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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Is anyone else worried about what their 2nd DC will be like?

23 replies

MadameCheese · 18/07/2010 18:27

I had no preconceived ideas about what DS would be like but he has turned out to be the sweetest most compliant child. Am now worried that 2nd DC will be the spawn of the devil to even things out. I do keep being told by helpful people that this is inevitable

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MassiveBumperlicious · 18/07/2010 18:33

I fully expect the child to be just like DD1 and will be very shocked if it is not

Seriously though, I am a little worried. Although I am more worried it will be easier than DD and I will love it more because it is easier, but also because I am more ready this time. And DD is an awkward 3 year old, so worried that I will be making the comparison between a lovely new baby and a yelling toddler

5DollarShake · 18/07/2010 18:56

Yes, definitely!

DS1 (nearly 18mos) is the most lovable, cheekiest little monkey, full of personality and character, but he is pretty demanding. I know if DC2 is anything like him I am going to struggle!

But I think you just deal with it, and love them equally in their own way.

Lynli · 18/07/2010 19:11

A long time ago now but DD2 was just as delightful as DD1. They were both easy and lovely until they were teenagers.

vmcd28 · 18/07/2010 21:45

I know what you mean - I worry that I'll "prefer" one of them....

wigglesrock · 18/07/2010 22:42

My dd1 also was was the sweetest, compliant, fantastic sleeper (right through from 9 weeks!!!) My dd2 was complete opposite - didn't sleep unless I was holding her, didn't close her eyes on her first night - midwives even commented on it!! Even now at 2.8 not a great sleeper but she is such a funny, smart, friendly little girl. Literally almost pee myself when talking to her most days. My elder dd is also beautiful, confident, funny, but they are soo different and yet complement each other. I ask on my dd2 on a regular basis why does she keep calling for me at night - she sits on my knee, puts my face in her hands and says "but I love you mummy"

Lozario · 19/07/2010 09:56

oh wigglesrock how cute is that!!!

I've just found out I'm up the duffers with dc2 and am expecting it to be like ds1 (13months!!) - ie, difficult sleeper, easily bored, constantly hungry.... so I'm expecting a struggle!!! On the upside though he's a real showman and loves a crowd - of course this means that everyone else imagines he's as adorable when it's just the two of us! (urm, noooo!!!!)

So if dc2 is a sleeper I will be AMAZED. And truly thankful I had them in that order, as I wouldn't have appreciated it as much the other way around I don't expect.

Original poster

MadameCheese · 19/07/2010 13:50

That is sweet wiggle , I just need to get to grips with the fact that DS is not going to get all my attention anymore...

OP posts:

LolaKnickers · 19/07/2010 13:54

You're definitely not alone - this thought keeps me awake at night. I worry that I will prefer the elder one and the second will just be the spare child.

Jacksmybaby · 19/07/2010 18:36

Oh god, I am so owed a "good" child this time round! I adore DS more than anything but he has never been the easiest child!! Please please let DC2 be chilled out, self-sufficient and most importantly a good sleeper .

And I definitely know what you mean, Lola.

eth37 · 19/07/2010 18:42

I worry that I couldn't possibly love anything even half as much as I love DS

wem · 19/07/2010 18:51

I know exactly what you mean MadameCheese. DD was an absolute nightmare sleeper for the first year, but always made up for it by being lovely, happy and easy-going, and sleeps wonderfully now. I'm not sure whether I'm more worried about dd2 (I'm 29 weeks pregnant) sleeping as badly or sleeping well but being generally 'difficult' to make up for it!

MogTheForgetfulCat · 19/07/2010 21:06

I had a velcro baby/devil-spawn toddler for DS1 - was v anxious about DS2, but out popped the sweetest, most laid-back little thing ever. And he slept! Twas truly a miracle.

I was so worried I wouldn't love him enough - although (or because?) DS1 was always so tricky, I felt a very strong, fierce love for him that hasn't diminished one iota. And although I loved DS2 instantly, I worried that it wasn't as good, not enough, because it was less intense. But I've realised recently (they are 4 and 2 now) that I love DS2 more and more as time goes on, he is so sweet and funny. I love them both to bits, and it feels good!

Octaviapink · 20/07/2010 06:46

I'm with eth37 - I love dd more than I'd thought I could love anything, and I'm worried ds won't get the same.

DomesticG0ddess · 20/07/2010 09:47

I only worry from a health perspective, not from a personality one. DS seems so healthy now, that I worry we couldn't be so lucky twice. And I don't worry about loving one more than the other - after all, what parent tells you they love one more than the other??? (unless they all keep it to themselves!? )

PinkElephant73 · 20/07/2010 11:23

DomesticGoddess Its quite possible to LIKE one child more than the other, even if you "love them all the same".

One of my DCs is much more easy-going than his brother who is highly argumentative, loves to pick fights, and generally drives me, his teachers, grandparents etc mad. We have had some really difficult times with him and he has, I'm afraid just simply not been as likeable to adults as his brother. However he is immensely popular with his little friends whereas his quieter brother is more of a loner.

Heaven knows what number 3 will be like but I just want them all to be happy and healthy, my mental state is a secondary consideration!

PinkElephant73 · 20/07/2010 11:24

PS The amount of love you have stretches with the number of DCs, it is not a finite thing. However time and attention are limited and those are the hard things to share fairly between the DCs IME.

fernie3 · 20/07/2010 11:36

my second was the exact opposite to my first and the third has managed to be totally different to both of them! I have never felt that one is better than the other overall (as in a I have no favourite) but I would be lying if I said that they dont stand out in certain areas each if that makes sense - my oldest is the one that I love having little hugs and chats with my second is a little monster when it comes to lettign me relax BUT he is the one who will sit with you when you are sad and stroke your hair give you a kiss etc (hes three). My littlest has a special little place with me because she is so much like me in looks and personality . This new baby I am sure will find her own place in the world just like the others have!

DomesticG0ddess · 20/07/2010 15:45

Yes, like is different, I'm sure - the posters mentioned loving another child the same as the first and it's just not something I worry about.

I am intrigued to find out what my DS2 will be like - possibly having another boy will mean it's easier to slip into making comparisons?

eth37 · 20/07/2010 18:06

I am worried about that too DomesticG0ddess - I don't know what we're hving yet, but thinking if it's another boy, I will compare them too readily, and also - how could another boy be as perfect as DS? Although DS is very tricky in some ways, and certainly in the sleeping way....

DomesticG0ddess · 20/07/2010 18:09

Yes, I am due an absolute angel when it comes to sleeping!! DS1 is just the loveliest boy and everyone says how "good" he is, but man did I seem to pay for it during the night! He only really started sleeping through when he turned 3, so the last 7 months have been bliss, relatively speaking!

Original poster

MadameCheese · 21/07/2010 14:07

Also, and this is rubbish, everyone tells me how beautiful DS is. TBH I don't know how someone as odd looking as me could have spawned such a good looking child, I'm worried that DC 2 will inherit my looks. Oh for goodness sake give me a slap, what does it matter?!!

OP posts:

vmcd28 · 21/07/2010 15:13

madame, that made me laugh
The thing is, we could all have really ugly children, but we'd never know, cos they will always be stunningly beautiful to us! And no-one's going to say to you, "Jeez, put a bag over its head" so how would we know?

PrivetDancer · 21/07/2010 16:08

DomesticG0ddess - I know what you mean about the health thing - things went so well the first time, how can it possibly be so straightforward again?

I'm also can't imagine anything other than a little DD clone arriving, but it will be exciting to see what they are like
(they had better sleep as well as DD though, this is probably my one big 'fear')

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