9 months of pooing in pants- i really need this to stop now

[SantaIAmSoFuckingRock]

i'm done with it. i'm done with peeling shitty trousers and pants of 2/3 times a day, running baths each time to clean him. i'm done with buying 14 pairs of pants a week ( i throw shitty ones out), i'm done with a bit of poo being left in the trousers and making the whole wash smell so i have to do it all again.

ds is 3.6. i started toilet training in march. pees are no problem but he will not poo on the toilet. he will sit on the toilet but wont poo on it even though he needs to go. he holds it in at school and at the CMers but at home he will just go in his pants or in the bath in the evening (loads of fun scooping bits of poo out!) he will tell me he doesn't need to go when i know he does. sometimes he will admit he does but refuses to sit on the loo. i've offered him the potty, same response. i've offered treats and stickers but he never gets any because he never goes in the toilet. i need to crack this. any advice?

Hi Santa,

Not sure I can offer much help, but a friend of mine went through a very similar thing with their DS to the point they actually took him to see a child phycologist. Their DS would pee no problem , but no poo. They had to put a nappy on him every time he needed to pop. Phycologist told them to cut a hole in the back of the nappy, but to sit him on the toilet and it worked. After a few weeks he started going without the nappy. Maybe you could try this with pants...it just might b a comfort thing for him??

Worth a try?? x x

thanks yommy, it's certainly worth a try. i have offered him nappies but he says he is a big boy ad wont wear it. i will try it with the pants and see how we get on. anything is worth a try at this point.

Bribe him. DD mastered peeing and being dry day and night in a week at 3yo. However poo was another matter. Nightmare. She wouldn't tell me she needed to go but hide to poo in her pants.

I made the mistake of telling her off and he started holding it. Poor girl would hold it in for days and be in agony. And the awful behaviour from her because she was in pain. It was killing me.

So I turned to bribery. Not a star chart with stickers and some far off reward but an immediate reward of a bag of choc buttons, mini bag of gummi bear type sweets and 1 little miss or mr men book for each poo. It sounds a lot and it was. However she stopped with holding within a week and withing two weeks was pooing in the toilet every single time. And after that she just started running to the loo and pooing and shouting for me to wipe her.

When I ran out or little miss books I just told her the shop had run out and she didn't ask again. I then phased out choc buttons and just gave her one or two sweets.

With some kids it takes a long time. My DS didn't ever want to poo in the toilet until his 4th birthday but even then it was still very hit and miss. It has improved slowly, he is now 7 and hasn't had a 'poo accident' in the last 6 months and it had been months since the previous one. We never got a sudden result but the space between accidents gradually increased.

He was very secretive about it, would deny needing to go, deny that he had been in his pants and could happily carry on playing oblivious. He wasn't always able to recognise the feeling that he needed to poo. When he started using the toilet it was pretty much only at home. He seemed to be able to hold on at school but sometimes had accidents at child minder or on the way home. On holidays he needed to be watched and taken to the toilet at an appropriate time, reassured that I would shut the door if he wanted/stand outside if he wanted or even go away.

I send you best wishes for the strength to deal with it and hope yours resolves soon. One thing that really really helped me was finding a friend who had the same problems.

i do bribe him, the 'treats' i mention is things like a chocolate cookie or his choice from the multipack of sweets. he has done the thing where he pretends his teddy has pooed in the toilet and i give teddy loads of praise and a cookie then ask ds if he wants tp go too. but he doesn't.

thank you fanny, that sounds very similar to my ds.