WWYD - 2 yr old dry at night, 3.5 yr old wants to be but isn't

[BubbaAndBump]

Hi - bit of a dilemma here as our youngest (just turned 2) is now dry at day and at night (!) and our 3.5 yr old (both are girls) is dry during the day (with the odd accident when games are too fascinating to leave to wee) but still wakes up with a very soggy nappy in the morning. She's desperate not to have a nappy at night either, but neither lifting nor as we go to bed nor leaving her to wake up on her own (which she doesn't) works.

It's not that I'm desperately keen for her to be dry at night (although obviously it would be cheaper and nicer), but she's obviously getting upset that her sister is. We've told her it's fine, it doesn't matter etc, but it's still upsetting for her.

Any tips either on how to soothe her or how to help her become dry at night?

Difficult one.

I would emphasis to your dd1 the things that she can do much better then her sister - getting herself dressed for example.

It's possible there's a dietary cause. Dairy causes my son urinary urgency and if he has any he wets the bed. We've cut it out altogether because he's very young but at 3.5 I'd try leaving out any dairy from after lunch and see if that helps.

Other potential bladder irritants that I know of are soy and maize/corn.

It might be nothing to do with diet of course.

Thanks belgo, will concentrate on that (although in her nighttime melt-down, not sure it'll get through, but certainly worth a try)

MavisG her nappy is always soggy, regardless of her diet, but I might try cutting out dairy to see if that helps - though does your son wake up to wee without dairy?

He wees a lot less often when he has no dairy, and usually sleeps through and wees in the morning, but if he's had a lot more fluid than usual he will wake us in the night to wee rather than wet the bed, yes. If he's had dairy, it's like an involuntary process with him, he just pees straightaway, wherever he is. If he's awake/this wakes him, this can upset him.

My DD never wakes when she wees/needs a wee which is part of the problem. I've read that some bladders take longer (as in years) to send the "you need a wee" message to the brain, and for some children this doesn't happen till 4, 5 or even 6.

Just trying to manage this all with DD1

For children to be dry at night, a hormone has to kick in to reduce the production of urine. There is little you can do, unfortunately for dd1, but it's very common for children of 7 not to be reliably dry at night, to give you an idea of how far ahead your dd2 is, and that dd1 is not behind her peers at all.

I do feel for dd1 though. Perhaps you could push the message that her body isn't ready yet, not her if you see what I mean.

Can you put her to bed at a different time to her sister so she is less aware of her sister not needing a nappy?

I know jiggerty and I say, it doesn't bother me, it's just hard for her to see her sister.

We can certainly try and put them to bed at different times..

doh - I mean "as I say"...

Any other ideas out there?

As beluga suggests I would get them ready for bed separately. Maybe get dd1 ready with the pull up and pjs and send her off to get a book ready or something. Then get dd2 ready with no pull up. Don't mention to either anything about wee's, pull up etc. She'll do it on her own time!

Have you actually tried leaving the nappy off? All three of my friends have dry girls at night, all from just past the age of 2 and they all just told their DD that they weren't wearing nappies anymore at night and that was that. Apparently they had very wet nappies at night until then as well, but were obviously completely capable of holding it as there have been no (reported) accidents.

I haven't got the guts to do this myself, DD is dry at night but her size 5 pampers is hanging off her in the morning!