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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

DS 4, should he wear a nappy on a long car journey or not?

29 replies

nosleeptilever · 09/11/2014 22:41

DS is basically potty trained but has a bladder the size of a walnut and waits until he's bursting to tell me he needs a pee. He regularly has pee accidents because he doesn't have great awareness when he needs to go (or he's just not bothered). DH thinks we will be able to just find a place to stop and let him go. I think it will end in tears, Piss on his seat or even a car crash. last time we tried this he screamed because he had to go so bad and DH took ages to find a safe place to stop which was very, very stressful for everyone.
what do you do on long journeys with your almost potty trained dcs?

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plantsitter · 09/11/2014 22:45

Sorry but I wouldn't. I'd make lots of regular loo stops instead. I'm all for waiting to potty train until they're ready, etc, but thinking about wees and when you need them on a long journey is part and parcel of being a big boy I'm afraid.

RoganJosh · 09/11/2014 22:50

We used to put them back in a nappy for a long journey. They understood why and it never caused them to regress with training. We will do it with the youngest too I imagine.

Wolfiefan · 09/11/2014 22:50

Regular wee stops
Take a potty
Waterproofing under his bum!
Spare clothes, wipes and sacks

MrsAtticus · 09/11/2014 22:52

Agree with last poster. I made mistake of putting ds back in nappies for a couple of days when he had a dodgy tummy on holiday but it just confused him and resulted in more accidents. Perhaps limit fluid intake and stop regularly for him to try to go even if he hasn't asked to.

fuckwitteryhasform · 09/11/2014 22:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RoganJosh · 09/11/2014 22:59

But, thinking about it, we always did night potty training later, so mine were used to the idea of 'pants except when x'. So if they aren't in nappies at all, or you think they wouldn't understand the logic, then I suppose it's different.

Littlefish · 09/11/2014 22:59

I wouldn't. I would, however, sit him on one of those bed mats. You can cut them into quarters so he is just sitting on a small bit.

On the 'bladder the size of a walnut' thing - does he drink plenty of water usually? From what I've read on here, frequent weeing can be helped by ensuring the child drinks plenty of water in order to gradually stretch the bladder so that it can hold more wee.

girliefriend · 09/11/2014 23:00

Maybe sit him on a towel but I wouldn't put back in a nappy as could be confusing.

Original poster

nosleeptilever · 09/11/2014 23:03

argh! I hadn't even thought about poos! his come fast and loose (sorry, tmi) although thankfully he always gets it in the toilet.
I don't think it would make him regress, we've been at this for 1.5 yrs now so pretty established. My biggest worry is that DH will be driving and he gets really stressed out when ds cries in the car. we're going up the A9 which has limited stopping possibilities in parts.
I'm going to have to think on this one..

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Original poster

nosleeptilever · 09/11/2014 23:05

Littlefish that's interesting. We struggle to get him to drink much water. Will redouble efforts on that front!

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fishfingerSarnies · 09/11/2014 23:07

I put my dd in a nappy if I won't be able to stop for a wee. She doesn't like it and asks to stop which we try and do, but it means of she does go it's no biggy. She's only just 2 though and still wears nappies at night.

mausmaus · 09/11/2014 23:11

I wouldn't.
regular stops and 'force' bribe dc to go at each stop.

Original poster

nosleeptilever · 09/11/2014 23:22

Thanks so much everyone we're going for it! Throwing caution to the wind and making it a nappy free journey.

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InaPuckle · 09/11/2014 23:29

A towel to sit on sounds a good idea but strange that you struggle to get him to drink much water. Does he need more water than he drinks of his own accord? So long as he's not having sweetened drinks and has water available then there shouldn't be a problem.

Original poster

nosleeptilever · 09/11/2014 23:33

he has water available and he doesn't like juice. He just doesn't drink it and I find myself prompting him alot during the day but then he either refuses or just has a sip. He loves milk though and will gulp that down but there is only so much milk that is good for a kid.

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rosdearg · 09/11/2014 23:37

No. Just do what you can to protect the car seat (some kind of cover). Make frequent stops when you can, pack a travel potty, pack millions of changes of clothes and thank the lord for washing machines.
Sounds like your dh is part of the problem with the "getting stressed" stuff. Don't put a 4 year old back in a nappy because your husband can't manage stress.

Make a huge song and dance about every minor victory (like every routine stop where he wees in a potty / loo). Plan lots of them and have bunting and marching bands when he does it. I think he could surprise you.

OutragedFromLeeds · 09/11/2014 23:40

The weeing frequently thing may just be because he doesn't understand the difference between 'I could do with a wee' and 'I must go NOW'. At some point they need to learn to hold it and wait for an appropriate time. If he's been out of nappies for 18 months then I'd say now is as good as ever.

With the screaming/shouting, I think you need to say kindly, but firmly 'DS needing a wee is NOT an emergency. Be quiet please. Daddy cannot concentrate on driving with you screaming'. There is no need for that at 4 years old (unless he is in genuine pain, use your judgement obviously).

FanSpamTastic · 09/11/2014 23:42

I used to put their pants on as normal then put a pair of pull ups on over the top for safety. If they did pee their pants they could tell me but it didn't make a mess so less stress all round!

MissBattleaxe · 09/11/2014 23:48

No, don't put him back in nappies. Toilet training is learning about recognising the need and allowing time to find a toilet. If you give him a nappy again, no he might not regress, but he's not learning anything either. At 4 he will be in school soon and there will be no shortcuts then.

A wee before he gets in the car, a stop on the way and a wee at the end should be enough, unless the journey is incredibly long.

unclerory · 10/11/2014 00:02

A trip on the A9 could well be a very long trip depending how far north/south the OP is going hardened veteran of the A9 from the days when trips south included a stop for an icecream while you waited for the boat to take you across the Moray Firth to Inverness. I'm going to disagree with everyone and saying putting him in a pull up for a long car journey will relieve the stress for everyone and doesn't stop you insisting on using the toilet when you stop at the House of Bruar. I see no point putting a child in a situation where they end up soiling themselves and their clothes and the carseat because they haven't yet got sufficient control to hold it in for any length of time.

Piratejones · 10/11/2014 08:04

IMO If you are having to question whether you should put him in a nappy, then you probably should, you know him best and there is obviously doubts about his ability to "make it" in time.

It sounds to me like a nappy would be better and less stressful for everyone.

icanhaveadarksideifyouwantmeto · 10/11/2014 08:08

it depends on how you 'sell' it to DS.

Im putting these on you 'just in case' i know you are a big boy and have managed every day, but this isnt every day this is our special trip. Noone needs to know about our justincase, its just for today, justincase etc etc etc

icanhaveadarksideifyouwantmeto · 10/11/2014 08:12

your husband is driving and i would say that if there is anything you can do to limit the stress he is feeling is good... becuase if he loses concentration at a tricky moment.

this is about managing the scenario you HAVE, not how it should be ( he should be able to hold it, DH should be able to drive etc)

No point getting anywhere, pissy and stressy, where is the fun in that? id rather not go

Chandon · 10/11/2014 08:21

You sound way stressed about this! Already feeling nervous on your DH behalf.

I would not put a diaper on a 4 yr old, but just do regular wee stops.

However, If he can't hold on for even a few minutes he is not really potty trained yet, and in that case needs a nappy.

The key for this journey to be a success is for You to stay calm. To just change him after an accident and not make a big deal out of it.

You sounds so stressed to me though, that I am not sure this is possible?

Long journeys with young kids are sadly never that much fun... Audio books help to distract kids

Original poster

nosleeptilever · 11/11/2014 21:42

Thanks everyone, we did it! cut a pull up in quarters to put under him, took a pee stop every 30 min or so and he made it.
Mind you it took us an extra hour to get there but it was a small price to pay.

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