2 year old doesn't care about being wet and wont use potty. Help please!

[Karma1387]

I really need some help. I am currently on my 3rd attempt at potty training my 2 yrs 7 month old and we just arent getting anywhere. He asks for toilet but wont sit on the toilet or the potty. If I put him in trousers or underwear or naked and he pees he does not care and will happily sit in it if I haven't noticed he has done it.

How on earth do I potty train him when he doesnt care about being wet and wont sit on the potty. I don't want to be a parent with a 4 year old still in nappies but honestly I am at a loss on how to get him moving forwards.

Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Just tell him to sit here on till he gos

You wait. He is obviously not ready to be potty trained yet. Children feel the sensations of needing to wee, having a wee etc at different ages. I would put him in pull ups and take the pressure off.

I would not do this, it makes it very stressful and he could develop shy wee. If he is made to sit there for a long time, it will also feel like punishment for something he cannot yet control.

He's obviously not ready OP.

It was in some book I read before I found out my child has a bad bladder and prop won't train

He’s very young, boys usually train late.
Why did you start, was he showing any signs he was ready? Years ago the public health nurse said they won’t be ready until they can remember 2 commands eg go to the kitchen get me a fork.

I would stop for a while and narrate your own toilet trips. I’ve had a big drink I better check if I have a wee/ it’s time to go in the car I’m going to use the loo first etc

Yeah I’d say still not ready.

Have you done all the usual stuff - made sure you give him one big drink then stick him on the loo an hour later or whatever?

My son really truly hated the potty by the way. For him it was step stool and a kids toilet seat on the big toilet. I found it easier to get him focused on using the big toilet, the potty seemed to baffle him.

I don’t think it’s that uncommon, especially for kids that enjoy messy play, to care that much about being wet and dirty. You need to find a motivator. Firstly he needs to sit to get a success so try fidget toys, books, I’d even consider TV if you need to. Offer the choice of toilet with a seat or small potty. Whatever works. Pump him full of liquids, even stuff he might not be allowed often like juice or ice lollies. Then sit for 5 minutes every 30 minutes. And when you do finally get something give him a smartie or similar as a reward. On the flip side make accidents really inconvenient. Get him involved in clean up, he needs to get himself changed (choose easy outfits like baggy joggers) and put the wet stuff in the machine, faff about pretending you can’t find fresh pants etc. The idea being he learns using the potty gets a reward whilst accidents are annoying interruptions to play.

Readiness is mostly a myth invented by companies that sell nappies. A child capable of walking (the muscles are linked) and expressing any other need such as asking for a snack if hungry (and baring any medical issues) is ready. He might never come around on his own and generally speaking it’s much harder to motivate a stubborn 3-4YO than a 2YO.

We started as he hates wearing a nappy. He asks to wear pants and will take his nappy off or refuse to have it on without a fight but will happily wear pants.

And truthfully because you see so so many things online about kids starting school not being potty trained and I am terrified of having that child.

He happily helps clean up any of his messes. He wont help get undressed as he can't/wont do that yet as he has a really issue with clothes.

Yeah this is my worry. He is stubborn now and I can't imagine what he will be like at 3-4.

Yeah he drinks a heck of a lot anyway so we go through a lot of nappies. He won't sit on the potty or toilet although we do try regularily. Any time he asks for the toilet we take him and offer it but he just wants us to go toilet and wont sit on it himself.

Thats really young. My daughter is 4 and I remember reading when she was 2 that if you start potty training at 2 it'll take a year, at 2.5 it'll take 6 months, and at 3 it'll take a weekend. Obviously this is tongue in cheek but we tried at 2.5 and found it so horrendous we gave up and waited. She was fully dry overnight within a week of our next proper try, when she was about 3 and 1 month.

I left my oldest son naked and had a measuring cup that I used to catch the wee. He was very precocious with numbers, and loved seeing how much wee we caught (in fact he learned to read fractions from the measuring cup). This made the whole process fun for him. Is there something that would make catching wee fun for your boy? A bribe? A story about seeing and pooing which is read while sitting on the potty?

Take a break from it. My DS was over 3 when we started. Dial right back from suggesting it or talking about it at all as you want to avoid creating resistance.

Get the Oh Crap book and follow what it says. Not because it’s perfect but because following a plan is easier than working it out yourself. But ignore the bit about it saying 3 is too old. Both of mine were 3 or thereabouts!

Don’t stress!!! Kids who are going to school untrained are either SEN, extreme cases or parents who didn’t realise for whatever reason that they were meant to do this. You are not that parent!

xxx

How on earth did you manage to do this? I have a 7 month old so no way I could watch him constantly to catch his wee! He often does it whilst just sat on the sofa or floor and I don't know he has done it until he gets up.

We have tried books on the potty but he doesnt care. I have used chocolate to get him to sit there but after a week with no wees and just a lot of chocolate eaten to get him to just sit there we scrapped that bribe.

How long have you been trying for this attempt? My youngest was very reluctant, the time he 'got it' we didn't get a single wee in the potty until late on day 7 of training. I was on the verge of giving up.

I would work on getting him to agree to sit on the toilet/potty and also getting his own trousers down, as without those two skills he is going to make limited progress even if he can recognise when he needs to go.

I don't agree he isn't ready. He wants to wear pants. That's ready enough. Please don't stop.

It sounds as though you are trying to do much at once. Step 1 is him sitting on the loo or potty, with no expectation of him weeing. Let him have a book or sing together. Step 2 is him sitting on the loo at set times - when he gets up, after meals and naps, before bed. Persistence is key to building up these habits so don't give up.

Let him see you and dad using the loo too, to normalise it.

My DD trained from 2yrs 4 mths. It took a while for her to recognise when she needed to go, even though she sat happily on the loo (no interest in the potty). It was frustrating but I was determined!

The chance of him not having cracked it by 4 is tiny, really it is.

You have a year to do this btw ;) so like if you need the time take it. Do you work at all?

PS ref readiness My light bulb moment when DD was having accidents came when I realised it just wasn't important to her. That helped my feelings of frustration and gave me the patience to carry on.

This.

Try to have some friends around with little boys who do use the toilet/ potty. All the boys in pants and make a competition as to how much wee in potty or how many times they wee in the toilet. Do it a couple of times and hopefully bingo!

Unfortunately no friends to be able to do this otherwise would be a good idea.

It's just the way worked for me... it was something fun for him. He would notice if he was starting to wee (because he was naked), and it appealed to him to catch the wee in something so he could see how much he made, and then pour it into the toilet himself . I realise it probably wouldn't work for anyone else, but I wanted to see if there was something that was fun for your boy that might catch his attention.

If he hates wearing nappies and wants to wear pants , he should only get to put a pair of pants on once he has weed on potty or toilet , many children are ready to potty train by 2 or 21/2 some aren’t , if it is taking months then they aren’t ready it should be a fairly quick process. I would also try rewards/bribery to motivate him. Both my children cracked it within a week around the age of 2 , one DD and one DS, more recently my grandchild did the same at just over 2

The only bribery that has worked so far has been constany chocolate to get him to sit on the potty but I literally have to keep feeding him chocolate to keep him there which isn't really healthy and still never results in a wee.

I have tried stickers, special toys, tv nothing motivates him to sit on the potty.

But I will just keep perservering!