37 month old not wanting to do it!!!

[Candymanmummy]

Hello my ds is 37 months old I have been trying to potty him for nearly a year! I've Bern using huggies pull up and he just use to them now. I stated off training with a mobile phone which he got on really well with but started yo demand phone all the time so I stopped that and only gave phone or tablet as a reward.if he went.

He's now stared to become hysterical when taking him now. We may get 1 wee a day in potty. I'm very embarrassed about this as he's.starting nursery in a few says.

Am I doing something wrong please help

3 year old.
Your child is 3.

He can't tell me when he wants to go as he has limited speech still

Honestly I don't know as mine was trained much younger, but not wanting to ignore. If he's really resistant I'd suggest putting away all potties and all mention of it for a month or two, then going cold turkey. No nappies apart from night time, you could get him involved in 'giving them away for babies who need them' or something like that. Then stay home for a few days, he has no pants on, and let him basically learn by having accidents. Look up oh crap or similar.

If his speech is delayed, is it possible he could have other delays which might affect his ability to be potty trained? Look up ERIC, it's a bladder and bowel foundation, they'll have some useful advice.

He probably wasn’t ready a year ago and you should have stopped and waited.

He can communicate a need to wee or poo in a different way other than words. My 16 month old tells me she’s done a poo by patting her nappy, for example. So the lack of speech isn’t the reason.

I would stop trying for a month or so and then find a method and stick to it. I have no idea why you’d use a mobile phone as a method. Never heard of that one - avoid. Sticker chart or chocolate buttons is more typical. There are proper methods like Oh Crap you could use.

He might find seeing his peers use the potty/toilet at nursery provides an extra motivating factor.

And please don’t refer to him as a 37 month old. “Just turned 3” is fine.

trained with a phone, eh?

A mum at a playgroup I attended said to use a mobile.phone while he's on the potty watching YouTube.

37 months?? He's 3. Three years. Not 37 months.

Quite

I’m failing to see what’s wrong with the Oh Crap method that many have been doing for years and years?

a 3 year old shouldn’t even have access to a phone or tablet.

Sorry for the 37 months qoute I get it!!! He's 3 just use to saying it that way

One of my twins was non verbal until about 3.5yrs and he is training now, having just turned 4. He has autism which was diagnosed at age 2, and is really undersensitive to vestibular and interoceptive senses. Interception is the one that made potty training almost impossible for the first few years. (Moreso than being non verbal). I take him every 30 mins when he's at home. Nursery do the same. I have moved him from pull up nappies into training pants (these are thickly padded soft cotton pants, washable). Because of his sensory issues he doesn't know when he's about to wee or poo, it can just come out. With the soft training pants he feels the wee land on the pants a lot quicker and will then go to the toilet (most times)! I distract him while he's on there, so he'll stay longer, and I also ask him to try for a poo.
Sorry I'm not sure if this helps at all with your issue but I wanted to send solidarity, and really recommend the cotton padded pants as a transition.
Good luck x

I bribed my two year old with chocolate buttons- one for a wee, two for a poo.

My DD was quite late despite lots of focus and showing signs she was ready. We worked with her preschool to regularly ask her if she needed the loo, and she wore pants and had accidents. Then when she was about 3 y and 4 months (40 months 😅) it all suddenly clicked into place.

Definitely not through laziness on her, our, or preschool's part. Some kids just take longer than others. DD learned to read earlier than her mates, other kids walked earlier, others could talk earlier. That's kids for you!

Put him in pants, not pull-ups. Go shopping with him and get him to pick ones he likes.

How on earth did we manage to bring up kids before phones.....he doesn't need a phone on the potty, that's totally gross.

I would be more concerned with his speech to be honest as you should really be having proper little chats by 3. That might be worth contacting the HV about.

Get rid of the pull ups and get him to choose his own pants. Make a big deal of them! Accept that you'll have a week of tough times and just go for it. Take him to the toilet every two hours. Feeling horrid when he wees or poos is part of the process.

Every single day I am surrounded by parents shoving a phone in their children’s faces, often the toddler is trying to give it them back and saying no! Honestly I know it sounds like I’m being out of touch but I feel so so sorry for these children. Speech delay is even more of a reason to be TALKING to your child. Interacting!

we’ve got children now starting school (my best friend is a teacher of many decades) with American accents as they’ve been raised on YouTube from being a baby.

its absolutely awful.

Already done that been speech therapy already and said bit to worry

Not to worry

OP, if you are genuinely struggling and don’t understand how this stuff is detrimental, please please speak to your Health Visitor for some parenting guidance and some potty training advice.

He's 3.

Plenty of people use TV while their child sits on the potty waiting for ‘that moment.’

Re 36 months - there is a massive difference between just turned 3 and nearly 4, not least in terms of school readiness. This thread is just bullying tbh

Not every child takes to Oh Crap and not every parent wants to use it either. I hate the way it’s pushed on here.

I would just keep trying @Candymanmummy , or have a break if you need one. My now four year old is reliable day and night but it was not an easy process by any means and I do find MN is not always particularly kind to parents of children struggling with this aspect.