My 4 1/2 year old is so scared of the toilet!!

[sweetblonde40]

I need any advice possible. My 4 1/2 year old is absolutely terrified of the toilet. He is still in pull ups, knows when he is going to do a wee as he will stand up and tell us but if you put him anywhere near the toilet he has a massive meltdown!! Im at my wits end now as he starts full time school in September and really dont know what to do. We are awaiting a paed appt to see if he has mild autism but need help now. We have tried everything I think

I had the same problem with my SN 7 year old, he was 5 before he would wee and 6 before he did his first poo.

Now at 7 we are through the worst of it but he will still need nappies if we go out somewhere "Strange".

I have no advice but i want you to know you are not alone.

Thank you. What did you do about school? Was he diagnosed with anything? xx

Hi, my second son was the same with doing his poos in the loo, he would stand to wee, but flat blank refused to sit on the loo. With the help of the ERIC helpline (eneureis) we got there, but I really remember the worry. You will get there in the end I promise.

We started saying he had to be in the bathroom to poo in the pull-ups, then touching the toilet, then hovering, and in the end I cut a hole in the pull-ups. Sounds crazy, but worked in the end. Good look

sweetblonde at the time he wasn't, The continence nurse helped the school set up a health care plan so someone was always onsite to do nappy changes.

Have you been to the doctor and asked to be referred to the continence service, that's the first step?

Thanks for all the advice. I think I might try getting him to wee in the bathroom with the pull ups on. I keep trying to blackmail him with a bubble machine and a trampoline but hes not giving in yet lol xx

My nearly 5 year old was like this.

He would only stand to do wees in the toilet, point blank refused to sit on toilet for poos.

We didn't allow pull ups for wees as he was potty trained and could tell us. There were a lot of accidents but we just changed him with no fuss in silence, when he did manage a wee in the toilet he got stickers. School followed this through too.

Poos were harder, we saw paediatrician, school nurse etc and all suggestions where met with a resounding no! Even the promise of a trip to the toy store didn't work. He was put on movicol, no pull ups again so it got messy. But a few weeks later he announced he needed a poo in the toilet and we have had no accidents since. We are now three weeks clear of accidents.

Sometimes they have to decide to do it themselves with no pressure but allowing the pull ups when they know they need to go gives them no incentive to use the toilet if you see what I mean. No child likes to be wet or dirty.

My ds has no known SN though and we followed the advice of professionals to help him past this fear.