Jan 09 Summer sun, peachy bums and... toddler tantrums..

[120]

New thread here...

I was just thinking she's not getting 12 hours at night, as she wakes a lot and stays awake. So even with 2 hours in the day she's just not getting enough right now, as she can't self soothe/ settle. So she is more desperate for sleep than the rest of our DCs, so it's tricky to compare in a way.

But there is an arguement to do 120's method outright and sleep train all in one, kill two birds with one stone and all that

Do you think when she comes into a lighter part of her sleep cycle she forces herself awake to be with mummy as well? She needs to learn to be comfortable in her cot without you I keep thinking.

Oh 120 - you poor thing! Yeuch! Hope its just a passing bug and he's fine tomorrow.

Tree, if she is sleeping when its school run time I tend to transfer her into the pushchair in the front room about 15 minutes before I have to go out and let her resettle in there before walking to the school. Doesn't always work, sometimes she wakes up when I try to transfer her and is mega-grumpy for the rest of the afternoon. I try to get her to go down for a nap at about 1.00/1.30 if I can, so that she can get at least an hour and a half in before the school run.

I used to be able to carry ds2 downstairs from his cot/bed, put him in the pushchair fetch ds1 then put him back to bed - all without him waking up, so dd is ... er ... a challenge to say the least.

Had tacos made with quorn mince for tea tonight for the first time ever - and everyone ate them and then asked for more! Result!

I am here but just got in from work boo-hiss! Really want to catch up but am knackered and need a bath.

Fantastic weekend in that there London, DH still suffering today!

Be back with the details tomorrow as it was a wonderful wedding.

Hope everyone ok, Dog, Mooseys foot, Leonard, 120 and everyone else feeling a bit low at the moment. Also lots of love to Miss J.

xx

Popping in to bookmark. DH and DD just left, I'm having a quick bite SH put together for me,,, crab melts and a pale ale. mmm Sorry for bragging. Must get back to work.

Oh quick funny story. I'm writing out a 'list' for DH and I'm reading through it, mail dental insurance forms, drop off dry cleaning, computer paper, printer ink, anal sex, olive oil, fruit, What! Anal Sex I say out loud. DH laughs and says I don't know. It's your list. lol. The funny thing was that I didn't notice it when I wrote in olive oil.

(Note to Self: you haven't read the last 4 posts. )

DH, not SH.

OK. So I'm hanging around, digesting my food, so why not multi-task I say, which brought me back here.

120 That makes total sense about the nap/early waking thing with DD most times. I'm going to experiment with a routine change this week because I've noticed that occasionally she'll start her nap at 11 and go to 1 and have lunch, is much better the rest of the day, and goes promptly down at 8 and wakes at 7.30-8am. But then it all goes to pot when I basically force her down at 10am, staying with an old nap time.

DOG, hope you are ok, that would freak me out too.

Chef lol at Anal sex on your list of tasks. There was a thread on here about that the other day and it's side effects.

Defo try moving the nap time. Withh DD I kept forcing the early naps and it basically was creating the super early wake up times, which in turn re-inforced the need for early naps.

Probably wrong number DOG, no doubt when you've tried to say that they've responded nastily. Would freak me out too You poor thing.

I forgot to say 120 at chunky nastyness down your back! Are they ok? Still asleep alright?

Ooooh 120. A down side to sling wearing, and there aren't many! Poor you. The sleep advice makes sense. Hmmm, I wonder.

I'm very frightened of overtired thing too tea. Very. think she may well be doing the waking up too early in the morning thing. 2 reasons, she is a sod spirited wee lamb and she has to, for the school run.

120 SHe gets up between 5.30 and 8.30 am. She goes down for the night between 7pm and.....er....1am. If she is up that late, it is because she went to bed at a normal time, and has woken up to go disco dancing.

If she went to sleep at 7pm and stayed there it would all make more sense to me. It's the waking up in the eve and having a little 2 hour party that throws me.

I am now in a place where I am game to let her cry it out and basically, break her spirit. Sorry H, but I am. Never ever thought I'd see the day.
My only concern is, if a bubba cries them selves to sleep, when they wake in the night are they going to self soothe, or wake up in a hissy fit?

What do you all think of her sleep pattern? What is best plan of attack.

Please don't feel you have to read or comment. I've come to the conclusion that other peoples sleep issues might be just as potentially 'tedious as their problems and their dreams' [qoute from Adrian Mole ] Don't want to harp on.

AND it isn't so long ago we took 2 hours to get her to sleep, only to have her wake every 2 hours all night long. We are down to 1-2 night wakes [I count the night as 11pm to 7am] so we are on the mend I think.

Horrid text Dog!! Don't blame you at all. Be someone who is drunk and unable to text.

Ah Moose, I forgot you don't use the car, and so couldn't see how it worked. Makes sense if you are pushing. Maybe that is the answer to the ankle, the walks today?

Rofl at Chefswife.

Well if she always woke really early at the same time everyday, I'd try "wake to sleep" to get her to stretch out longer.

It's at this point I'd reach for my favourite book as it's my answer to everything with my 2 DCs. I think she's so overtired she's permanently wired, it can affect their sleep overnight as well if really overtired.

Keep plugging on with it, keep being consistent she'll get there. I think if it was me too, I'd probably move to cry it out by now

I'm sure a kinder lovelier fellow on our thread will come along in a moment Tree with some thoughtful advice, unlike me

But sending you a huge huge ((hug)) as this must be very difficult and upsetting in so many ways, when it's happening everyday. I'd actually get to the point I'd feel worried sick about whether tonight would be ok or awful but I am a worrier

X posted with Books.

I gave up as they were all too expensive. Want to help me?

Your advice is thoughtfull tea, and hugely appreciated. As is any thing or anyone who shows understanding on this. feel very alone with it sometimes. Although surrounded by help, no one seems to get it or take any intiative. It will be down to me.

She's up. Has been in a light sleep for 10 mins and is now awake but floppy.

Hi Books.

CAn't believe price of holidays this year

tree i'm sorry it's still so tough with h, but at least it sounds like it has improved a bit: i really hope what you're doing now helps. we have a copy of healthy sleep habits healthy child (or whatever it is): if you think it would be any use to you, i'll stick it in the post.

c is a crap daytime sleeper - 40 mins is average, we've gathered that if we miss a two minute window at exactly midday, it's all going to go pear shaped. she's wrecked at the moment, dark shadows under her eyes, sleeps from about seven thirty to seven thirty at night, but it's obviously insufficent right now. heat? teeth? walking? developmental leap? who knows... (she has grown an inch in the last month, maybe that's it)

chef [guffaw]

120 - [retching emoticon]

dog, sure texter will be morto, as they say in dublin, in the morning

Hellooooo stripey.

She's sat in bed next to me, scowling at me. I tell her to lie down, so she headbutts the bed, then shuffles about a bit...then up she pops.

I also have a sore hop [bursitis] and am, I think, in a fowl mood. I don't want to go to work tbh, and am genrally a bit underpar.

Hey ho.

In morto, haven't heard that in years!

ah tree, she does sound lovely though, however much more lovely she would be if she were asleep... we had c up till nine tonight, had her watch east enders while we ate dinner, till all the shouting freaked her out - hadn't awtched eastenders for years, forgot about all of the aggression. turned it over to some lottery game, cue shrieks of 'balls, balls, balls'. then she had at dp's dinner, and finally went to bed.
sorry about bursitis (not sure what it is, but doesn't sound nice) and work. hope it's okay when you get there.

She is dinky. She makes me smile and laugh out loud. And these days that takes some!

Have given her to dh and run away.

C sounds fab, love the idea of shouting balls. Ace.

Bursitis is itis of the bursa, who even knew we had one? Bit of a hip, and it hurts. Apparently it's either down to exercise, or lack of core strength. I'll leave you to contemplate which is most likely Tis achey season on the thread!

So, DD's word most definitely pertains to the food she is pointing at and wanting to eat it. Bai-dee. Go figure. Wonder where it came from.

DH and DD are passed out on the couch after dinner. I hope this doesn't mess up bedtime... whom I kidding.

Bookmarking

Morning Chef.

Ds1 had his own language at this age. He used to get his little shopping bag and go to the shops for "Gobby de gobby and billa balla"! He also called the washing machine (with which he was completely obsessed) the 'wat ni ni' and the vacuum (another obsession) the 'vac ni ni'. The telephone was 'dor dor' and the stereo 'dor dor dor'. Wouldn't have been strange, except for the fact that he talked really early and could actually say all the right names for things, but preferred his own versions.

He was totally obsessed with the Argos catalogue at about the age of two, not the toy sections - but the washing machines, vacuums, telephones and stereos - and would sit there for hours looking at them and saying his own words for them over and over. He would also get really cross/upset if we took the catalogue off him. We didn't know this wasn't normal with him being our pfb, we thought it was really cute - turns out it was most likely an early sign of his ASD. Still, he was a really confident, relaxed and happy baby/toddler and that's what's important. Its only since he's been at school that he has become stressed and unhappy.

Gobi de gobi and billa balla stuck with him until he was about 4, but the others faded away. It was really cute and we have it on a casette tape somewhere, recorded on Mum's dictaphone.

Oh sorry, Leonard - how did I not see your post?

Good morning to you too of course.

Morning Moose - dd1 loved the argos catalogue. What was is she like...maybe lawnmowers. Or maybe she was scared of those, and liked looking at anything else with wheels. Can't remember now

I tried to keep H up, she woke up at 7 in a foul mood. Wouldn't let dd1 near me and just wanted to cuddle up and go back to sleep. She did a big poo, climbed on my knee at 10, stuck a hand down each bra cup and doozed off!

She's conked out on me now.

Hello Leonard.

Parents eve tonight. Awww. So cute at this age. Dd1 is exceedign expectations in all areas apparently, but tbh I bet they all aare as I think expectatons in foundation are mainly to not wet yourself and remember where you left your cardi Stll looking forward to seeing her files and folders and her little projects.

DS and my nephew have their own conversations, they look so serious as they yell at each other about something or other. I do wonder what they understand, they spend so much time together it might just be the pitch and body language that they use. DD definitely understands DS better than I do. She will tell me things he wants much faster than I can decipher them. It is odd though as I remember being so in tune with DD at this age where as DS communicates with everyone. He is far more sociable than she was, but oh my word is he stroppy. Full on tantrums happening now. I am not enjoying it.

Stripey - DS also grew an inch last month, he went all lanky. I'm blaming too much sunshine!

Tree - I am no expert, both of mine have just fallen into good routines at around 15 months or so. But with DD we were still feeding her 3 hourly at that age so we saw a sleep expert for help as hv would only suggest cc which I wasn't up for at the time. Sleep person gave me two bits of advice (among much rubbish stuff) which have stuck. First (I must have said this before) if you want something to change you have to change something. And second sleep is always best tackled during the day. She was basically saying that it is best to start with self settling for naps and organising your day well so that night time sleep training is less stressful. Her philosophy was that you should sleep train with the least stressful method that works with cc saved for if nothing else could help eg pupd or gradual withdrawal. There was a price to pay either way though, she recommended the softer approach as she felt the long term results were better but she said it wasn't uncommon for it to take weeks to have an effect. Cc works quicker, perhaps a week, but you have to be prepared to do it again later on as often they will want to test the waters. In the end we just put DD in her own bed and threw out her bottles and problem was fixed so I never sleep trained.

Sounds like you and H def need something that will work quickly as I don't think she sounds like thekind of character who will go for other ways. I would seek out the sleep topic though, their threads are often circular but some of the info on how to do the actual sleep training is great.

Morning Tree

Ds liked the Argos catalogue to an extreme though Tree, you couldn't wrestle it away from him, he would literally sit there for hours unless you took it away and dealt with the inevitable melt-down. We mostly decided it wasn't doing him any harm so to leave him to it, as long as it wasn't all he did all day.

Just been reading the 'saving for your dc's to go to uni' thread and am now feeling very glum indeed.

We just don't have the spare cash to save, but then I find myself wondering if I should just buy them less now (cheaper clothes etc) and try to save to give them a better future. No chance of raising 30 grand plus per child though, so what's the point?

Its such a quandry. We are due to inherit half of this house fully the year after ds1 would (potentially) finsh uni (thanks for that one Dad ) and will then need to either move to a cheaper area or stump up half the value to my sister, leaving us in huge debt again at the age of 50+.

It was always my intention to save the child benefit and I did until ds2 came along, but now its needed as part of our monthly income. They do have a couple of hundred pounds a year each put into their child trust funds by dh's lovely aunt (well ds1 doesn't have one because they started it just after he was born, but he has national savings bonds instead) bu that isn't going to even scratch the surface.

Not sure ds2 will want to go to uni - he might, it will be to do music studies or art or something similar if he does, but ds1 has already made up his mind he wants to go and study computers and dd is bright as a button so I wouldn't want her not to have the opportunity if she does want to go, iyswim.

And don't even get me started on pensions .....

I hate money - it truly is the root of all evil - well that and politicians!