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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

How many people REALLY don't mind what gender?

85 replies

eth37 · 02/08/2010 16:08

I am newly pg with DC2 and am already sick of people saying 'Ooo you'll be hoping for a girl this time then'. I have the most wonderful little boy, and take this personally for him! I'm also annoyed as if I am having another boy, I feel like everyone will go 'aaww. She must be disappointed' whereas actually, I really don't care!! It is a new child who I will love regardless! Loads of my friends paid for private gender scans with their first babies, all were desperate for girls. Am I abnormal, or does anyone else actually not mind at all?!

OP posts:

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thisisyesterday · 02/08/2010 16:09

nope, i didn't mind AT ALL. i have 3 boys

notnowbernard · 02/08/2010 16:10

Am pg with 3rd and truly, truly, truly do not care. Have 2 dds

Really wish people would believe me when I tell them this

Wilts · 02/08/2010 16:11

I have two boys and will be ttc towards the end of next year and don't mind at all what we have.

Poledra · 02/08/2010 16:12

I didn't mind AT ALL either. I have 3 girls

I thought DH minded just a leetle that we didn't have a boy. However, he seen lots of very ill babies in his line of work, and he says he really does not care what sex the children are, just that they are healthy.

PJen · 02/08/2010 16:12

My mom loved to have boys. She ended up with one boy and two girls. She confesses that at our births when she found out it is a girl she either passed out or cried. Me and sister are normal happy successful people and my brother turned out an extreme disappointment ruining my mom's life and she is still suffering from his actions. I don't mind the gender. I found out I am having a girl and I am happy. I would be happy if it was a boy too. Who cares? As long as they are healthy and are good people with nice personality...

ChasingSquirrels · 02/08/2010 16:14

ds1 - really didn't mind when pg, didn't find out, was actually quite upset when he wasn't a girl.
ds2 - really wanted a girl when pg, didn't find out, refused to check sex after giving birth (was a bba) until dh rang 999 and they asked the sex, had a moment of "oh, a boy", then immediately fell in love, and have never since cared about his gender.
I do feel a girl shaped hole in my family though.

Rockbird · 02/08/2010 16:15

I absolutely really didn't mind with DD. Was convinced she was a boy but it was a feeling, not a preference. Now we're ttc2 and I've pictured both scenarios and again have no preference. I only have a brother and we're very close so I can't even use 'it would be nice to have a sister' 'cos I never had one.

Clothes wise it would be easier with another girl but that's it.

Original poster

eth37 · 02/08/2010 16:22

Oh good. Glad I'm not alone. I really feel among my friends, that girls are seen as somehow 'desired'. I can see myself with either two boys or one of each. I don't mind. We didn't find out last time and won't this time either. I hope we have three children and can't see I'd mind with a 3rd either. Grrr, really annoys me though!! MIL is already harping on about having a grand-daughter!

OP posts:

Kiki84 · 02/08/2010 16:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ArseyMum · 02/08/2010 16:55

Yes its offensive and insulting that people say things like that, and I think even worse when if you say you don't mind they don't believe you.

I do feel really sad for the baby when parents hope for one sex and then get another. Somebody I know with two DSs was really hoping for a girl and had the whole of her church praying for her to have one!!

Having said that people can't help how they feel, take me for example-
First time didn't really mind leaned slightly for a girl, got a girl
Second time really really hoped for a girl, got a boy
Third time, didn't really mind but again leaned slightly for a girl, got a girl.

Found out what a was having each time just because I couldn't wait to find out.

ChasingSquirrels · 02/08/2010 16:57

why feel sorry for them? do you feel sorry for your boy?

I REALLY REALLY wanted a girl with dc2, I couldn't possible love him more.

Original poster

eth37 · 02/08/2010 17:05

It just annoys me that you say you don't mind, and still people say things like 'ooo you're much less sick this time - fingers crossed it's a girl sign!' And then, 'I know you say you don't mind, but it would be nice to have one of each, wouldn't it?' I find myself now hoping for a boy, just to not be in the 'one of each' club!! (not really, but I just don't get it.). Don't mind if people have a preference, it's fine, just don't assume I have God, I am obviously v hormonal today!!

OP posts:

Threelittleducks · 02/08/2010 17:05

One ds and one ds on the way.

Thought before I found out what we were having that I minded, but you know what? I don't. Truly don't.

What I really mind are other people's reactions - like because we are having a second boy that it's any less magical That really gets on my nerves!!

Original poster

eth37 · 02/08/2010 17:08

Threelittleducks that's how I feel. I am scared that if I have another boy, people will somehow not think it is as special.

OP posts:

essexgirl31 · 02/08/2010 17:09

I didn't care what sex for either of mine. I have 2DS.

I also find myself surrounded by people who wanted girls and are very vocal about the 'disappointment' of having a boy. It really really annoys me and find myself sticking up for boys. That then makes me sounds like I do mind having 2 boys when I swear I don't. Aaarh!!!

TheOldestCat · 02/08/2010 17:10

Didn't mind one bit with either DC and was bewildered (and a bit pissed off) when pregnant with my second that so many people assumed out loud that we were obviously hoping for a boy since we already had DD. And even if I didn't care, surely DH wanted a boy. (nope, he couldn't care either).

DC2 turned out to be DS, but his gender is the least interesting and relevant part of him - he's our second child. Doesn't stop the comments 'oh you must be so happy to have one of each'. Ummm, no, just happy to have two lovely children, thanks.

KnitterNotTwitter · 02/08/2010 17:15

Having had an ectopic in March this year and a miscarriage two weeks ago I can honestly say that I don't mind what sex my next child is.

Petsville · 02/08/2010 17:45

I really don't mind, never have (38 weeks pg, and we've known it's a boy from 17 weeks). We're not going to have any more, but can't imagine being at all bothered either way if we had a second child. DH would, all things being perfectly equal, have slightly preferred a girl, but I think that's largely because there's less cultural pressure to play football etc with a girl! (DH is not a football fan....)

Ripeberry · 02/08/2010 17:48

As long as they are healthy I don't mind.
If I have a girl and then it's a boy, then I have a pair, if it's another girl then that's a playmate for the first child

I knew someone who had lots of girls (4) and was desperate for a boy, she had him in the end, but he had Downs and was very ill for a time, but in the end she was glad she had him, even though her daughters got 'left out'.

Depends if you will keep trying at all costs?

lowra · 02/08/2010 18:33

Hi everyone, I've just found I'm pregnant with my first and REALLY don't mind what sex it is. It sounds like such a cliche but all I care about is that my baby will be healthy,

Meglet · 02/08/2010 18:34

I was keen on a boy for my first DC, which we had.

But with my second I wasn't bothered and we had DD.

Rocklover · 02/08/2010 19:23

I really don't have a preference at all. Had dd first time round and don't mind what this little one turns out to be. It would be nice to have a boy, but then I've really enjoyed being mummy to a girl, either sex would be lovely.

herjazz · 02/08/2010 19:29

Me! To cap it all I carry both a fatal and life limiting genetic disorder so really don't give a chuff the sex of the baby. Staggering how many people still ask despite knowing this

nagoo · 02/08/2010 19:32

Like Rocklover, but in reverse

ronx · 02/08/2010 19:36

35 weeks pregnant with DC2. Neither DH nor I mind what sex it is. After all, you can't get a refund ...

Both grandmothers are pretending they don't mind if it's a boy, but I know they are lying through their teeth

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