Never felt worse

[headsaway123]

I've never been so depressed in my life. My little one is 4 weeks old and this feeling is consuming me. I don't want to go to sleep at night because I don't want to wake up and face another day. I don't know what to do, I know my kids would be better off without me. I know it's probably PND but I can't go on like this. My local doctors can't see me for weeks and I don't know how I'm going to make it to that point

You need to make an emergency appointment with your gp. Don't settle for waiting weeks. It really urgent you see somebody today. Is there anyone around who can help? DP? Your parents? A friend?

Hi, please call doctor again asking for an urgent appointment or go to your local A&E. Can you speak to your partner? Sorry you feel like this.

Remember, you are special and NOBODY WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU!!

You need help, don't be afraid to ask partner.

Warm hugs

@headsaway123 This post has made me so sad as I have been in the position you're in right now.

All I can say is it DOES get better, even though you may feel at your lowest point right now. No-one is better off without you; it's your brain playing awful tricks on you as from what you have said, it does sound like Postnatal Depression.

If your doctors cannot see you, you can contact your local mental health Crisis Team for support. If you google your area, a number should be on there. You can also call your emergency services (101 / 999) to express how you're feeling and they will be able to support and refer you to the appropriate services.

Additionally, you can self-present at your local Accident and Emergency department or Police Station if you feel in danger of harming yourself.

Also, please see the below numbers for support:

• Pre and Postnatal Depression Advice and Support (PANDAS) - 0843 28 98 401.
• NCT - 0300 330 0700.
• Samaritans - 116 123.

Please, please do not suffer alone OP. Try and seek support, it's so important you do

To echo what others have said, your children are not better off without you. It is the illness and it got me too. You WILL get better, I promise you from the bottom of my heart. I never thought I would and now I’m 90% better. When things get too much give Samaritans a call for a chat, it really helps. Please also talk to one person if you can that you trust. Also download the calm app and listen to some of their wonderful meditations it really calmed me down during the dark days. Anything else I’m here to message privately - you are never ever alone x

I am feeling lime this. It's the dead of night and I am better Then for so.e reason. Doing the night feeds is the only time I can even look at my 6 week old son. In the day i am sick and tremble with anxiety and shame.
I called my Health visitor who made an emergency gp appointment and arranged for the perinatal mental health team to visit me. They came today and gave diazepam to take the edge off and so I have been able to eat some soup. The first thing I've eaten for 3 days.

Maybe ring your HV. Take it from there. Xxx its horrible but I'm told we can get through it. At night i believe it. In the day i have no hope. People have to come and feed my baby for me and spend all day with us. I feel so ashamed.