Daughter had accident in soft play help!

[BusyCat]

My child has been potty training for around 3/4 weeks now. They only had 3 accidents the whole time so was definitely ready after a few failed attempts. Shes 3.5 years old

Today before leaving my child they went to the potty and done a substantial pee. Then we got to soft play I took them to toilet and they said they didnt need but tried. Within 5 mins of being there they had an accident. She told me straight away and was near to the entrance in and out the soft play. It is a small one so can have eyes on. I had her younger daughter with me also so bundled them up to change and tell staff. As I was walking out a grandad grabbed my arm and starting moaning that the whole place will need cleaned that its ridiculous shes had an accident. He went on and on. I could see my daughter picking up on this and I really tried to explain to her accidents happen and encourage going to potty/toilet. Once I came back from telling staff and changing her. He greeted me again to say staff still weren't here and that she my daughter shouldn't be going back in till shes not having accidents. I told him I told staff im trying to manage both my kids safely this soft play is in a cafe there is hot drinks etc. I genuinely didnt know what he wanted me to do. Another grandparent said to him shes told staff they will be.coming just leave it now. I was on the verge of tears and just got my stuff and left.

Was I wrong to take her to soft play? Would other parents not have done this so soon? I feel so guilty

You're definitely the odd one here, @Bobiverse

@BusyCat Sorry the guy gave you such a hard time!

I honestly wouldn’t worry about it. These things happen with kids! DS had his 4th birthday party at a soft play centre and a friends child (4.5yo) who had been fully potty trained since about 2.5yo had an accident! Staff didn’t bat an eyelid. It got cleaned up, as did the child, and everyone continued having fun.
We’ve also been in soft play when a child threw up in the ball pit 🫠 - obviously much more of a hassle - but again, these things happen with kids.

I personally wouldnt put mine back in a pull up once potty trained. The only times DS wore a pull up after being potty trained was for bed as he wasn’t dry at night until much older. And one time we had to do a 9 hour car journey when he had only been trained about 6m - we stopped every hour for a wee but I knew he would fall asleep at some point and that would be when he was likely to wet. But I was able to explain to him “it’s just incase you fall asleep - you still need to tell me you need a wee if you’re awake and we’ll stop”.

My dc never ever put anything on other than normal pants as soon as we were potty training. Except to sleep in.

Its a soft play. Accidents happen.

Kids have accidents ! Don’t beat yourself up about it. I personally wouldn’t be putting my toddler in pull ups again once we’re out of them in the day as she would get confused, and refuse 🤣

My daughter was almost 3, very well toilet trained, when we went to a trampoline/soft play place. Within about 10 minutes of being there she had an accident while in a rope tunnel suspended high above a ball pit. Rained down like a waterfall on kids below. It was super busy and they had to close the whole area to clean it. I was mortified at the time but now it's one of the funniest parenting stories I have.

I used cloth pull ups at this point. They catch a fair bit of wee but feel wet so not like a disposable.

Totally agree with this. Keep her in pants, no pull ups, and keep getting out and about.
Newly trained little ones will have the odd accident. It’s a bit of wee, easily cleaned up and such a non issue.

😆😆😆 that is hilarious

Oh god, it's soft play. Can you imagine the germs in those places? I don't think one wee is going to make much of a difference lol.

You're fine OP, don't stress.

of course accidents happen but I'm not sure I'd be doing soft play etc while she is just learning. Park and playground etc are fine but if she peed in the ball pit etc she would shut the place down for the day for a deep clean so I get why staff were a bit allergic particularly if they thought that you were planning on letting get run back in after you had cleaned her up .
give it a couple of weeks I think .

Accidents happen. Don’t put her in pull ups.

It's been so long since I potty trained my kids I don't have a better response than others here to the actual event but I just wanted to say that even if you were completely in the wrong and it was all your fault, try not to worry about it because nobody is born knowing how to potty train a kid and get on with life while doing it.

Having kids is very very much a learning experience isn't it and you are bound to trip up sometimes. In the grand scheme of things nothing bad has happened. Wee in the softplay is nothing like a toddler loose in the middle of a busy road, for example. The grandfather was just anxious about his own stuff no doubt.

What a horrible man.

You are doing a great job and you don’t need pull ups. I only used them for stuff like long car journeys or theme parks for queues when we started potty training. It will just confuse them otherwise. People managed for decades without them!

You did all the right stuff taking her before etc

🤣🤣🤣

It happens. The granddad was totally uncalled for. BUT potty training is a long haul and it’s absolutely fine to put on pull ups for something like soft play. In fact, I’d highly advise it if you don’t want lose your marbles in the coming months.

Not at home, no - but it’s fine to use them as belt and braces for something like soft play or a meal out with family at a restaurant etc.

this is the advice I WISH someone had given me when I practically lost my mind over it (my eldest was hard to train!)

It was an accident OP, do not worry at all. Some people just like to have a go at others.

Many years ago when mine were small, at a swimming lesson, toddler had a swim nappy on and did an enormous poo before pulling down their own swim nappy to let it out into the pool. I was mortified as I had to alert the lifeguard to said now floating poo, the pool had to be evacuated and cleaned. I could not apologise enough. My older one thought it was the funniest thing ever and took to relaying the story to everyone at every opportunity for about two weeks. We all gather these battle stories, and it's so common even @Cactiiii had exactly the same experience!

Pull ups didn’t exist when I potty trained mine - not many/and soft play places either tbf.
sometimes the act of trying to wee when the bladder isn’t full can lead to accidents or the urge to go quite soon afterwards.
It’s tricky and obviously not ideal when little ones have accidents but my dd worked at a soft play centre and wee/vomit were regular occurrences (ball pit was the worst 😱) and occasionally poo.
The grandad was belligerent and frankly a bully. I’m sorry your dd had to listen to him complaining.

Ignore the idiotic posters op. Of course you can’t stay in the house and putting them back in pull ups can be confusing and set their progress back. If it makes you feel better my friends dd had been potty trained for quite some time but still ended up shitting herself in soft play, friend had to crawl through with wipes and spray cleaning up.
It happens all the time and is one of many reasons I feel grim after visiting these places.
Id have told the man to mind his own business.

Soft play is already like training for Lord of the Flies 😂 Just be glad you and your children made it out alive! One bastard (and I know grandparents can be any range of ages so chances are he’s probably been a bastard all his life - was one at 30 and will be one at 80) shouldn’t be allowed to shake either your confidence in your parenting or your daughter’s confidence in potty training. You’re doing everything you can! I can tell from your OP, asking what else you could have done, that you probably had that horrible feeling we all get when we feel we’re being judged when we’ve already done absolutely everything we can; it’s a fucking awful feeling at any age or stage of life (as a parent, as an employee or possible employer, as an adult or even before reaching adulthood).

Let this one go, @BusyCat - it sounds like you’ve already given your approach a lot of thought, you know your child best and her nursery supports your decision (that she won’t respond well to pull ups), and that’s that. You’ll feel like this a lot as both your daughters grow. Remember: if they’re warm, fed, loved (and know it), and you’ve met all their basic needs, then they’re very fortunate kids and you’re a good mum (even if they’re crying or tantruming or telling you they hate you at age 3 or 13).

She doesn't have to be on house arrest! Lots of families have no choice but to take their kids out during the potty training stages.
She will get there in time. She is very little and trying very hard, doing very well by the sound of it, but accidents happen even when they are much older than her.
You aren't banned from soft play or anywhere else. It just needs managing.

I always imagined that those places were inch-deep in piss frankly. Don't worry about it. It's not a champagne bar.

It happens. The staff will be used to it happening. Don't give it any more headspace now.

In future, perhaps pull up (those "toilet training" ones that feel wet) over underwear just for soft play. Soft play is exciting, plus a bit of a maze which can take time to get out of and is a nightmare if you really need a wee. Plus obstacles that you may have to go over stomach first (putting pressure on a developing strength bladder) which can cause accidents. I always used to do toilet training pull up over normal pants for soft play or even in the car when doing lots of motorway driving.

Posted too soon. As someone who worked in a softplay as a weekend job during my student years, toileting accidents were a weekly occurrence. Between accidental nappy leaks and nappy blow outs, toilet training children accidents and older children D&V incidents (yes some people do indeed bring their children to soft play when recovering or coming down with D&V) there was always some cleaning of some bodily fluid required. The staff won't think any more about it.

She won’t be the first and she won’t be the last. It happens. Pee is mostly sterile and is by no means the least disturbing bodily fluid to get all over a soft play. And pull ups (excluding for sleep) are not recommended for potty training as they send mixed messages/confuse the DC. The only thing maybe I would have done differently is letting her go in to play before having had a wee there. If she didn’t go the first time she tried then I would have said let’s have a snack then try the loo again in 5 minutes.