DS 3.5 not interested in potty training, refuses to wear pants, insists on a nappy - help!

[hallamoo]

Just that really. I have tried everything to encourage; been shopping, he has chosen his own pants, we've talked about using the potty/toilet, he happily sits on the potty when encouraged, but not long enough for anything to happen. I've tried bribery! He flatly refuses to wear the pants! He insists on wearing a nappy, otherwise he gets quite distressed.

Any tips? I'm sick of changing (and buying) nappies.

Does he go to nursery? I found that seeing other boys in pants really encouraged my son.
In the end I resorted to a chocolate button for a wee and two for a poo.
If you are in the house try no nappy and no pants so he get on and off the potty easily.

Yes, he's been at pre school for a year. He talks about his friends who wear pants and use the toilet but it's no incentive!

I think we'll have to bite the bullet and try and go commando at home.

I'm no stranger to bribery! I've been offering chocolate buttons to even sit on the potty!

Have you asked him when he will be ready? DS would only poo in nappies, and absolutely refused to use the loo or a potty. He said that he would start pooing in the loo when he was "big four", which he explained was when he wasn't at preschool any more but was ready to start reception. I decided to trust him, and agreed that this would be ok, while giving him plenty of opportunities to trey sooner if that was what he wanted. It wasn't. We talked from time to time about getting older and being ready, and talked about how we would celebrate when he was a boy who didn't need nappies any more.

On the last day of preschool, I reminded him that this was the time he said he would be ready. The next time he needed a poo, he went off, did it, wiped his bottom effectively and washed his hands!

So I think if you have a child who refuses, giving them a bit of control can be helpful. The Eric website is also very helpful - they gave me some very useful tips on very gradually preparing DS.

But at this time of year, going naked outdoors with a potty available but with no big pressure is probably a good way to go.

Does he know when he is having a wee in his nappy? This was the first sign my son was ready as he would tell me. We tried at first to wear nappies sometimes but it just got confusing. Going without nappies altogether worked for us. The washing machine was on constantly!

He knows when he's going, he gets very distressed if I suggest leaving his nappy off. I asked him when he thought he might use the potty or the toilet - he said 'never, I like nappies!'

Is there an activity he would like to start that he can't wear nappies to?

DD was able to start gymnastics once she was toilet trained and I found this to be a massive incentive for her.

Watching with interest. My son is just a few months younger than yours & shows zero interest. I was quite relaxed about his lack of interest, naively thinking one day he'll tell me when he's ready to stop wearing nappies. If he had his way he would stay in the same nappy all day. He will sit on the potty for a few seconds and then eventually ends up peeing on the floor. Nursery who were very relaxed are now pushing it. Have you had any luck OP?

yes Molly
familiar territory

Could you try putting underpants on over his nappy? Then make a huge fuss over what a big boy he is in his big boy pants and after a few weeks see if he'll wear just the big boy pants? Whenever I want DD to something she's more than happy to once I've told her that's what big girls do.