time when you're "unreliable" or whatever they might uncharitably think! (i.e. you'll get two lots of pregnancy and ML over in 4 years rather than 6)

pinkpeony · 02/12/2010 12:42

I became pregnant 6 months after returning to work following mat leave - worse still, had started new job in new company. But was 37 (38 now) and didn't want DS to be only child, and didn't know how long TTC could take. As it turned out, got pregnant first try (BFP the day DS turned 1!). So will have been in new job 14-15 mths when have to go on mat leave again. People got used to it here and I think understand that at my age one doesn't want to delay these things a long time, and the only downside for me is I won't be able to take too long a mat leave (am due end of Jan) as want to show my commitment and be taken seriously in new job.

pinkpeony · 02/12/2010 12:45

Also have been really lucky this time around as no nausea or bad pregnancy symptoms at all (only tiredness) so have not had to take a day off work because of pregnancy. So basically nothing has changed for me at work being pg other than having to take mat leave soon.

Original poster

Arabella36 · 02/12/2010 12:51

Thanks for the replies. Am glad to hear you didn't have much nausea second time round peony; Hope it works out like that for me! I've also been wonderiing if I'll feel obliged to take less mat leave this time.

Ecuse, it is quite reassuring to imagine that work will expect me to want more than one child and so be less pissed off than if it was a surprise!

Guaca - what are your plans if I can ask?

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fallingandlaughing · 02/12/2010 14:57

One of my colleagues did this. I thought she came back with baby weight - she was 3 months pregnant! Everyone was fine with it (to the best of my knowledge) and very happy for her.

Chynah · 02/12/2010 15:59

i returned to work 20 weeks pregnant and left again on maternty leave with no2 2 months later. you are entitled to a second full period of maternity leave and this may be paid as long as you fit certain criteria (HMRC website is very helpful).

laurz75 · 02/12/2010 16:06

I returned to work and fell pregnant very soon after (my ds was only 11 months!). We hadn't expected to conceive on first try as had had some struggles first time round!I'm a teacher and everyone was fine with it (as far as I know anyway).

Carikube · 02/12/2010 16:12

I took a full year's mat leave with DD1; I actually got pg with DD2 very quickly so by the time my bank holidays and annual leave had been added on to my 1st mat leave, I was only 1 week away from my due date . Obviously I just took back-to-back mat leaves and by the time I'm due back, I will have been off for over 2 years.

I'm lucky in that I have a brilliant employer; I haven't had any negative comments (though who knows what has been said in my absence!?) though when I announced my second pg, my MD said that he wasn't surprised as I am "getting on a bit" .

In some ways it's been easier for them having me off for a long time rather than going back/going off/going back again...

Original poster

Arabella36 · 02/12/2010 19:15

Thank you for those messages, it sounds as though this situation is more common than I realised which is reassuring!

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NonnoMum · 02/12/2010 19:22

I had a quick turn around between two of mine.

Colleagues etc were fine, but there was a complaint from a parent about me "choosing to have my family in quick succession" (and all the extra stuff would have to be done by someone else). Was gutted and completely devastated for a whole morning... But don't let that stop you!

SKYTVADDICT · 02/12/2010 19:26

I went back to work after mat leave 12 weeks pregnant - had had the scan the day before! I worked a few months then went on mat leave again. I was made redundant before going back the second time but it was more by mutual consent!

MistressMaker · 02/12/2010 19:30

I did this.

Returned in September and was pregnant by October. After a year off!!

I'm sure there will be plenty of narky comments about doing it and I got a few faces. But, my thought process was that I'd been there for four years, had no intention of leaving any time soon and returned during a quiet period. Given that I planned to have a second at some point I couldn't see what difference it made to them if I waited another year or two.

I also felt that, at the end of the day, they couldn't guarantee my job security so why put it off on the basis that my job would still be there?

Second baby is 5 months now and I (along with the rest of the organisation) am getting my redundancy notice next week. I am very, very glad I went for it when we did, as I think we would have ended up with a far bigger age gap than we wanted if I'd waited, then got made redundant, then had to get another job.

So no regrets!

Guacamohohohole · 03/12/2010 08:28

My plans are to TTC when DS is 1 which will coincide with my return to work. I know one particular colleague will be very arsey about it because that's the way she is (she doesn't agree with maternity leave full stop), all of my other colleagues are men and actually I think they'll be fine about it. I'll be 34 so I don't really want to wait too long.

Cyclebump · 03/12/2010 09:50

I know many people who have started TTC while on ml with DC1.

Quite frankly, having a pg employee is never ideal for an employer but it's something that has to be dealt with in a modern workplace. If they're a professionally run organisation they should be able to handle it.

Original poster

Arabella36 · 03/12/2010 10:12

These are reassuring replies, thanks! I can't believe I actually feel guilty about having a couple of babies, ha ha!
Guaco - I'm in exactly the same situation as you - age, length of first mat leave etc. Good luck to you. Will you feel that you shouldn't take a year for next baby? I think I'd like to but would feel awkward.

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festivefriedawhingesagain · 03/12/2010 10:16

I went back after Mat Leave and waited about 6 weeks before getting pregnant again.

Took a year off the second time too, it was lovely. I would love another Mat Leave but not sure I am up to another baby

Guacamohohohole · 03/12/2010 12:42

I think I might think... 'I can't possibly take another year off' whilst at work... But the moment my maternity leave starts think 'sod that I'm having a year with this baby too!'.

AppleAndBlackberry · 03/12/2010 12:47

I was pregnant when I went back and am just about to start my second maternity leave. I work for a large company and they were fine about it. I think it's reasonably common to announce pregnancy within the first few months of returning now that maternity leave is a year.

LisasCat · 03/12/2010 13:50

One thing I would suggest is that, if it's a small employer whose cash flow could be seriously affected by paying maternity, have the decency to be honest with them. While I agree that large corporations take this in their stride as a matter of 21st century employment logistics, there are still a lot of small businesses out there who struggle if someone takes maternity leave. My uncle employs 4 people. At one point there were 2 women on maternity, one for the second time. It almost cost him his business, and therefore the livelihoods of the other staff.

Original poster

Arabella36 · 03/12/2010 15:11

Is a very large company

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yellowflowers · 03/12/2010 15:46

I am thinking about this though am a couple of weeks away from baby no 1 arriving so who knows how I will feel in a year's time. But I have worked there for 6 years so feel they owe me anyway, and they wouldn't hesitate to screw me over if they had to for budget reasons, like most employers.

trixie123 · 03/12/2010 21:12

you just need to check your dates as far as SMP goes. Its calculated on what you earn in the 8 weeks prior to the 15th week before your due date (so my HR manager told me). We worked out that I couldn't get pregnant again until the summer as I wasn't going back after DS1 until Sept. hope thats helps

gemhandley · 03/12/2010 21:57

i returned to work the end of march after 1 year leave and conceived the beginning of april but wasnt planned and infact didnt know til i was 24 weeks. i work for a large retail company and they were very happy for me to be to go off again. But i admit i was terrified of telling them which was silly really.

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