Almost 4 but still has to be told to go to the toilet

[Dolallytats]

DD is 4 in a couple of months. She has been reluctant to potty train although we didn't start until she was 3. I still have to tell her to sit on the toilet several times a day and she doesn't go voluntarily (she has a couple of times but in general she only goes when I tell her) She doesn't seem bothered by wet knickers and will poo in her knickers too. She doesn't want to stop what she is doing so ignores it.

I try not to get cross and change her, explain she needs to wee and poo in the toilet and then let her go about her day. I have 'Oh for Goodness sake'd at her a few times as it is not unusual to have 2 pairs of wet knickers a day. A poo a few times a week.

She is my 3rd child but has definitely been the hardest to potty train. She is supposed to start school in September and I am worried she won't be dry or able to use the toilet to poo.

I have tried star charts, bribery with chocolate and toys, picking out lovely underwear and we seem to be no further forward.

Please help!!

We had a poo problem with a 3 and a half years old. He wouldn't use the toilet or pot at all for number 2s. We solved it with a star chart with a trip to the cinema at the end of it - he had never been to the cinema before. After this, we had about two more accidents and all goes well now. It's so difficult, I know but hopefully she will "get it" soon.

Sometimes I think getting a little cross is no,bad thing. Greater clarity of message and understood by young child. A nice, gentle explanation doesn't sound like they're doing anything wrong. I also think they simply forget when engrossed in something so need encouragement to go at set times - before leaving home, before meals, after a drink but before leaving cafe etc.