Anyone recovered slowly after forceps birth and episiotomy at 12 weeks?

[Cat891]

Im almost 12 weeks post partum. Second child. I had a forceps birth and episiotomy and geez the recovery has been so rough. I still don’t feel right. I’m still getting heaviness when I walk about the house and I get a kind of intense uncomfortable tension feeling in between my buttocks when I’m on feet after a short time. I haven’t been able to take the baby out a walk in 4 weeks because of this and I can’t take my toddler out. It’s so depressing. I had a c section with my first birth and it was much easier. I’ve seen a pelvic floor physio and a gynaecologist and they both say there is some slight laxity in my posterior wall but that that’s fairly normal and that things should improve with time and exercises. I’m just not feeling much improvement and it’s really getting me down. Does anyone have any positive forcep recovery stories to give me some faith things might get better? I’m so stressed all the time this is just how I feel now.

I’m kicking myself every day for not just getting a planned c section. I only tried for a vbac to try and avoid the longer recovery with c sections and I feel totally misled on the whole thing because this is so much worse

You poor sod.

I had this after 1st disastrous birth and had infected wound/stitches (midwife advice 'keep that area clean').

It's a while ago now but I still remember how altered I felt 'down there' - but I think many women feel this way after birth.

It's good that you've been checked by people who have presumably seen lots of women after birth - this was not available for me so I just had to wonder if it was normal or not.

I would take their advice that it will just take more time - it really is quite a major change to your body and it may be that it just isn't quite the same after.

12 weeks does sound like a long time to still be struggling. I can remember the same feeling that you’re describing but only for about 4 weeks, not 12. I’d definitely be going to my GP and asking for further investigations.

I know this doesn’t help you, but I never felt completely right after my episiotomy (the nurse didn’t stitch me properly and I had awful scarring). It was only when I had my second baby and I split that scar and had to be restitched that I actually recovered and I’ve not had any issues since. Sorry!

I had a bad tear as well so slightly different as i think they caused nerve damage so initially, i didn’t feel anything but couldn’t walk far and then much later about 7 months, the pain hit! It did go eventually after perhaps a year? I’ve seen a women’s physio as part of the recovery so it was simply that it was so bad that it took a long time to heal. I don’t want to scare you but think that recovery after a bad birth does take a long time especially as we have to keep active. Give it some more time and if there’s no improvement, go back to the physio. I found the GP useless and they didn’t care that i was in pain.

I didn’t realise it could take so long but thanks for the honesty. My GPs been really dismissive too. I ended up paying to see the gynaecologist privately to get things looked at.

12 weeks seems long to me too but I feel like everyone just keeps fobbing me off saying give it time

oh poor you. I’ve had a look down there and everything does look fairly normal. There is some scar tissue I can feel but the episiotomy itself isn’t that visible now so I’m hoping they did an ok job…

I think sadly, that paying privately is the only way to get proper care nowadays. You’ve fine the right thing but do go back if you feel something isn’t right. We know our bodies better than others. Hope it gets better soon - I’m sure in the next few weeks, it will suddenly start to improve. X

The heaviness is normal I looked in the mirror at my vagina and could see my cervix and I was shocked having usually not seeing it before. But over time and the usual pelvic floor exercises when I remember and I’m back to normal. I didn’t do the deed for 4 months after my first baby entirely because my vagina was messed up from the episiotomy. It didn’t heal until 4 months properly. Second vaginal birth had none of these problems and my natural second degree tear healed in 2 weeks.

Thanks. Sorry you it was such a long time for you too but it’s reassuring to hear that it did get better. Hopefully I’ll see some improvement over the next couple of months!

15 years ago now, but yes, absolutely grim, so much so that I had an ELCS the second time around and the recovery was so much easier. It will slowly get better but it’s definitely a marathon not a sprint, another thing they don’t tell you about.

Full recovery from this kind of delivery took probably a year for me, but I did recover. Good luck.

They certainly don’t tell you this. When I discussed with the consultant about whether to try for a vbac this time they pointed out that the recovery time would be much shorter which would be better for me with having a toddler as well…which has def not been the case

I honestly suspect there's never a lot of follow up research after these things, because talking to mums it's so common but nobody warns you and it's not mentioned as a possible negative outcome of induction, forceps delivery etc. My midwife pointed out to me that when you have an episiotomy it's your pelvic floor that's snipped and thats pretty important for all your movement! It's good that youve had it checked. I found a post natal pilates class you could take your baby (and in some cases, toddlers!) made a big difference to me, many are run by physiotherapists. And I had 4 straightforward vaginal births further down the line ☺️

This sounds very similar to me. Boy did it get me down physically and mentally!
Just when I thought I'd never get better(,it was an awful time so i feel for you) at about 4/5 months pp things just suddenly improved. The heaviness eased and I was able to start getting back to normal. I was lucky I had great support from my DM and MIL who alternated between them helping with my toddler and the baby as I was just not fit at all and my mood was low. DH was good too, but don't think he every really understood the depths I was in
Good luck and hope you improve

Thanks, that’s good to hear things did improve for you. Hopefully I’ll see some improvement soon too then. It’s really hard and I’m heavily relying on family and my husbands support just now as well but praying I can back to normal soon

Honestly, it took a few years to feel ok again. I don’t want to scare you as my experience may be vastly different. Although, I had forceps and tearing and episiotomy.

I saw a few people who all said it was normal so I assumed it was. Only lately I realise I should have pushed as it wasn’t right. Just watching the BBC this morning and there was a section on forceps and a new method that’s gentle. Apparently forceps deliveries haven’t changed in 400 years. I found that incredible. I always thought it was medieval at the time .

Oh jeez, well I did ask! Sorry you had such a long recovery.

i just googled this. Looks so much better and I think the sooner forceps become a thing of the past the better

Depending on how bad the tear was and how much ‘damage’ it can vary a lot. I think it was about 10months for me. I had a planned c section for subsequent children and recovery was much shorter.

Thanks! Yeah the c section recovery for my first was an absolute breeze compared to
this. Had no idea it could be this hard/ take this long

Thanks! Glad your next births were easier. This is number 2 for me and definitely my last based on this experience!!

I didn’t have episiotomy but a small tear and long pushing stage. Felt wrong and uncomfortable walking or standing for long for ages and I didn’t manage to run until child was almost 3! The pushing stage basically caused pelvic weakness, thankfully no continence issues but it still wasn’t nice feeling so uncomfortable. Didn’t have sex for a long time post baby#1 as a result too. Had some longer term complications but did feel a lot better by 18 months. With second baby, I was very forceful in ensuring I got ELCS and my recovery was just so so much quicker and less concerning as it was an expected surgical pain\ discomfort rather than feeling I was the only one going through it!

I suffered similar with my first. Stitches became infected and I had no pelvic control at all. I pushed for a referral and I had a few sessions of having some sort of healing lamp pointed at my nethers!
I was also assessed for my pelvic control which was non existant and was given that was basically a tens machine that you insert a probe and it stimulated your pelvic floor in order to re learn how to to the pelvic floor exercises.
I didn't have sex until 6 months post partum and I it because the nurse told me to bite the bullet as it wasn't going to get any easier. To be honest it would rough for about a year.
Planned section for my second child and I waited almost 4 years due to the trauma.