Feeling Bad - here we go again.

[Rhubarb]

Feel really, really s**t tonight. Just have no emotions at all. It's awful but I just want dh and dd to go away and leave me alone. The baby has been kicking furiously all day and I wish it wouldn't. I want to run away and start all over again. I don't want another baby, I can't cope with two, and I hate telling people that I'm pregnant, I just don't want to talk about it at all. I really wish I wasn't. I guess I should visit my GP now, but I feel like I've failed.

Just want to throw the towel in now.

Rhubarb, hope you have taken on board the advice on hereand have seenyour GP today and have stopped being so hard on yourself. Best wishes,
sis

Sorry, forgot to refresh, so didn't realise that you had posted an update - the bit about not being too hard on yourself still applies!

Rhubarb you need to see someone NOW...where I live the local hospital has a walk in mental health clinic 24 hours where you can get an immediate assessment, do you know if you have anything similar?

And please don't lay any guilt on yourself, you have nothing to feel bad about, even DD and the present...even without depression people have those kind of days, you are not a monster.

Have phoned and left a message for midwife to contact me. Dh was worried so just phoned to say he is on his way home, he's told me to stay in bed. So that's what I'm doing. He'll look after us both this weekend. Thank you all. I know this sounds bad, but it hasn't got anywhere near the depths of last time, so please don't worry too much. www, I will be in touch when I feel a bit better. I'm just going to lie down and switch off for a while. Better go in case midwife is trying to call.

I second, third, fourth, everything everyone has said, Rhubarb. I won't go into details but I've BTDT, too, and it will much easier for you to get well if you nip this in the bud. It is an emergency, not just for yourself but for your dh and dd too. You all need the old Rhubarb back again, so please, please, please, pick up that phone and call your GP now. And don't forget that The Samaritans are always there, 24hrs a day, to offer emotional support. 08457 909090 and Samaritans

Oops, posts crossed, Rhubarb. I'm glad you've set the ball rolling. Best wishes.

Rhubard - have you tried calling Mind - I had anorexia as a child and they were great - I know it is a completely different thing but I am sure they would see you at short notice - I hope you are ok anyway, just try and rest and know that there are dozens of us around the world thinking of you.

Don;t worry about your daughter - you are a great mum and I am sure that she will forget the fracas you had - weigh up tyhe times that you have together and all is great and the times that you blow - explain to her that somethimes everyone gets tired and grumpy and loses their temper - just make sure that the next time she does you say I unmderstand do you remember when mummy ............. - it is a great way to teach children that it is good to show positive and negative emotions - I really feel that they should not keep them pent up (I did for years and look at me).

I wish you all the best and hope you know that lots of mums are thinking of you.

I am not sure if I know how to contact others or how they can contact me but if you ever need anything I would be glad to help - although have a feeling am v.far away - just ask ok.

Have good rest. XX

Rhubarb, please take care, glad you have contacted the midwife... Best wishes, Winniex

Just reading this thread and wanted to add some hugs for you Rhubarb. Rest well, your DH sounds like a rock. Give your DD a huge hug and tell you'll bake some cakes or something when your feeling a little more yourself again. Glad you called MW, hope she sorts an appointment for you. I was totally impressed by that website of yours by the way. Really hepled me put to rest some old ghosts. Thankyou Rhubarb.xxxxx

Sorry I've nothing to add to the fantastic advice that you have had here, just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of all three of you and really wishing you wel soon. You have helped so many on here in the past and on your own site, hope that you are getting some strength from the obvious high esteemthat everyone here holds oyuin. hugsxx

Honey, take care and really, really really don't worry about dd.

Depression is so vile - been there too. Hugs from me.

Look after yourself Rhubarb, and tell your dh how you feel. It will make you feel better and he will be able to take on some of this, like getting you appointments, allowing you to rest etc.
And don't worry about crying/being angry in front of your dd, the thing about small children is that they cry and have tantrums all the time and actually I don't think they find it at all odd that adults do too, occasionally. At least mine don't! She won't remember it by tomorrow.
Remember how much help you have given other people in the same situation with your website etc, and try and give yourself the same good advice/accept help etc in return.
Best of luck

Hope you don't mind me asking, but what is Rhubarbs website address? I'd like to have a look.

Thanks

rhubarbssite

Thanks Quackers

Sending big hugs your way Rhubarb, hope you are back on a more even keel soon, lots of love E x

No worries, at least it worked, I don't have muchluck with links. It's agreat website isn't it. Respect!

just caught up with this. what a shame you are feeling like this. excellent advice and comments here already. really hope you feel better soon. take care.

Nothing to say, except don't be hard on yourself, and take all the help offered. Thinking of you.

Rhubarb, just caught up with this. Can't add anything to the good advice you've been given, but thinking of you and sending hugs. When you feel able, let us know how your appointment went. Glad your dh is going to be there for you this weekend.

Can't add anything in the way of advice, no experience to share, just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you too and hoping you can get the help you need to turn the corner soon.

When you can, let us know how you are. xxx

Excellent advice on this thread already
Rhubarb, I have had a look at your website and just want to remind you what you yourself advice to others suffering antenatal depression:
don't be hard on yourself, it's not your fault.Seek professional help ASAP.

Thinking of you, best of luck, you know you have overcome this once, you can do it again

Copied from your website:

Please remember that it is not all doom and gloom. Even when you are at your lowest ebb, you must remember that these feelings will pass. If you get help early enough, and you are honest and open about your feelings, then you can get through this bad phase and emerge relatively unscathed at the end.

hope you feel better soonest, rhubarb. xxx