4 year old poos in nappy - do I bluff to his future school?

[1BunOldie]

Argh! Help! To my son I'm pretend I'm calm but he starts school in September and will only poo in a nappy. He will wee on a toilet happily (we have integrated child/adult seats). He hangs on until he's home from nursery to poo. He tells me he is scared that the poo will come out over the top of the loo and him. I am panicking because I understand that school can ask you defer if not potty trained. His future school have asked us to fill in forms; there is a question asking whether he is potty trained. Should I bluff or confess? We have tried everything that we know might work: bribery with sweets and a trip to Hamley's toy shop when he succeeds; nappy in a potty to catch the poo; explaining that the poo will not touch him. Advice gratefully received.

I think op you've got the right idea- he's still very young and while for some children being firm and just taking the nappies away will work I know of a number of children who have ended up with constipation & being on laxitives for years. I think continuing to poo & not withholding is the most important thing! The details of where poo happens will work out in time. You've had some good advice on here. Plus, many children won't poo at school/ if they do one poo a day they could just continue at home.

Thank you further input. On holiday but I'll look at Meatfree's URL on return. Yes, it's true that I have the type of (dear) child whose fears go deeper inside when forced into something. He can be persuaded - even when a bit unwilling - but not until he's ready. He walked very late at 26 months. I'm convinced that it was the nursery pushing him to do it that caused him to walk later than he would have. I asked them to stop after months of him looking very dejected every time they encouraged him. Within a week he was walking. Three weeks later he was running. He is literally hysterical when I seat him to poo without a nappy. I'm less fearful about school now because the more I get to know them the more I realise that they have a very progressive attitude.