37 month old not wanting to do it!!!

[Candymanmummy]

Hello my ds is 37 months old I have been trying to potty him for nearly a year! I've Bern using huggies pull up and he just use to them now. I stated off training with a mobile phone which he got on really well with but started yo demand phone all the time so I stopped that and only gave phone or tablet as a reward.if he went.

He's now stared to become hysterical when taking him now. We may get 1 wee a day in potty. I'm very embarrassed about this as he's.starting nursery in a few says.

Am I doing something wrong please help

Unfortunately, that's terrible advice, totally distracts him from learning/feeling sensations etc.. maybe as a reward when he's done but only intermittently, start afresh

Thank you

In thirty years time there’s going to be a desperate Mumnetter wondering why her DP spends an hour taking a dump every day 😂

Is he potty trained?

She gave you terrible advice! It’s not an armchair it’s a small toilet. Get rid of the potty now, he’s too old for it. Put a training seat on the toilet, get a step, and go straight into pants - no pull ups!

Don’t you have a mind of your own? Do some research and see some different techniques, non of which involve a phone or tablet!

Wow I'm disgusted how some of u have treated me! I'm a very anxious first time mum and was asking for help. I'm sorry if I have written this out in a way ur nit happy with but that is just the way I am. I'll no longer ask mumsnet for help as alot of u are just sounding like bullies.

OP do you suspect ND along with the speech delay? This can cause many issues with potty training - I started DC1 from 2.5 years as they knew the sensations but weren't fully dry until 7. No one could understand why but recently diagnosed ND.

I would talk to your HV and do some research if you do suspect this as training can be achieved through different ways. Don't be embarrassed.

Ignore the pp with nothing valuable to say to help!

My cousins ex wanted him to buy their child an iPad for Christmas. The child’s just trurnef one. He told her no. His ex was livid lol 😂 A one year old getting an iPad, the mother prob wanted it.

37 months? 3

Nothing valuable? I think it’s valuable to be shocked that a parent thinks it’s normal to sit a child on a potty with a phone playing YouTube? If the bar of parenting is that low then I’m sorry but a level of embarrassment etc should be happening so people change. These poor children.

He's a big boy. No need for a potty at 3 or to make him sit for wees.

Get him a step stool and let him wee in the toilet.

Chuck a ping pong ball down and tell him if he can hit the ball he gets a sweet.

Little boys love aiming their wee streams ime and the game can then become habit.

I’m in a similar situation, what training pants do you use ?

Your judgement is pretty unnecessary imo. My autistic son only started siting on the toilet instead of screaming at it when we let him watch YouTube on it to begin with!

I'm so sorry for some of the truly rude and non relevant responses you've had OP. Especially those who comment on the 'level of parenting these days'. Probably from parents of adult children's who are so far removed from all the hard times and the same people who would have smacked their kids... Anyhoo

About your 37m old, I would say don't panic of be embarrassed. You are not doing anything wrong. The fact he is starting nursery soon may be a good thing as your son will 1) get help from the nursery staff and 2) watch other children who are potty trained.

For reference, my 45 month old (😊😊) will still only sit on the potty to do a poo cos he's scared.

Ho with your gut and don't force him. I agree about not giving him a phone while on the potty but maybe use it as a treat after (any child who has never looked at a TV or smart phone must have all the time in the world!!)

@Newbeer but he only knows about YouTube because he's been exposed to it. If he hadn't been exposed to it, then it's more likely he'd be satisfied with a book. Screen time is so detrimental to children's development, particularly younger children.

Exactly this!
A Three year old .
Why use months ? (Because it sounds more babyish?)

Pull ups are probably to blame partly as so comfortable (?)
Most modern disposables make having a crap or wee in them not be uncomfortable, so no incentive to use the potty or smaller child seat on the lavatory.
Potty training used to be done far earlier - It’s easier then, place a baby on the potty and verbally praise when a wee or poo is done, then use the adult loo with baby seat.

I can assure you we tried books. I think screen time is demonised when it can actually be a helpful tool. It’s also helped his speech..

All parents were first time parents at one time- but we followed what our friends and fellow parents did.

Baby clinics also gave advice on potty training once a baby could sit.

Sit a baby on a potty with a picture book not a device.

Talking and reading stories with children unless they are hearing impaired massively helps their speech and vocabulary

Plonking a device in their hands so young isn’t good.

Solidarity, OP.

My son was about a month older than yours when we finally potty trained him after several abortive attempts.

Have you tried planning for 4-5 days at home and just going naked from the waist down?

I think once you've decided to go for it you have to just not go back to pull ups other than for sleep.

We also let him sit on the potty with a phone watching YouTube. He doesn't usually watch screens at all. It did help motivate him to sit on the potty. We stopped doing it as soon as he'd got the hang of it switched to smarties every time he successfully used the potty/toilet for a few weeks before eventually ditching the rewards altogether.

Also @Candymanmummy have you tried getting a toilet seat reducer rather than using a potty? Sometimes I think when they're bigger it's better to just move straight to using the toilet. Especially for boys because you can teach them to pee standing up.

There's a big difference between just turned 3 and almost 4, especially for something like potty training.

You have to actively interact with a young child, talking with them, reading to them , talking about the pictures,not just leaving them alone with a book.

Nothing matches actual human interaction with a young child- their brains are so receptive at that age.

Try to block out the ones who've escaped from the cunt farm. There's some decent advice on the thread too.

Many ND children use screens as a means to regulate, if it helps with potty training I am not going to judge. It isn't something that I used but whatever helps.

Your contribution isn't helping or valuable, if you'd have said, 'actually I don't think the screens help why not try this' then that would have been helpful and valuable.