Daughter had accident in soft play help!

[BusyCat]

My child has been potty training for around 3/4 weeks now. They only had 3 accidents the whole time so was definitely ready after a few failed attempts. Shes 3.5 years old

Today before leaving my child they went to the potty and done a substantial pee. Then we got to soft play I took them to toilet and they said they didnt need but tried. Within 5 mins of being there they had an accident. She told me straight away and was near to the entrance in and out the soft play. It is a small one so can have eyes on. I had her younger daughter with me also so bundled them up to change and tell staff. As I was walking out a grandad grabbed my arm and starting moaning that the whole place will need cleaned that its ridiculous shes had an accident. He went on and on. I could see my daughter picking up on this and I really tried to explain to her accidents happen and encourage going to potty/toilet. Once I came back from telling staff and changing her. He greeted me again to say staff still weren't here and that she my daughter shouldn't be going back in till shes not having accidents. I told him I told staff im trying to manage both my kids safely this soft play is in a cafe there is hot drinks etc. I genuinely didnt know what he wanted me to do. Another grandparent said to him shes told staff they will be.coming just leave it now. I was on the verge of tears and just got my stuff and left.

Was I wrong to take her to soft play? Would other parents not have done this so soon? I feel so guilty

Hey OP, think some posters have been a bit harsh

Ny DS really struggled with potty training and even when doing really well and trained for a while now and again he would have an accident.

I did have to tell myself that even a child that has been potty trained for a year or two may still have an occasional accident and it can take you by surprise.

I get where some posters are coming from, it is still early days so the risk of an accident was probably quite high but from your post I can see that actually you’ve done all the right things, encouraging her to go before hand and when there and she sounds like she’s doing well

Try not to feel too bad about it, it happens, sounds like that bloke was being over the top. I’d just be grateful if was just a little wee at the entrance and not something worse 😂

One trick that we did in the early days was to stick a pull up over the pants if we were going out. So he still felt wet if he had an accident but it kept it in. And we still kept using the toilet as needed regularly, it was just a fail safe. Might be good for journeys our outings as you seem to be doing well with your DD and you’ll want to keep the momentum

I think it makes no sense for posters to say don't bring her to soft play till she doesn't have accidents. Even children who have been fully potty trained for months have occasional accidents. My DS is in the 3-5 preschool room at his nursery, and most of the children are trained but pretty much all of them will, once in a while, come home with a plastic bag with some wet pants in. At soft play, where it's exciting and physical and children are distracted, pretty much any child could have an accident. I once went to a 4th birthday party where 2 separate children who'd been trained for a long time had a wee accident and their parents hadn't got any spare pants with them (because their children had been trained for so long) but it was okay because several other parents had spares to lend. The other parents had brought spares because although their children had also been trained for months if not years, they knew that accidents can still happen. Especially at soft play.

No, use pull ups. Like everyone keeps saying.

What absolute rubbish. Pull ups aren't recommended at all once you start potty training.

I've never used them. Took mine out same weekend we started training, only stayed in the first day. 3 weeks after I'd have no issues going to soft play. We were at parties and things after a week.

Pull ups aren't so old dated, they are just another word for nappy. If you are potty training then putting a nappy on then is ridiculous, very confusing and just drawing the whole thing out. Mine were done in a couple of days at 2ish.

Pull ups were just invented by the nappy companies to keep you buying stuff

Totally agree. DD2 has been toilet trained for ages, she hasn’t had any accidents in ages but she came home from nursery with some wet trousers in a bag randomly the other day as she had just got too engrossed in something outside and then didn’t give herself enough time to get to toilet. It happens. DD1 was the same.

After a few days mostly at home while getting established, we just carried on as normal otherwise and took spare clothes just in case. The only time we use pull-ups is for car journeys because she’s not dry at night yet so if she falls asleep she can pee.

Absolutely 💯

This happens all the time - they just disinfect it and move on! I wouldn't give this a moments thought!

It happens, don't beat yourself up.

TBH, i probably would have used napkins or similar to mop up the puddle before going to change (as well as telling staff so they can abitbac it), just to make sure it doesn't get stood in and spread.

No need to stay home entirely, but maybe a few weeks of mainly parks (where it doesn't matter) or places that are either less distracting or at least easier to clean.

Don’t put her in pull ups! The man was rude and precious. It’s a soft play. Accidents happen all the time.

One of my kids had an accident on the way home from school when he was in year 1 age 6. He had been trained for 3 years by that point. He had needed a wee at school while watching a film but didn’t want to miss the film then forgot to go before home time.

These things happen.

Anyone who goes in soft play thinking it's clean is mad!

She didn't go in there and wee on purpose. It was an accident. You did the right thing. Staff clean in-between sessions. Obviously it's not nice for them but it comes with working in a children's environment. I'd rather clean a wee patch than dried on snot 🤣

Why didn’t you tell him to get away from you? ‘Sir stop harassing me, the staff are handling it’.

Alternatively go nuclear and say you’ll come and embarrass him when he pisses himself in a care home in a few years.

People like that need reminding that they are not the King and don’t get to lecture everyone.

If you really don't want to use pull ups, you can get knickers with a terry towling style lining.

They won't hold it long but it's enough for her to run out and tell you and you get her changed etc before it's through every layer.

Very useful when you are out and about at places where getting to a toilet at short notice is more difficult.

It's very common for kids to get distracted at soft play so I do agree that given how recently she's trained it was optimistic. But there was also no need for him to berate you.

You can put pull ups over pants so you don't go backwards on potty training

I did this on long train journeys til my son was about 7 🤣

It wasn't that he wasn't trained, just that you'd be waiting for a connection that gets later and later in two minute announcements and there's no time to go all the way across a major station but there minutes turns into 25. Takes the stress out of 'but I really need it'.

Don't give it another thought. You didnt do anything wrong, all children have accidents, a bit of pee on a wipe clean surface is fine.

For yourself, you could pop kitchen roll and antibacterial wipes under the buggy if going somewhere like this. Then you'd have been able to soak it up/wipe it down immediately, and before waiting until staff got to a proper clean. You might get less judgemental comments that way and might make you feel less anxious to be able to solve the problem. But your daughter will get the hang of it too. Bet the old man hasnt gone through his whole life completely accident free!

I think the majority have said don't put her in pull ups.

Former soft play staff here. It happens, they're small kids. It's absolutely not the worst thing I've cleaned up at a soft play I tell you that.

Honestly it was an accident and it could happen to anyone. Kids can have the odd random accident for a while after potty training.

You did everything right and there was no need for him to go on and on at you.

Hi Op, when I was potty training my eldest I found this https://potette.co.uk/?gadsource=1&gadd_campaignid=22919161184&gbraid=0AAAABAKZ6vhTifyy4BpD2OUzF3KTLbSZO helpful especially when out in the park. I had a large muslin to shield her / give some privacy.

In the early days I did have to remind / ask her as she'd be so engrossed in having fun that she would occasionally forget.

Don't beat yourself up. Accidents happen.

I’d have told him to fuck off

its a bit of wee easily wiped up

my daughter had an accident at soft play months after potty training cus she was having loads of fun and forgot

it happens

the man is a dick

make sure to put daughter is told the man is wrong and accidents are no biggie

There’s a type of grandparent who had no involvement in the bringing up of their own children and is now spending time with their grandchildren with very little idea of what small children are like. Ignore them. Not an ideal thing to happen, but definitely not the first accident in a soft play.

Ah ok fair enough. I think claiming you'll never leave the house is a bit extreme though!

Or just wear pull ups for things like that.
You said the nursery advised you not to do it but that doesn't mean you can't do it occasionally to ensure she can still do fun things like soft play without risking an accident. And the rest of the time she doesn't wear pull ups.

The man was being a bit of a dick. He should have just kept his nose out of it. Accidents happen.

To make you feel better - I once took DC to a soft play place and there was a child there with a pull up on leaking diarrhoea 😡. Mum took her to the bathroom saying to another family member "oh it's happened again". Child was clearly in throes of a bug... the next day DS and I came down with it. Now that I did judge (and no, that wasn't a scenario where pull ups were the right answer either!)