Four year old wetting herself at nursery, but not at home

[nanniemcphee]

Hi my four year old daughter has been going to nursery since she was 9 months old, however, she will not ask to go to the toilet or go on her own. She's fine at home and very rarely has any accidents. She is very shy and is not confident enough to ask for the toilet or go to the toilet on her own....any advice or ideas would be greatly received. I'm new to mumsnet so hope I've set this threat up correctly!

Sorry....I meant thread not threat! To add to my initial message....my daughter has also been looked after whilst I'm at work by her grandparents. She has a fabulous relationship with them, but, as with nursery, she will not ask when she needs to go to the toilet. We have tried everything from ignoring it, telling her off, star charts, treats, presents etc. She is due to start school in September and so we would like to try and find a solution before then. Thank you in advance for any help and advice.

i think you need to have words with the staff to take her to the toilet at certain intervals.

if it keeps happening im surprised they arnt doing this anyway.

Thanks.....they do take her regularly and sometimes she does go. She also has, on the odd occasion, taken herself to the loo and I think we've cracked it, but then it happens again.

I've just dropped her off at her grandparents house. She's drawn a picture on a piece of card and i've asked her to show this to my parents when she needs to go.....I'm hoping maybe this will help.

The only people she likes asking are me and her dad so I'm trying to think of a way that she can let the teachers at nursery and my parents know she needs to go without feeling uncomfortable about it..........any suggestions would be great!

I'm so glad I've found this thread!!!
My DD is 2.7 and is happy to sit on the potty at home (we've only been trying since last saturday), so far she's had both wee's and poo's on the potty at home - plus a few accidents - but that's ok!!!

She went to nursery today - and they sent her home in a nappy - they said she didn't want to, or ask to, use the potty all day!

She told me when she got home that she only wants to use it at home!!!

She is also vey quiet and shy too. I like the idea of a picture - I might give that a try, but I'm hoping others might have some more advice on this......

Is it normal for them only to want to use the potty/tiolet at home, and not anywhere else?

Thanks - and good luck!

Thanks for your reply Tw1nkle - Hopefully the more you daughter gets used to going the better she will get at it....it's still early days. I'm concerned because my daughter is starting school in September. She was absolutely brilliant on Friday at nursery....no accidents at all. She was good all weekend and then today at nursery she had 4 or 5 accidents again. It feels like we take one step forward and three backwards!!

It's very frustrating and I'm at a loss really to know what to do. It seems as though we have tried everything!

Good luck with your daughter's potty training!

Why don't you ask them to take her every 20 mins or so throughout the day which is what I did with DD when I started potty training her, whether she said she needed to go or not?

Then if that works, tell them to start telling her to go by herself at very regular intevals so she knows she can just take herself off and go at that age. Good luck!