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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Feeling Bad - here we go again.

96 replies

Rhubarb · 24/07/2003 20:37

Feel really, really s**t tonight. Just have no emotions at all. It's awful but I just want dh and dd to go away and leave me alone. The baby has been kicking furiously all day and I wish it wouldn't. I want to run away and start all over again. I don't want another baby, I can't cope with two, and I hate telling people that I'm pregnant, I just don't want to talk about it at all. I really wish I wasn't. I guess I should visit my GP now, but I feel like I've failed.

Just want to throw the towel in now.

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Wills · 26/07/2003 20:12

Your words bought back awful memories. My thoughts are with you and I'm sending loads and loads of cyber hugs. Please please please get yourself some help as soon as possible.

Take care

wills x

M2T · 26/07/2003 21:47

Rhubarb - I hope you can get yourself better soon. Depression is a monster that people seem to think you can control on your own and that it's your own fault. Well it isn't, and I'm sure your dd will be fine. I have been so hysterical in front of ds that I've nearly wet myself on loads of occasions. The look on his face breaks my heart. But within an hour or 2 he's back to his normal self.

Take care.

emsiewill · 26/07/2003 22:51

Rhubarb, just to let you know that I'm thinking of you. Look after yourself. xx

sb34 · 26/07/2003 23:01

Message withdrawn

Claireandrich · 26/07/2003 23:02

Thinking of you too Rhubarb. Hope you get the help you need very soon. Take care and let Dh look after you this weekend.

StripyMouse · 27/07/2003 09:05

Rhubarb, I have been thinking about you this weekend and hope that your DH (who sounds really supportive) has helped you to relax and take just take it easy. I keep typing and deleting - all words seem inadequate and hopelessly lacking and yet I desperately wish I could offer you something substantial that would help make you feel more positive in some small way. Please let us know how you are doing. Hugs xxxx

whymummy · 27/07/2003 09:38

take care rhubarb,i had antenatal depression and did nothing about it as i didnt know what it was and just felt so guilty for feeling the way i did,with pnd and antenatal depression i feel like i lost 2 years of my life,sometimes i cant even remember being pregnant with dd,there`s just a big black cloud and nothing else,let us know how you are
hugs {{{{{}}}}}

Demented · 27/07/2003 14:42

Rhubarb, just catching up on this, hugs, look after yourself.

Rhubarb · 27/07/2003 15:20

dh has taken dd to the park. I don't really want to go into how I feel right now, I'm just holding out for that GP appointment tomorrow. Thank you for your support, it does help that people care, I forget that sometimes. I'll keep in touch.

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Rhubarb · 27/07/2003 15:24

Just re-read these messages and it gave me a bit of added strength. I must try to get myself out of this, I'm going to try and find dd and dh in the park. Even if I have a shit time, I have to make the effort. It's just that the effort seems to take all my energy away. I shall take my own advice and fight back. Better do it now before I change my mind!

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mears · 27/07/2003 15:25

Good for you Rhubarb. Hope it get good advice from GP tomorrow. We are all rooting for you. Best wishes, mears

Rosy · 27/07/2003 23:01

Rhubarb - just caught up with this. Just lots of love for the next few months. The only constructive thing I can think to add is I hope you have lots of videos/CBeebies for your dd to watch if you're not up to being with her all day without a break. Take care Rxxx

Boe · 28/07/2003 08:53

Been thinking about you all weekend - I read your site and cried - you are so so so brave and sensible to face up to this and not try to do it all on your own.

I do hope that your appointment goes well today and you get some help.

Depression is something that we should all be more open and honest about and you have to remember that you are such a wonderful person and your site has probably helped hundreds of people to realise what is wrong with them and come to terms with it and reach out for help. You have done something truely wonderful, used your experience to help others.

Good luck and lots of hugs XXXXX

Rhubarb · 28/07/2003 12:13

Thank you. Am feeling slightly saner today. Went to see GP this morning. There is a 3 month waiting list for CPNs, but she is going to try and get me in as an urgent case. We discussed medication, but I'd rather try to deal with this myself, learn how to recognise the signs and have the support there to handle it, rather than pop pills. I know that they are there if I need them, but I'd rather look at the alternatives first. She's also going to order a computer course for me called 'Beating the Blues' or something like that, a kind of self-help CD ROM.

I also have a double appointment on Thursday with my MW. I feel relieved now that they know, so I only have to phone them and the support will be there.

Dh and I had a long talk last night, once he'd convinced me to eat something! He asked me what he should do, and it was hard to tell him. I tried to explain how I felt and what was going on in my head. He knows that once I'm in that black hole I'm not thinking rationally or reasonably, I can't sit down and say 'This is happening so this is what I need to do', there is no sense to it. So he doesn't take any of it personally, but he does try to bully me into getting out, and if I try to go to bed, he doesn't leave me alone, he pesters me. I think that's best, so that I'm not allowed to wallow in it.

I will fight it. It does take up a lot of energy, but it's worth it if I can reclaim my mind! Luckily those damned dogs are going home today, so that will be a weight off my mind. Thanks for all your support, I knew there was a reason I joined Mumsnet! I'll be putting all of this on my site, it might help others to read an account of it whilst it's actually happening, they might be able to relate to it better. Dh is defintitely having the snip after this one though!

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WideWebWitch · 28/07/2003 18:46

Rhubarb, nothing I can say except well done and your dh sounds as if he's doing all the right things, as do you. Hugs x

lilibet · 28/07/2003 20:52

Rhubarb, you may not feel it at the moment, but you really do sound like one of the strongest people I have ever 'met'. Your post about how you are fighting this is awe inspiring. Loads of love to you and your wonderful family.

winnie1 · 29/07/2003 09:06

Rhubarb, glad you are feeling a little saner today. Thinking of you, cyber hugs, Winniex

Bugsy2 · 29/07/2003 10:23

Fingers crossed for you Rhubarb. I think you are very brave to be trying to tackle your problem without resorting to pills. Cyber hugs.

eefs · 29/07/2003 11:25

Rhubarb, I'm so sorry that it's happened again, but glad you are starting to tackle it head on. It's a very brave thing to do to. BTW your DH sounds like a gem.

Rhubarb · 29/07/2003 21:04

Took dd to see the new Piglet movie today. We had a picnic lunch by the docks and made a really nice day out of it. Then a fellow Mumsnetter (she knows who she is!) paid me a surprise visit this afternoon - well it wouldn't have been a surprise if my head wasn't so muddled still! So all in all today has been good

I'm going to write down my good days and detail what made them good. Then on my bad days I can read them back and hopefully it will give me some strength. Plus I'm going to do updates on my site. So plenty to keep me occupied! Thank you everyone who has supported me on here, some of the messages, well most of them actually, made me cry. Thank you for keeping faith in me. I don't feel very strong - but it's nice to be told that I am!

I'll keep you posted!

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SoupDragon · 29/07/2003 21:32

Glad to hear you're coping OK at the moment. You've done this before and you've got through it before. you can do it again and come out the other side (not a happy happy smiley, a sympathetic encouraging smiley IYSWIM)

quackers · 30/07/2003 08:45

Good to hear from you Rhubarb, so glad you had a lovely day!!

Batters · 30/07/2003 13:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CAM · 30/07/2003 13:58

Rhubarb we went to see Piglet's Big Movie last week - the sad bit made my dd cry (but then she's a bit soppy) but its very a very sweet film isn't it

Rhubarb · 30/07/2003 15:17

Errrr, is it CAM? I spent most of the film dreaming about pints of Guinness!

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