Episiotomy???!!!

[ScarIettOHara]

Ok... I'm new to this. This is my first pregnancy and I'm only about 8 weeks into it... but I've been talking to people about giving birth and starting to feel quite nervous!

I'm only small and I'm worried that I'll tear - or have to be cut. In fact I'm worried about the pain all round. I just wondered if there were any first time mums-to-be who have similar fears?

don't talk to other people unless they'll tell you good stories. everyone is a bit scared of these things, but no way of knowing how the birth will pan out. most first time mums have similar fears. interestingly there is a correlation between the fear it will hurt and how much it does hurt - ie being scared stops your endorphins body's own pain relief) working well.

fwiw i have 3 dc, am quite small did tear the first time, but it healed well and didn't tear 2nd and 3rd time (3rd time didn't even bruise, he came out without any physical trauma to me at all!!!), and i love giving birth, would happily do it every day!!!

suggest you buy natal hypnotheraphy cd and maybe do some reading - suggest ina mays guide the childbirth lots of really good birth stories which make me so calm about it all.

of course you might have a tear or epistiotomy but honestly once you see your little baby lying there it just doesn't matter that much - epistiotomys generally done if baby needs to come out quickly and trust me if thats the case you won't care.

First of all - love your name
Secondly congrats on the impending arrival!
Thirdly don't think too much about the birth now or you'll scare yourself silly over the next 34 weeks or so(!)

You may not tear at all -particularly if you have a water birth IIRC and according to my NCT Ante Natal teachers episiotomies are very much a last resort for midwives.

I have had an episiotomy, and I won't lie and say it wasn't painful but about 2 minutes later I had my little boy in my arms and I didn't care a jot about it.
HTH And good luck with it all

Hi. Congrats with the pregnancy.

Everyone will have a different story to tell. I won't go into full detail about mine, its not that nice but it hasn't put me off having another one as I am pregnant with DC2.

I didn't really want an episiotomy, it was in my birth plan to avoid it if necessary but they only do it if it is necessary.

Bad tears are also quite rare. I think a 3rd degree or worse is about 9% chance, not a lot.

Your size will make no difference to if you tear or not and when you hold your baby, it really really won't matter! Trust me, I didn't give a toss what had happened, all that was important was that my son was ok, which he was.

I had an episiotomy with my first son. No choice - big old head on him. To be honest, I just wanted him born and didn't really feel them cut me. Second time around i tore, but not too bad.

Any pain is forgotten immediately and i am currently trying for a third baby so none of this has put me off a bit.

i know it sounds odd but i kinda enjoyed giving birth .

Try not to stress too much. The birth is one day out of your life and then you have a baby who you will love immensely.

I remember seeing the birth as a brick wall that I would not be able to get past. But in reality the birth is just the begining and there is a wonderful world beyond that wall.

Well worth it. Good luck

It doesn't sound odd Hippy. I quite enjoyed it too, even though friends have cringed when I told them my experience. I still see it as a positive thing.

I had one due to forceps delivery. Very well stitched and healed fine. Didn't give a kick up the arse at the time as the need to get DD out quickly was all I cared about.

When I was expecting DS1,the thought of tearing or an episiotomy made my toes curl, in fact it still does a little bit!

The reality however, when it did have to happen (forceps birth) was that they numbed the area with a 'pudendal block' so I couldn't feel anything. It was fine, I didn't feel it and once stitched I healed really well with no lasting side-effects.

Please don't worry, when it comes to the birth you will just want baby out safely and hopefully you will be one of the lucky ones who doesn't need intevention. No point worrying about it, although I know it's hard not to.

TBH Its very common now as they prefer to do this rather than let tear. I had one and tbh its such a minor thing in light of the whole experience. It stings a bit when they are stitching up but by that time you have your lovely new baby in your arms. Honestly don't worry!

Sorry should have added Congratulations!

crazyplatelady I think it's just such a sense of achievement and such a wonderful moment. Ahhh memories!

Congratulations and wishing you a lovely, smooth delivery! I did have an episiotomy when I had ds (so the theory that my enormous hips would be good for childbirth went out the window - in my case size made no difference!). Anyway, in all the manic, emotional, busy blur of the moment I didn't even feel them do the cut. I promise that is the truth. When I had dd I had a small tear but again the euphoria that my baby was out and I could meet her outweighed the pain of tearing by a million times. Good luck, and dont stress out for the next seven months, what will be will be and at the end of it all there will be your baby.

Thank you ladies!

Feeling much better about it...

(but might consider some hypnotherapy beforehand!)

Thanks again :)

I worried about an episiotomy when having DD1. They are only done if really necessary. DD was a star gazer so coming out forehead first and the midwife suggested an episiotomy as I was tearing. It's not about size, often it's about the position of the baby (and you i.e all fours is best for avoiding tears apparently, but no-one says childbirth is galmourous)At the time I didn't think twice and I had my beautiful baby girl in my arms moments later. Everything healed fine.

Try not to worry, stay as calm as you can and enjoy an uneventful pregnancy! Don't read scare stories, there are alway loads of these but you miss the millions of straight forward wonderful births that happen. Maybe go along to something like an active birth class in your last trimester, which may make you feel more prepared for what you can do to help the birth of your child.

Congratulations!

I had an episiotomy with DD and I can honestly say that I did not feel it at all! Given the choice I would rather have that than tear. I think it heals and repairs better.

My DD was in a good position and it wasn't an emergency situation but I simply couldn't push her out! The cut was done to help me out and I have to say that I was very grateful for it.

Congratulations

I believe I was given some sort of local anaesthetic when I had my episiotomy. I didn't feel them cut me, and felt tugging when they stitched me up, but no pain.

Also, it didn't hurt when DS crowned, so for me, it wasn't too bad.
Everything healed fine, and keeping the wound clean isn't too difficult.

Try to relax about it. I remember reading about them and being but it wasn't so bad.

In the end, all you'll care about is you wee baby :)

hey there
just wanted to add that later on in your pregnancy you could try perineal massage which helps to soften the area, prepare the perineum for birth and decrease the likelihood of tearing.
cheers
paisleypark

Just to add what others have said, I had one, was scared witless when I saw him get out the equipment, but actually didn't feel it. And suddenly, there she was, out!

The downside was that while my bits were all being put back together I didn't really feel able to hold her, so other half got that pleasure first, but actually that was perfect. Watching him fall in love with her was the best distraction from what the other people in the room were doing to me at that point.

Thanks! I am expecting my first as well and I am also very scared about the Episiotomy. I think all the comments do make me feel better.

I had an eopsiotomy two weeks ago (with forceps) and can also honestly say it was and is fine. I was given injections to numb the area, the upside of which meant I didn't feel her crown.
I couldn't push her out and was exhausted, hence the need for an assisted delivery but at that point, all I wanted was for her to be safe and sound. I needed to carry on using the gas and air while they stitched me but in hindsight I can see that using that was a psychological aid more than for any actual pain relief it gave as I was locally anthetised anyway!

I also ignored all the advice and got a mirror out to have a look yesterday, steeling myself for some horrendous massacre scene. Actually, there's no evidence there at all and you honestly wouldn't know I've had anything done at all.

Congrats and enjoy your pregnancy - I already miss being pregnant and am thinking about the next one so it really does show it can't be all that bad. More than anything, I feel pretty smug and proud of myself at having given birth!