Potty training success at home disaster out in public

[Louise9207]

Hi, I'm in need of some advice I have been potty training my little boy for 2 weeks or so, absolutely fine at home will wee/poo whenever he needs. Had been taking him out and his been dry no accidents, but! .. He has a serious fear of public toilets, he is so scared of the Noise of the hand dryer that his associating the toilet with the fear. He will sit on the big toilet at home, won't wee but will sit then flush but once he see's that we're going to a 'public toilet' he will scream and panic and of course will not wee, and gets himself in a right state for instance today, we were out for 2-3 hours offered potty 4/5 times he refused, took him to a supermarkets toilets he did scream, he watched my friends little boy go for a wee no problem but as soon as it was his time he screamed.. I had brought his potty with me.. Tried to sit him on both potty and toilet but was still crying. So then taking him to the park to play he said wee wee but just wet himself before I could even get the potty ( changed clothes ) and he got so upset that we had to head back home. Please help me what can I do

I could almost have written this, my ds has this fear of public loos for the exact reason - the hand driers! He started freaking out even when we'd go in for nappy changes so I was dreading potty training. And same, doing well at home but not so good out. What I chanced upon in the end was this Xmas decoration he found in sainsburys, it's like a ball on a stick and inside the Xmas tree whirrs and lights up to music (a bit like the wand that Bing gets Sula if you've seen that episode!) anyway he was so mesmerised by it that he actually went for a potty wee while holding it in the public toilets in sainsburys. Obviously it's not a long term solution but I'm hoping it'll help him see now he can do it. I've not been brave enough to try a second time yet, currently on the back foot with the whole bloody potty thing after a bout of illness. Best of luck!

Yes, same problem here too. Things that have helped so far:

• A reward chart worked well at the start of potty training. So to get over the initial refusal, we evolved it into him getting to move up one space whenever he went to the toilet in public.

• I reassure him loads that he won't have to use the hand drier as we can use paper towels if available or toilet paper if not. This seems to be his main fear. Also, a helpful side effect of this is that sometimes other people overhear us and if there's a choice of drier or towels, go for the towel and smile at DS or make a nice comment!

• I've discovered which toilets are quieter or don't have driers at places we go to regularly with a choice of toilets. E.g. the M&S in our town only has paper towels so I always ask if he needs to go when we're near there and remind him it's a nice quiet toilet.

• If we do go into toilets with a drier going, he's started putting his coat hood up to muffle the sound a bit and make him feel a bit safer. Not a long term solution as he won't always have his coat on, but will be good for a few months!