16 months post birth and have anal fissure and tearing on perineum

[feb14mum]

I know this may be personal but is anyone suffering from anything since their births i gave birth in feb 14 and had a few issues and this sounds terrible but part of me thinks I'd rather be dead then have to suffer with this pain for the rest of my life. since the birth I've had an anal fissure Google it if u don't know I've been using a cream called recto genic and it worked but now it's opened it self up again and the side effects of the cream is chronic headaches and god are they painful. basically a fissure is a tear in the bowel so everytime i have a bowel movement I get bleeding and a sharp pain then after it always feels sore aswell im still using the cream but it doesnt seem to be doing anything now next step for that is botox in the bum.
and the front lady area I found sex incredibly uncomfortable though that is much better now with the help of doctors intervening with vagina dilators yet now im on the biggeat size of it my perineum which is skin bit between vagina and bum constantly has splits on it or grazes.. more so after sex it's like a paper cut i use to get them before but not as bad. my birth ended up with being cut and a 3rd degree tear please tell me I'm not the only one

I really want to have another baby but am so scared about what will happend next time

I shouldn't be having these problems so long after the birth but what with moving house nhs and waiting lists it seems to be going on for ever!!!

Your welcome i was shocked to see there was messages on it so long after. It brought back memory's as I remember very well writing it thinking I cant cope with this pain it was like a sharp glass cutting pain every time I went to the toilet.
I even considered going private at one point but money was tight as we had just moved house , complete different county, a new car and had our daughter so I perserved I found after my bm the pain wasn't there so I just brushed it aside.
May be helpful for you I found having a lavender (you can get in a liquid drop form) and sitz baths after very helpful and you can even get a perineum bottle that squirts water and i also found placing a pad flannel or something absorbent on the perineum helped a bit and the stool was my best friend, i even find using it now to put my feet up on even helps now . It goes everywhere with me.

I agree it definitely does put you off having children but once I was healed and had the physio counselling and everything else I was a lot more confident.
When I was pregnant in 2016 I did get the option of a csection but decided against it thinking back now I should have accepted it but I wanted to try a natural birth again as I missed a lot of my 1st and was told it was very rare id have the same issues and if i did id be put on the top of the specialists list because of the history.

Anyway my son was born by emergency csec because we had a cord prolapse thankfully we both survived(obviously as I wouldn't be typing lol)! But it does make you think of the what if!

I Honestly wish you well with this and its a stage in your life that will pass though it may not seem like it right now , please let me know how you get on. x

Also I found none of my friends or family were interested to know what I was going through and no one I knew had experienced it and im a very open person when it comes to these things so I found it a very lonely hard time not having someone to share it with

As I side note I experienced tearing on my perineum for maybe a good id say 5 years before my daughter more so after sex so I think giving birth and having the tear and being cut just made the situation all worst . I was stitched it a bit too tightly also that didn't help so have a lot of scaring tissue so I don't think that's connected to the fissure but obviously that area gets sweaty dirty ect it didn't help ! I have been diagnosed with condition now its like excema but called lichen sclerosis so that would explain my symptoms before her birth. I
ts a hereditary conditon and 3 members of my family have now been diagnosed.

There is so much stigma about women's issues after birth like this it definitely needs talking about more I found a few fb groups quite supportive also x

@trezzy its exactly like that. Like passing broken glass. So sorry to bring up those awful memories for you! Will defo take away all your tips. Oh no sorry to hear that you had to have an emergency section. I had that and haemerraged and it was the worse experience possible. And just wen i thought im over the worse of it i was hit with this fissure. Id rather go through birth again tbh. Your words give me hope so thank you. There defo isnt much education about post birth. Everyone i know just seems to recover after birth and have no lingering issues. It can seem so lonely but so thankful for people on these forums for responding. I hope you and your little ones are doing well. Xx

Thank you for sharing both your stories. I completely agree. So many women suffer post birth but no one talks about and nothing gets done medically to help. I spent a lot of maternity leave which was a year in bed. My stitches came apart when I came home and the pain was so unbearable at times. I couldn't even sit on my bottom for 6 months. I hope we all heal both physical and mental scars. Thanks for making me not feel like I was alone.

Hows everyone doing. My fissure just wont heal and because of this my stools are really thin

Oh I'm so sorry :( Have you seen a GP again?

I'm still on stool softeners and psyllium husk everyday. I stopped taking them but it tore again so the colorectal surgeon here put me back on them. While I'm on them there's no pain or tearing or bleeding. He had a look there and said my muscle tone seemed fine and there was no hemarrhoids so will be seeing him again to do a pressure test as he said it could be a combination of muscle spasm and poor healing of the area due to the stitches coming apart. I guess if that's normal it would then need to be a colonoscopy. We want to try for baby number 3 so really want to get to the bottom of this to determine if we should or shouldn't.

Have you tried anything else to help? The doctor gave me a new type of cream as well which was really good. I'll send the name when I get a chance.

It's called Diltiazem Hydrochloride.

@girlmumoftwo aww thank you. So pleased to hear things are getting better for you. Im still waiting to be seen by a consultant as the docs messed up my first referral and actually sent me to a stomach surgeon who told me he couldnt help so now i have been re referred to colorectal surgeon. Ive heard a few ppl mention that cream. Did it heal your fissure. Im currently trying to work out how to get my stools a decent size again as now they are pencil thin for some reason. I have heard some people say when pregnant the fissure disappears as blood flow increases due to the pregnancy

They are good if I am on those things but I really don't want to live on them :(

I'm sorry they stuffed up your referral. Especially if you had to wait so long to get one! I know it can take ages in some countries. Do you know how long you will need to wait?

I haven't seen the surgeon while it's been good so they can never tell me if it's fully healed. Currently waiting to hear back from them for an opening to do the pressure test and I'm hoping he can look to tell me if that cream has worked or not. It's one fissure that's in the same place all the time. Right in the middle towards my vulva side so I'm thinking it's a healing issue. Sorry for TMI but it looks like it's been over stitched.

Try the psyllium husk and make sure you have plenty of water. I drink 2 to 3 litres a day. The one time I was just on the stool softeners only made my bowels thin too so add some husk too.

Are you constipated at all? Using a stool? Having correct poop posture? I say ooo chaaa and fill my belly with air when it's time to go so the muscles can relax. Feet on a tool so your knees are higher than your hips and feet inwards your hip opens up. Honestly I feel your pain and I wish I could snap my fingers to help you in any way. I don't wish this upon my worst enemy. It can be so depressing and isolating at times. I just don't have the motivation to do anything.

I suffer from health anxiety so really want to have the colonoscopy for peace of mind then deal with the trauma to my pelvic floor. I have another condition called Vaginusmus which doesn't help at all with this situation to be honest. Once can overcome it all and get to a happy mental and physical space we want to try for a 3rd. If we ever have another it would most likely be a c section because I definitely don't want to tear again.

I'm praying for you! I hope you find sweet relief and healing as soon as possible!

@girlmumoftwo thank you so much. Been feeling quite down and low today and your reply just completely lifted me. Thank you for all your tips i will be trying those. I spoke to the doctors and they said i just have to wait and it can take another good few months before i get seen wich is so depressing. The gp cant advise me on anything other than keep taking stool softeners and yes its the laxido/movicol thats made them thin but now iv learnt i would have been bettrr taking fibre too like pysllium husk. Im just scared that i might not be able to pass any slightly bulky poo.

Oh no! You poor thing. Surely they should have checked if they overstitched you? Sounds a bit like negligence to me. Aww well keep thinking the body is designed to and wants to heal and i pray it does. I wanted a third baby too but after this fissure im disheartened. Oh and also remember if you do go for a c section make sure you keep stools soft etc. I had a slight fissure with my c section.

Can they mark your referral as urgent some how? Especially as you have been suffering for so long. It is doing more mental damage just waiting around and not getting it fixed.

If you're drinking enough water and taking the husk it should be fine.

The doctors who have looked says it looks physically fine but to me it looks like that part of my anus has shifted more to the opposite side. I just want to figure it all out it's been 26 months post partum now.

I had an emergency c section with my first and fissures on and off for about 6 months after but after diet it was all fixed up. Now it's just been so so long.

I'll be thinking of you! Take care of yourself!

@girlmumoftwo hey! I must have forgot to reply! Been chasing the doctors with the referral but it seems i just have to waity turn. Oh dear. Its such a life consuming condition. But i starting to believe we will all heal. Hope your doin better x

Hi @mumof2bambinos

I'm so sorry with all the waiting. It's so hard. I hope we all heal as soon as possible.

I'm a nervous wreck, actually. My colonoscopy is tomorrow so I am about to start my bowel prep.

My surgeon wasn't able to do the pressure test as insurance did approve it but they approved a colonoscopy. He said the fissures can be caused by a couple of things, one is by poor healing and that is something I would have to live with for the rest of my life as fixing it could risk incontinence. One other thing is muscle spasms, where my sphincter just doesn't relax when it's time eto go due to the trauma/pelvic floor issues. This could be fixed with cutting the muscle (aging risking incontinence) or botox injections to relax the muscle. He said if colonoscopy doesn't show anything the other option is taking skin from somewhere and making it like a flap where the fissure is so it doesn't stretch while going to the toilet, he said there is about 70-80% chance this will help but he said ultimately depends on how much it bothers you.

Thinking of you. Hopefully you get the referral soon! X

@girlmumoftwo aww bless you. Will be thinking of you. I know a few people who have had the prep and its awful but just glug it own and have like soups. I have heard it isnt as painful as you may think. Well not painful at all. I am considering botox too as i know some people heal from it. Its like a 50/50 chance. Doesnt really have any lasting effects. With LIS aparntly the risk of incontinence is pretty low esp as you are young yet. Im still waiting. Rung the gp last month asking for lidocaine. They said they cant prescribe it without consultant saying yes. A month later am still waiting for an update as to whether i can have it or not. I would have thought in this day and age there would be a remedy for anal fissures!

Thank you! I suffer from health anxiety and the call just came yesterday saying it's all approved and we can do it Saturday so haven't had time to prepare mentally for it. Hopefully it goes well and brings some clarity.

I am leaning towards botox as well. I guess I'll see what the results show and go from there.

I didn't know you need a prescription for lidocaine. Here you can just get it over the counter. I'm so sorry that you need to jump all these hurdles for just some little help even. It baffles me honestly. It's similar like that in Australia with the constant waiting. We moved to UAE and everything gets done much faster here. So grateful for it.

I heard of another cream called Emuaid? It's like one you can buy online which helps with fissures too apparently if you wanted to look into that.

I'm honestly praying for you. I don't wish this upon anyone. I hope you hear back asap!

@girlmumoftwo thank you xx i havent tried emuaid. I will look into it. Thank you. Tbh it might be better that you havent had much time to prepare for it as you might start overthinking or reading too much about it which might make it worse for you. Fingers crossed it will all be ok. I assume they will sedate you. Oh wow. Well congrats on moving. They might give you the answers and help you need. I cannot believe how clueless gps are about this condition!

Thank you! We are still adjusting. Missing family and friends but it has been good so far thank God.

Yes, I'm scared of being sedated honestly. I don't do well with needles.

I know, right! There are probably so many more people secretly living with it too. Poor things!

@girlmumoftwo hey how are you doing. Hopefully youre all settled now and enjoying life there. How are you getting on with your healing

Hello @mumof2bambinos!

Thank you!

I'm doing okay! How are you? Have you been able to see anyone or get relief?

So, my colonoscopy didn't show anything which is what my surgeon thought would happen. I just had some mild inflammation which I already suspected as I have anxious bowels. I saw a gastroenterologist for it and he didn't think that would cause anything like recurring fissures. He said it looks like it's a result of poor healing which is something I will need to live with for the rest of life. There is a surgery option to create a sort of flap but I don't want that.

I did however see an OBGYN specialist overseas this month for more opinions and she actually confirmed to me that this is most likely a stitching problem. She said they stitched me too much to one side as it's not even and symmetrical. (This is what my gut told me as when I looked at it once it healed it definitely looks like it but all those doctors said it was fine)
She said it probably needs to be completely opened and reconstructed but I would risk incontinence and the healing time would be very long. I already had a traumatic post partum period so definitely don't want that. She did however revise some of the external perineum area under local anaesthesia. Because they stitched me incorrectly I had some tension in the perineum area so she was able to relieve it a little to help with movement in that region so I currently healing from that.

I hope you are feeling somewhat better!

@girlmumoftwo so so glad to hear your doing so much better! And that your colonoscopy came back good! Wow i remember you saying you felt it was stitched wrong but no doctors would confirm that. Do you think they didnt confirm it as potentially you could claim against them on that for all the damage and suffering it has caused (i would say do that!). Do you feel your managing going to the toilet a lot better now. Im doing ok. Still struggling with bulking up my stool. I finally have an appointment with the crs on 15th august after such a long wait so fingers crossed i can get sorted then. I felt like waiting so long has only made my fissure worse than what it was

I'm actually going to contact some lawyers back home to see if I even have a case. The amount of momey I spent on this matter is ridiculous and I had even gone privately for the entire pregnancy and birth as well. But even the second and third opinions I had received - they all said it looked fine. I now personally think doctors don't know a whole lot in this area. Having been seen in the UAE and Europe now I feel the doctors there are so much better there than Aus.

While overseas my diet changed completely and I was having a lot of lactose which didn't agree with me so without my stool softeners and movicol it was already runny. I am now on a mission to keep a food diary to see what helps/doesn't help.

I'm glad to hear you're doing okay and hopefully you can get some answers on the 15th! It has been way to long for you :( I'm longing for the day where we can just put this behind us.

There is a new cream as well called Hemagel if you wanted to look into it. It didn't help me much but maybe you could give that a try too!

@girlmumoftwo absolutely do. Im sure you have a case for it! Esp after seeking opinions from different doctors. Get like a copy from the doctor you saw who said stitching isnt done properly and keep that as proof. So then you can give it to your lawyer as thats admittance right there! And i know how expensive it can be! And that just adds to the stress. I do agree i dont think many docs know much about fissures. My midwife didnt know what a fissure was. But so many ppl suffer with it. Aww thank you. Il see if i can buy that cream in the uk. Im at that point now that im dreaming about my poo being normal. Cant beleive this is my life now.

I know and I am so sorry :( I hope we can one day let it be normal again. Praying for both of us!

@girlmumoftwo heyy how are you doing? I finally had my crs appt and she did a check with her finger and said she couldnt feel fissures and theres nothing wrong. I was like ive been in so much pain. She said she would arrange a sigmoidoscopy for me. Thats terrifying me

Hey! I am the same. Just living on my stool softeners. Still get the pain and bleeding from my fissure reopening here and there even while on them.

Only you can feel the fissure but you can definitely see it depending on the location. Did your GP look at it? I could even see mine when I took a look with a mirror. So not sure why they said they can't feel it.

I'm glad you will be getting a sigmoidoscopy. At least you will hopefully get some piece of mind. Don't be terrified. They do so many of them and hopefully won't show anything serious. You are in my prayers.