16 months post birth and have anal fissure and tearing on perineum

[feb14mum]

I know this may be personal but is anyone suffering from anything since their births i gave birth in feb 14 and had a few issues and this sounds terrible but part of me thinks I'd rather be dead then have to suffer with this pain for the rest of my life. since the birth I've had an anal fissure Google it if u don't know I've been using a cream called recto genic and it worked but now it's opened it self up again and the side effects of the cream is chronic headaches and god are they painful. basically a fissure is a tear in the bowel so everytime i have a bowel movement I get bleeding and a sharp pain then after it always feels sore aswell im still using the cream but it doesnt seem to be doing anything now next step for that is botox in the bum.
and the front lady area I found sex incredibly uncomfortable though that is much better now with the help of doctors intervening with vagina dilators yet now im on the biggeat size of it my perineum which is skin bit between vagina and bum constantly has splits on it or grazes.. more so after sex it's like a paper cut i use to get them before but not as bad. my birth ended up with being cut and a 3rd degree tear please tell me I'm not the only one

I really want to have another baby but am so scared about what will happend next time

I shouldn't be having these problems so long after the birth but what with moving house nhs and waiting lists it seems to be going on for ever!!!

@girlmumoftwo thank you so much for your kind words. Im sorry to hear youre still suffering. Hopefully one day theyl just stop reopening. But yes keep with the stool softeners. When i initially went to the gp the gp could see it internally. This time the crs just shoved her finger in without even being gentle. I told her my stools are thin and she responded well how big do you want them. She said nothings wrong but she will arrange a sigmoidoscopy. Im freaking out about that. Why can we just heal!

Oh, that GP sounds horrible! I'm so sorry.
Well stool softeners make your stools thin so it's probably that. Don't freak out. It will all be okay :)

@girlmumoftwo yeah i do think its the damn stool softeners. Wish i never took them! I didnt even need stool softeners until i had postpartum constipation. Never really suffered from constipation before. Its just taken over my life. Fingers crossed we heal soon! Had a retear this morning with blood. FML

Me too! I didn't even know there was such thing as stool softeners until I was prescribed them after my 3rd degree tear :(

I hope we do too. Just know that you are not alone and I'm there with you feeling the exact same! I pray to God this is going to be a distant memory for the both of us soon.

I'm so sorry :( I wish I could help in some way. Honestly I don't feel like eating sometimes to stop my self needing to go entirely. I dread going knowing how it's going to end.

@girlmumoftwo heyyy lovely hope youre okay. I started taking psyllium husk to bulk up my stools and slowly they have. Thank god. Not quite back to normal sIze but least they are not pencil thin. But now my issue is i keep retearing the fissure each bm. Does your fissure still bleed. Also what stool softener are you using. My stools are soft but maybe not soft enough for the fissure?

Hello! I'm doing okay, the same really. How are you?! I stopped taking the husk back in March because they stopped doing what it needed to do. I'm on Movicol now but the lowest dose like one packet a day. It makes it really messy at times. Yes, they bleed with each retear. :( I'm glad the husk is helping you bulk it up though. I tried a pre and pro biotic once and that stuffed everything up completely. Do you have any update on your sigmoidoscopy?

@girlmumoftwo heyyy aww am sorry to hear things are not much better. But luckily not worse. With the movicol if they make your stools like too mushy or messy cut it down to like half a sachet a day. I remember when mine were like that and thats what this gp lady told me. You might not need a lot of it. Its funny you say that because i was thinking the husk is making the stool more harder than what it would be without it. But i just needed something to bulk it. Ive got my appt for 19th sept for the sigmoidoscopy. Im absolutely bricking it. Im even thinking about having another baby (which i want anyway) but ive heard it healed some peoples fissures. Must be the extra bloodflow. But then again i cant do with it causing more trauma.

Hello! I actually made the decision to stop taking it and just live with it because I'm so sick of taking things. I realised that it upset my stomach and caused bloating too. So just going to deal with the pain and bleeding.

It's all going to be okay! You have gone through so much already and are so strong. You'll show that sigmoidoscopy who's boss! Better to rule out anything serious but I'm sure it isn't.

The doctor that I saw overseas said they didn't repair me correctly so I've finally come to accept this is my life now and it's not going to get better because they have most likely stitched me up too tight and to one side so I've kinda given up.

@girlmumoftwo retore so badly last night. In absolute agony. So much blood. All because of a normal size poo. Least i know i have been able to acheive that o spose. I think im feeling the same as you. Just going to find a way to deal with it

I'm so sorry :( I did too, yesterday, with both BMs. You are not alone!

@girlmumoftwo so sorry! Sending you healing hugs xx also i ordered some pranicura in desperation. Another costly item that probably wont even work. Its just a flipping cut. Why cant it heal!

I hope it helps!! Prayers you're way for upcoming sigmoidoscopy xx

Hey! You've been on my mind! How was your sigmoidoscopy? I hope you got some positive results! X

@girlmumoftwo heyyy hope youre okay. Thanks for checking in with me. Im still anxiously waiting. The hosp messed up the date for the sigmoidoscopy. Was meant to have it this tues gone but they forgot to book a pre assessment so they moved the sigmoid to next tues. Its just dragging now and the sleepless nights over stressing over it are getting tiring. Are you doing any better xx

Oh no! That waiting part is just the hardest. Hopefully it will all be over and okay soon!

I am doing the same. Nothing new nothing better happening either. Just pooping and ripping and bleeding as always like a vicious cycle.

@girlmumoftwo thank you! Yes i feel you. Retore again today. On the plus side now that i am having bulkier stools i am prefer the mushy type stools to avoid retears

@girlmumoftwo had my sigmoid yday and omg it was so painful. Would never do that again. But anyway they couldnt find a fissure. And i am adamant i have a fissure or some sort of tear somwhere as the pain is literally like shitting glass and spasm pain. They did find a small grade 1 internal heamorroid but they didnt say anything about that. They just sent me home after it was done. Im not even sure what i need to do with the internal haemorroid. I mean im adamant i have a tear but these seem to think the haemorroid is causing me pain.

The tear literally can fuse together in a couple of hours and it just retears. I'm glad there was nothing serious. Haemorrhoids is mainly just eating well, not straining and proper pooing stance and breathing through it. There isn't anything else we can do for them I think. You could try the cream they put up there.

I'm so sorry it was painful. It shouldn't have been. Have you seen a pelvic floor physio? To train your muscles to relax while you go? Or do you have other pelvic pain like during relations? It could be all connected. I had to see one after the birth of both of my kids to retrain it all. It took so long.

@girlmumoftwo heyyy thank you for your advice. I will certainly take it onboard. I asked the gps last dec if i needed a pelvic floor therapy and they said focus on the appt for the crs first. So they just dismissed it. Im not sure of any local therapists that might be able to help me. I feel like the whole area where the fissure was is inflamed now since the procedure. And im sure haemorroids are not meant to hurt if they are small and internal so surely the pain is from the fissure?

Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry for delayed reply. I thought I clicked the post button but it didn't and didn't save!

100% regarding the pain, when I poop and I don't have blood but have pain. It still hurts afterwards. It might be in a spot that's hard to see like toward your vagina. That's where mine is and keeps tearing.

I highly recommend a pelvic floor physio to assess and give you some exercises to loosen it up if it's all hyperactive. Mine are which doesn't help when going to the toilet. So it could definitely be a factor.

Do you have instagram? Follow coreandfloorrestore and implement her little exercises. It honestly makes you feel like you're not alone and so many women have these type of issues.

We will get through this! I believe in us!

@girlmumoftwo heyy im looking into pelvic floor. But been taking lactulose again to keep stools extremely soft. Somehow im not longer in pain with extremely loose stools. So im just going with it. I am so over this taking over my life. I hope youre doing okay! Sending you love xx

I'm glad to hear you're not in pain. I hope it continues to help and you can get some relief and answers after seeing a phsyio. I know it's been a draining journey and hopefully there will be light at the end of the tunnel. Just know you are not alone! Sending you healing and love right back xx

@girlmumoftwo heyyy how are you? My painfree days didntt last long. Forgot to take lactulose and had a very small formed stool which reopened the tear a few days ago and been in agony since. Hope your making some progress❤️

Hello! I am surviving. Same old here. I have good days and bad days. Currently in the bad days again, so I know how you feel :( Wishing you speedy healing xx

Hey! How are you going? Just wanted to check in with you! Hoping you're feeling better!