Bonding with baby post c section

[SnowBall86]

Hi all, just wanted to see if anyone experienced the same… I wonder if it’s because of c section but I feel like my bond with my second child is not the same as it was with my first. With my first I felt such an overwhelming love and protectiveness… with my second I feel like I love her but not quite the same. Most of days I spend thinking how much I miss spending time with my older son and how on the one hand I want my daughter to be older (I’m not a fan of newborn babies, give me a one year old anytime) and on the other hand soak up every moment of my son’s age now. I also hate myself when I’m sleep deprived and snappy. Feel so guilty and sorry for the newborn too as she deserves better…

Could you be a bit depressed @SnowBall86?

It might be worth talking to Pandas Foundation or your HV about how you feel

I don’t think I’m depressed, no. I take enjoyment in doing different things, I don’t really feel overwhelmed, neither do I have dark thoughts (if anything, I think my whole family is going to be screwed without me haha). I think maybe I put too much pressure on myself being this perfect mum, having “right” feelings and in my head I saw having two children as a picture of bliss when in fact it’s quite stressful . Less of an adjustment that going from 0 to 1 but still an adjustment…

Why do you think it was specifically the C section that is the cause? I wonder if you have some deep seated feelings about the C section and that’s playing on your mind… I had a c sec and have had no trouble bonding with baby. Was it a planned section or a trauma/emergency situation? Perhaps it would help you to consider your feelings on the delivery maybe that’s related. Good luck xxxx