What happens to little ones starting primary school in pull ups/ nappies ?

[Wishithoughtbeforeispeak]

I feel a complete fail as a parent my DS is going to start school this week in pull ups ! We have tried everything, we've seen the health visitor about 12 months ago and she gave me a range of thing to try and nothing has worked. He is great with poos hasn't had an accident for six months if not longer yet seems completely unable to tell if he needs a wee. I even take him to the toilet with me and as I'm going ask him if he needs to go he will say no and then when I put him on there anyway he will wee saying he was bursting! I'm worried sick about him going to school in nappies as I'm unsure how it will even work. He was at nursery till July and was able to stay dry there in pants for the last month or so before he left but as soon as I got him home he would be wet within half hour, I put him in pants at home he will not only wee himself but then just sit there playing in the wet clothes / puddle as if it hadn't happened so doesn't even seem to know he's wet ? My mum took him for the day and tried as I was convinced it was just me as he could manage at nursery and he went through so many pants and clothes without knowing he had done it she had to return to my house to get more by mid afternoon ! We have now gone all summer in pull ups as he really has no idea he is seeing in pants and will wee himself in shops at home where ever! I'm at my wits end I don't know how he could stay dry at nursery yet no where else? I kind of hold out hope he may be the same at school but that doesn't help me get him dry at home I managed to train my elder DS before the age of 4 yet my youngest seems impossible. Does anyone have any experience of what happen at school. If they are still in nappies ? Or has anyone else had this with their child ?

fab school.

Oh Op that is a lovely update, the school sounds lovely.

My dd was potty trained quite early, but she was terrible for accidents, unless someone sent her to the loo she always forgot.
During reception I think she had an accident most days. I put spare clothes in her school bag and worked with her TA who reminded her to go every break (she would always say she didn't need to)

By the end of reception we had progressed to a note in her lunchbox reminding her.

She was never once teased, no-one batted an eyelid, she had friends and there was never a problem, so please don't worry about other kids, they will all take it in theri stride.

That's really good news for you. At my DC's school they used to phone the parents to come and deal with it.

As a parent who's tiny 4 year old is in a similar position (below 0.4th centile, 13kg, wearing 2/3 yr old uniform) I want to say you are not alone.

DD2 starts school on Monday. She has hypermobility and low muscle tone and is being investigated for slow growth.

She was in pull ups until 2 weeks ago. The biggest thing that helped with the weeing was to give her a couple of big drinks of water rather than constant sipping. She was having trouble processing the feedback from her bladder because of the low tone and could only feel the need to go if it was super full.

We still haven't sorted out pooing on the toilet with any real success. Again, it may be related to muscle tone. School are aware, but we will need to have a meeting with SENCO on Monday to update them with where she is and what she might need help with. She is going to start school in pants and see how it goes.

DD2 is also a super fussy eater, so we are going to give school lunch a try, but willing to do packed lunch if she is not eating anything.

I wouldn't bother with HVs. They were very unhelpful with my daughter. It was my daughter's nursery that triggered the referral for physio and on to the paediatrician in the end. Speak to your GP about your concerns, look on the Eric site for advice and speak to school to make them aware of what they can do to help.
Good luck.

White that is terrible. How can you, for your own good conscience leave a child sat in poo whilst the parents get there?

Really glad school has got off to such a good start.

DD2 was potty trained early but had lots of wee and poo accidents during Reception and I have to say the teachers and other kids didn't bat an eyelid. Other kids are actually pretty accepting at that age.

Good luck

Really happy to hear that everything is going well OP.

My ds's school wouldn't change soiled pants, only wet. They told me it was because they didn't have the teaching staff or facilities, saying it would take 2 teachers, one to change, one to chaperone. Luckily it's only been a handful of times but I dread a phone call from school.