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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

How many people REALLY don't mind what gender?

85 replies

eth37 · 02/08/2010 16:08

I am newly pg with DC2 and am already sick of people saying 'Ooo you'll be hoping for a girl this time then'. I have the most wonderful little boy, and take this personally for him! I'm also annoyed as if I am having another boy, I feel like everyone will go 'aaww. She must be disappointed' whereas actually, I really don't care!! It is a new child who I will love regardless! Loads of my friends paid for private gender scans with their first babies, all were desperate for girls. Am I abnormal, or does anyone else actually not mind at all?!

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teameric · 02/08/2010 19:38

I wasn't bothered either, I have a DS and a DD, but when DD was born people used to say "oh you won't have to have another one now you have one of each"

ivykaty44 · 02/08/2010 19:41

I have two dc the same sex and was over the moon whatever sex they came out It didn't matter and iota

DEPECHEMODEFANISBACK · 02/08/2010 19:42

This reply has been deleted

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addie81 · 02/08/2010 20:06

I really don't mind. The cliche is true - all I care about is that the baby is healthy. Did anyone see that program on channel 4 about people who have 9 boys because they are trying to have a girl. One woman said, and I quote, that not having a girl (with her three healthy boys charging about in the background) was the same for her as people who can't have children at all!

snowmummy · 02/08/2010 20:54

Having had a baby born with a condition that required surgery at 4 months, I find it really sad that people get so upset when they don't get the gender they wanted. Surely, all that matters is that the baby is healthy?

So, to answer your question, no I don't care at all.

mummytosquidgies · 02/08/2010 21:41

With DS I would have liked a girl, but when we found out he was a boy I was so pleased, so I don't think I was that bothered really.

This time we genuinely didn't care either way. We found out at the 20 week scan that it's another boy and we're both over the moon, as we would have been if he was a girl too.

We haven't told most friends and family what sex we're having this time, and most people have decided it must be a girl, and we must really want a girl. Even when we've said we don't care either way they look at us as if they don't believe us. Of course, we've had a boy so we MUST have a girl this time

First thing MIL said when we told her it's a boy was "so when will you be trying again for a girl?" ummm, never! And now she barely speaks about the baby at all, before we found out it was a boy she went on and on about DS having a little sister etc.

Drives me bananas.

gigglet · 02/08/2010 22:59

When I think of the pro's and cons of each, girl comes out on top. But when I think from a more emotional perspective, I'm pretty excited about either.

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 02/08/2010 23:01

I am currently 14 weeks pregnant with DC2 and I wouldn't mind a girl because DC1 is a boy so one of each would be nice but then I wouldn't mind another boy because I know just how gorgeous and scrummy boys can be. So not bothered TBH.

cinnamongreyhound · 03/08/2010 08:26

I was very disappointed when I found out DS was a boy but I think that was because I had convinced myself I was having a girl.

He is a wonderful child who loves his mummy very much. I think there are a lot of negetive thoughts towards boys and as you are female you are expected to want a female.

This time around I really didn't mind, I have seen the joys of having a boy. I had 2 friends who found out within days of me having a scan and one's having a boy and the other a girl. Each time I thought I'd like which ever they were having and I felt then that I would be slightly sad for whichever I wasn't having as my DH doesn't want anymore so this will be my last.

We are having another boy and it is sad to see the look of pity on people's faces when you tell them. I am sad that I will never experience being a mum to a girl and that I can't buy all the pretty things that are in the shops but I'm not very girly and had a very rocky relationship with my mum until I left home. My DS will have a brother which I hope will make them close, I know what I'm doing with boys and I already love this baby to bits and haven't even met him yet

RobynLou · 03/08/2010 08:33

I really don't mind at all, I'm ashamed to admit that if DD had been a boy I would probably be wanting a girl this time, but as she's a she I really just don't mind either way.
I'm sure I would feel differently if she had been a boy, but I always wanted a girl.

lots33 · 03/08/2010 08:59

When I fell pregnant I was over the moon although I did have a slight leaning towards a girl if pushed. My DP had the same leaning towards a boy and we decided not to find out.

At our 20 week scan we found out that our baby had a rare congenital condition that would require surgery at birth. We needed to find out the gender as the implications of the condition are different depending on this. We are now 35 weeks pregnant with our DS.Although the condition is more complicated because it is a boy I have to say that I am over the moon and not even sad any more that my baby is not 'healthy'.....his condition is not life limiting and TBH that is all that matters. I can't wait to meet him!

WinkyWinkola · 03/08/2010 09:02

I have 2 boys and 1 girl. I'd like one more baby. I used to think I'd like another girl but I don't really care now.

It sounds pious but I'm bloody lucky.

ArseyMum · 03/08/2010 09:06

Late reply to chasingsquirrels- I feel sad for the baby if it comes out the 'wrong' sex because its birth is greeted with disappointment. And yes, I did feel sad (and horribly guilty) for my DS, before he was born though because I found out at 20 weeks.

JaMmRocks · 03/08/2010 09:12

I couldn't understand why people were so insistent that I must have been wanting a girl when pregnant with DS2, I genuinely didn't mind. I feel sad for people that do care, it must be upsetting and guilt inducing to have those feelings and not be able to control them. I love having boys and if I am blessed with anymore childen I don't mind what sex they will be either.

Really weird was after DS2 was born, two separate people made comments along the lines of 'should he have been a girl?' and 'are you glad you had a boy?'

LouM10 · 03/08/2010 09:13

I thought I wanted a boy, but as long as it was healthy, I wouldn't mind that much. I found out I was having a boy, and after the initial excitement, I felt like crying. All I could think was 'No frilly knickers, and dresses, and playing with hair and makeup.' I felt so awful for feeling like this, but after 2 weeks, i started to get excited again.

WinkyWinkola · 03/08/2010 09:18

At the same time though, I don't really care what people say about the gender of my bumps or children. People say a lot of guff and often it's because they trot out cliches or can't think of anything else to say. I don't think it's worth getting het up about.

Elsa123 · 03/08/2010 09:28

If you'd asked me before I fell pg I'd have said I'd prefer a girl. However, I've been convinced this one's a boy and in all my imaginings of life after birth, I keep thinking of a boy! My DH would really like a girl (mainly due to his bad experiences in a household full of boys as a child, but I'm sure he'll be fine either way when the time comes.

To cut a long story short, I genuinely don't mind. I did buy some blue hooded towels at the weekend as I'm sick of white/cream and now my mother is convinced I know its a boy....irrationally, I want to prove her wrong, just because she'd be so smug if I did have a boy as she's been saying from early on that I'm huge and its going to be a big boy (I'm 3 weeks behind on my bump measurement)....

Bethy40 · 03/08/2010 09:28

I have 3 sons and am 26 weeks pregnant with number 4. EVERYONE thinks I want a girl and I know how frustrated you feel. I really don't mind as long as it is healthy. My eldest has special needs and, most of the time(!), is a joy and it just makes you appreciate them so much whatever gender.

MrsC2010 · 03/08/2010 09:29

I really genuinely didn't care. This surprised the sonographer which I thought was a bit sad.

porcamiseria · 03/08/2010 09:30

i dont mind, pros and cons for both

TitsalinaBumSquash · 03/08/2010 09:34

After loosing Twins i really didnt care what sex DS was as long as he was healthy, as it happens i was scanned every few weeks and right up untill 30 weeks DS1 was a girl!

My Father sobbed when i was born after having had 2 girls, he left shortly after as my Mum had 'failed' him, twat.

Debs75 · 03/08/2010 09:36

DC1 didn't care either way, dp really wanted a boy but she was a girl.Hah
DC2 still didn't care but wanted a boy for dp and he was a boy.
DC3 wanted a girl, ds has autism and I somehow felt safer with a girl, got a girl
DC4 don't know yet(due next month) not too bothered either way but a girl would be more practical and cheaper as we have loads of girl baby clothes.

When my mum had me she carried different to my sis so she assumed I was a boy, she had boy names and just pushed the idea of a girl out of her head. when the MW said a lovely girl she just replied 'Oh a girl, not a boy then?' She was so despondent that they thought she would reject me. Funnily enough she didn't even really want a boy she had just convinced herself I was going to be a boy.

mumto2andnomore · 03/08/2010 09:39

Im really glad so many of you didnt mind.

I must admit I would have been gutted if I didnt have at least 1 girl, now shes getting older we have lovely shopping and lunch days out which my son is just not interested in.If I hadnt had her I would have been really jealous of my friends with girls. Most people I know in real life are the same.

WinkyWinkola · 03/08/2010 09:44

Plus my dd is a total tomboy. You can't project what you think a boy or a girl will be like. Just because you enjoy shopping etc does not mean your dd will.

GoldenGreen · 03/08/2010 09:46

I have one of each but would have been happy with two boys or two girls. I did want a boy first time around because I had some worries about managing a mother/daughter relationship due to having a difficult time with my own mother - I am more sensible about it now!

It does annoy me on behalf of my hypothetical ds2 that people act as if I've won the lottery by having dd.

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