Obsessed with Doc who delivered my baby!

[Yeuxbleu]

This might make me sound crazy, but I am so obsessed with the idea that I might bump into the doctor who cared for me during my labour and carried out my emergency c section, so he can see that my baby is well and that we were worthy of his care. I just have this strange fantasy that he could be part of her life and that he might be my doctor for my next delivery. I realise how strange and sad this sounds.....I just wondered if anyone else experienced similar feelings about their Obgyn docs??

What a lovely experience for you! Such a coincidence!

It’s the same hormones that make women fall in love with a one night stand!

I’ve had two c sections and I must say this has never crossed my mind. The reality is doctors who carry out c sections oversee the delivery of hundreds if not thousands of babies over their career. Sorry to be blunt but they would have forgotten about you by their tea break.

It'll be the hormones.

Hi op,

why would that be weird? You feel how you feel and noone really should have anything to say about that.

but, it is a fantasy and one that is probably not shared by the doc so it is best, as you already know, to just move on.

congrats in your beautiful baby!🌺

I had a tour around the hospital in the birthing area before I gave birth with the sister midwife and when she popped in my room after I’d gave birth I was so pleased to see her and when i was leaving i wanted to see every one who had been involved to say thank you 🤦🏽‍♀️

I didn’t have this, but the midwife I had for my second son remembered me and she remembered my first son’s name, 17 months after I had given birth to him. So to everyone saying I’m sure they wouldn’t remember, you never know!

I relate op. Traumatic birth and time in NICU. I became obsessed with the care team and the feelings lasted for months after we are home. Baby is 12 now 😂…. And i haven’t thought of them for years. It will pass

I had a planned c section and honestly I can’t even remember any of the medical staff’s faces! I hope that doesn’t make me sound ungrateful, but all I thought about was my baby and that he would arrive safely. He did arrive safely and the only picture I see clearly in my memory is when they showed me my baby for the first time!

The doctor (or rather surgeon) who performs the c section has most likely not built up any relationship beforehand whereas a midwife probably has. I’d never laid eyes on my surgeon before the section and wouldn’t have known him if I’d walked passed him when leaving the hospital. Not that I wasn’t grateful but my focus was all on the baby.

I think this is normal. Birth is traumatic and you’re stuffed full of oxytocin. I think feeling a bond is normal. And you’re aware it’s one sided and not a “real” feeling. It’s just how your brain is processing trauma. The doctor is your white knight.

also I think when someone you respect sees you at your absolute lowest (during a traumatic birth for example), you feel like you want to show them yourself on a good day, when you feel competent.

Yes this is precisely how I'm feeling!

I bump into my mw all the time lol poor love, my son is 2 now and she still gives his cheeks a quick gentle squeeze

I had a similar experience both times OP. Emergency c sections both times and second very very serious and DC almost died. My consultant was female both times so that solved the crush feeling you are having but I suppose still a female crush / awe/ gratefulness. I wrote a big gushy letter to the hospital the week after giving birth. And I named all the lovely members of staff who helped us both. I still feel like I can never repay the debt of how great the care I received was. I wonder if it it’s because of vulnerability or trauma like others have mentioned.

Sorta sounds like a case of transference wherein the doctor takes care of you and you develop a crush on him

I have bumped into the midwife on a couple of occasions and each time she remembered my baby (even his name) it was a traumatic birth (very premature).

The last time I saw her in Sainsbury's a couple of months ago, she was with another midwife & said hello to me and introduced me to the other woman. I was very impressed she remembered me and my baby with all the babies she must welcome into the world.

My 'baby' is 28! 🤣

As a midwife I often think about people I’ve cared for and wonder how they are doing now. I’m friends with an ex colleague on social media and I was with her when she delivered her baby - I love seeing her pics as he’s growing!

I don’t think so, it’s quite common and will pass. It also happens with therapists etc too.

I was a student nurse in the 90’s and dating a gynaecologist. I remember him taking a call one evening, put through by switchboard and it was a patient he’d operated on that day.
She was flirting outrageously and actually so was he. I used to wonder what would have happened had I not been sitting there when she called!

Weirdly, I had the same dr in the same room of the same hospital for both my babies (4 years apart) and it turns out he was a locum, so the chances of that were tiny!

We bumped into him at a play centre when my youngest was 18 months old and I'm still not sure if he remembered us or whether he was just being polite

I wrote a thank you card to my midwife with my first - I actually still remember her name ten years later. I thought a lot over the first few weeks postpartum about how grateful I was to her. Don't worry about judgmental pps, you might have worded it slightly unusually but really I can't think of a more logical thing to be unbelievably grateful for! You and baby are well and got though something that hundreds of years ago might well have killed you. Every delivery is a little miracle.
Also- as with teachers- a written thank you in a climate where they aren't valued is the perfect response.

Thank you, I'd never heard of transference until now, I think it does sound like that. To be clear (because I don't think my OP was clear) I don't have feelings towards the doc, it's more like a sense of admiration and I wish I could know him better!! But of course I would never actually seek him out.

I have a midwife friend. We kept bumping into a lady whose baby she had delivered frequently when having lunch/coffee. She would tell me every time we met that she had a special bond with my friend and so did the baby and stay some time talking to us. My friend was very polite but obviously didn’t feel a special bond just a lady and baby she had cared for. No friendship developed and think eventually it dropped down to a polite hello.

I have sometimes thought that it might be nice to bump into the midwives who saw me a few days after birth, a complete sleep deprived and hormonal mess, just so they could see that we've come out the other side of it like they said we would.

But it's just a fantasy, as you say. You'll be one of many, many, many women they see and they'd probably not have any reason to remember you.

I had this!
I had an emergency C-section and I’m forever grateful to the registrar who immediately saw baby might be in distress and authorised as well as carried out the emergency section for my second child.
For months (maybe years) after I gave birth I kept going on Google to try find her, so I could properly say thank you. I didn’t know her name so never did but I can relate to this OP.

The gynea who guided me through my 1st (risky and hiccup-ey) pregnancy also helped me when I miscarrried 2.5 yrs later. I sent him a thank you card a few months later. I got a very nice letter back wishing us well.