Fab Feb 2009: when they're good they are very very good, when they're bad they're todzillas...

[dinkystinky]

New thread for us to chat about our little jekyll & hydes...

Danny is currently stood next to me rearranging my DVD collection - I will be doing a work out to charlie & lola tonight apparently, while DS1 will be watching Billy Blanks Taebo with his pre-bedtime cup of milk and DH's history docu is hiding out with Diego in the city of lost toys...

Well, as the thread seems to be in a bit of a revival I thought it would be rude not to post...

A (the enormous baby) is now A the enormous toddler. No tantrums that are unspeakably awful and generally a very easy going boy. No doubt I will be eating these words shortly. He decided walking would be a good thing to do at the end of July (at last) and now of course that's not good enough and he loves getting me into a game of chase.

I'm finding my way through the juggle of work and really all is fine...just super busy.

Chutney is good. I may have added slightly more than a 'hint' of chilli though...

I have been very lucky so far with work. I still occasionally make sandwiches for the little catering business my ex-next-door neighbour runs and she has her 3yr old at home so I can take DS with me.

And the Support Agency I used to be full time with before F have been desperate very welcoming and I have a relief contract with them whereby I can work whenever DH is at home. Works really well as DH works shifts and can have 8 days off between shifts which means I can get some hours in. I have also got my work laptop back and they keep giving me piles of work to do at home which I normally do when the DC's are in bed.

I am very thankful for this as it means I can still faff around at home making chutney to amuse myself and not pay for any childcare but like you THOM I keep thinking about what I will do when F goes to school....

Hi Pluto - nice to see you on and good to hear that big Al is still, well, big Al. Danny loves chase too - we pretend we're a family of hedgehogs and have to chase mummy, daddy, big brother (DS1) or baby hedgehog (Danny) - its the boys favourite game!

Glad the chutney is good MS and work is working out ok.

A just asked for his dummy by calling it NaNa ... bizarrely all three of mine have used that sound to mean dummy despite the fact that none of them heard their older siblings doing it. THOM, MrT's speech sounds fabulous, my elder two were great talkers too and it's lovely having proper little conversations with tiny children isn't it?

Glad the chutney went well MS, spicey sounds nice tbh, bet it'll go down a storm

Hi Pluto!

Yeah, his speech is really good, just like DS1's was. It is lovely to have a chat and it also makes life a lot easier!

It's interesting you should say that about the dummy SR. When DS1 was little he used to call a spoon "boose". When DS2 first started talking, he said exactly the same thing which I think is really odd, but was lovely as I thought I'd never hear it again. Sadly, DS2 can already say ambulance; I used to love it when DS1 used to call them "andylumpses" and hoped for a re-run of that too!

Hi everyone,

I'm joining the thread revival because I have QUESTIONS. Might as well give my name a reason for being huh?

I've been interested to read about people's experiences of tantrumming toddlers. DS is definitely becoming, well, strongwilled. The thing is, I am definitely more of a disciplinarian than DH and seem to be the one telling him no or making him stop doing something or taking things off him. DH will do it, but definitely not as much. As a result, DS is in a phase of being downright mean to me. He pushes me away, puts his arms out to DH or generally just asks for Daddy. I can't help but find it hurtful. I don't think it's helped by the fact that it's always me who leaves him with the childminder just because of the way DH's shifts work so not only am I the disciplinarian but I'm the one who leaves him with her regularly. So Daddy just comes out better. I have to try not to let it bother me, but it does!

Am wondering if other people are still letting their DC's have their milk from a bottle? DS definitely still wants his morning and evening milk, and it's still a part of our routine to give it to him in a bottle. A fairly opinionated friend of mine said the other day (before she'd worked out that we were still using bottles) that children the age of ours most definitely should not still be using bottles. Should I be trying to get rid of it? He drinks water and juice throughout the day from a cup and is more than able to use one but should the milk be going in one too?

Also wondering if anyone's got their DC into a bed as opposed to a cot? We've got a cotbed but have still got the sides on it at the moment. The thing is that DS is pretty tall for his age and is starting to get a bit cramped in a travel cot, meaning when we go to visit people he'll need to start sleeping in a bed. The sensible thing would be to start him off at home in his own bed (I'll buy a bed guard) but is he too young? Are there any problems I should expect?

I got some news that made me squirm with embarrassment in the docs the other day. I had a coil fitted a couple of months ago and had some problems a few weeks later. Things just didn't feel quite right down there and then I examined myself I could feel what seemed to be a lump. Went to the docs, turns out I've got a small prolapse. I was really embarrassed, I thought that only happened to sheep!! I've now been referred to physio to get my pelvic floor muscles strengthen. So, all those people who kept banging on at me to do my pelvic floor exercises were right after all!!

Hi QK!

F still has a bottle of milk first thing in the morning and last thing at night. He too has juice and water through the day from a cup but his bedtime routine is a bottle and story in bed and he is a really good sleeper so I am loathed to change it at the moment.

I have tried to give him milk in a cup but he tastes it, looks puzzled and just hands it back. I am not letting it bother me at the moment.

F is still in a cotbed too but has a duvet and a pillow now - have put a vest under his pyjamas tonight for the first time in AGES as it feels a bit chilly....

Hello my lovely ladies
Will be back after EE to catch up

Hey MS! Send some chutney down my way will you? I love a chutney and cheese sandwich, yum. I made a banana loaf the other day and thought of you actually, you would've been proud, it was spectacular. I had to cut it in half and send half in with DH to work otherwise I would've eaten the lot.

Good to hear that F is still having a bottle. Alex is the same in terms of sleep i.e. very good at it, so I didn't want to change anything about his routine if I don't have to. Plus the morning bottle is really handy for me when it's a work morning as he drinks his bottle while I carry on running around like a headless chicken trying to get ready - it buys me some time basically.

Also encouraged to hear that we could switch from a sleeping bag to a duvet, I think that'd be a good first step towards taking the sides off the cot. I'd actually rather not do it as obviously it means he can get out of bed so we won't get that time at the weekends where we let him amuse himself in his cot for a while, while we doze. But on the other hand, don't want his first night in a bed to be when we're staying somewhere else.

It's chilly here too. I quite like it, I'm ready for autumn, bring it on I say!

Hi QK. can't help on the bottle front as Mr T is still BF though he does also have cow's milk in a cup but I guess that's different.

Mr T sleeps in our high kingsize bed with a guard on it and has done since day one. The only problem I imagine you might encounter is if your DS realises he can get out by himself...

On the discipline front I think the real problem is the gap between you and your DH. Can you find a way forward which you both agree on so you can present a united front? It will be confusing for your son to have different rules with you both and as he gets older he'll be able to play you off against each other. As a second-timer I would say that of course some things are non-negotiable (holding hands crossing roads, staying away from really dangerous stuff and not hitting etc) but in other things you really need to pick your battles and ignore or distract as much as possible. At this age that are uber-curious about everything (and, let's face it strong-willed is better that a child who is meek and uninterested) and constantly saying "no" will drive you both mad.

MS The pooing naked post? Especially the part where dp text me to ask if I was naked whilst I was in a public bathroom? lol
Christmas sounds like it will be manic! Good luck with the food stuff, but I know it'll all be perfect.

Thom so good to see you on! Glad all is well with Mr T, he does sound very cute.
Sorry you guys are having money trouble too, not nice is it?
We'll all survive though, beans on toast for a month here though

Pluto Good to see you too. Glad all is well with you and yours

QK Tantrums are very difficult to deal with, and each child may respond better to different approaches so I always find it tricky to give helpful advice.
But, take comfort in the knowledge that all the fab feb babies (well, most of them) are in the tantrum stage, so you are not alone.
Luke came off bottles a while ago. I wouldn't worry too much about it all, it's not the biggest issue, but if you want to try to replace the bottles, have a look in boots at the trainer cups. They have soft teats like a bottle but are more square shaped. These went down well with both mine.
We are planning to move Luke into the proper bed in a few weeks. We have bunk-beds now. My only concern is that Luke is a fidgety sleeper, but suppose he'll learn when he keeps falling out, just as ds1 did

I had my first day at the school today. I really enjoyed it!
9 children and 5 adults in the class. It is a behavioural class, so you have to be on the ball constantly.

cough cough am I aloud back????

My goodness, there's a veritable reunion going on now. Nice to see you QK and sorry to hear about A's tantrums (v common), the mummy guilt (we all have it! DS1 went through a stage of only wanting daddy too - is heartbreaking but is not personal - its just they see less of their dad generally so they have novelty value) and general business. Re bottles - Danny still mix bf (though is down to just before bedtime now) and 1 or 2 bottles a day. Dont see any real rush to get him onto just cups (he can drink from them though prefers spitting the fluid from a cup out all over him) - do it when it feels right for you and A. Also re cot/bed query - DS1 didnt move into a bed until he was 2 and a half (and that was to get him used to his bed before Danny arrived) - do it when it feels right for you and you think A can understand about night time being time to be in his bed and only to get up at mornings. Agree wholeheartedly with THOM on her thoughts on you and DH and disciplining.

SilveryMoon - glad your first day went so well! Good luck for DP for today. Let us know the outcome.

Hmmm, the problem my DH and I have with discipline is that as far as he's concerned we are doing the whole united front thing. He goes on about how important that is, and I agree, but then he just doesn't seem to do as much telling off as I do. He is much better at ignoring things than I am.

Funnily enough I ended up getting really upset last night as DH and DS were having some quiet time on our bed before DS's bath and when I joined them on the bed DS started whinging and moaning and pushing me out of the bed! I was devastated! That will change this weekend as DH is working all weekend so he's got no one but mummy. Little b*gger darling.

I've found your responses so far really helpful, and I'm actually starting to think that maybe I need to chill out a bit?! I think I might need to start using more of the distraction and ignoring bad behavour techniques rather than jumping on every little bit of naughtiness and trying to tell DS off. On the whole he's a really good and fairly chilled out little boy, and I think my problem is that I'm so keen for him to be a nice child rather than a tearaway that I'm probably being too hard on him.

Also glad to hear that lots of people are still using bottles, I don't think we're ready to give them up quite yet in the QK household.

QK - what does your DH do when DS is like that? If he shows you love and affection infront of DS when he's like that, I bet DS will give you hugs and kisses too. That's what my DH did when DS1 was in that phase. And its still a phase - when A is poorly he will only really want you.

I think you need to have a chat with DH about how being bad cop all the time is getting to you and sometimes he'll have to be the disciplinarian. Have to admit I'm the more strict out of DH and me and we've had to have that chat several times - with DH having to remind me to chill out and me explaining I will do if he does more of the "no dont do that". I know I need to chill more (my mum was v strict disciplinarian and dont want to be like that with my boys) so is good that DH and I have different approaches. I'd suggest to really only focus on the biggies and let DS explore his world around him - as long as is not dangerous or harming/bothering any one he's fine.

Hello all

QK I have to agree that tantrums are normal. DS went through a stage where they were really bad... I am pleased to say they are few and far between now BUT DD (3.5) has just stared and boy oh boy they are bad!!! bet that has cheared you up no end hasn't it lol

We dont have bottles but not through choice. DS hasn't had any milk since I stopped bf him at 14 months... His eating is a bit hit and miss as well so a bit of a worry.. He will eat everything we give him for a week but then the following two weeks he wont eat hardly at all (few spoonfuls of breakfast and then fruit and then few spoonfulls of dinner and thats it). I went to dr about it but he isn't concerned and said if worried get vit drops. But I am more worried about iron and calcium than anything else. So i bought some toddler milk in a bottle the other day. Put a straw throught the foil top and gave it to DS and he drank half of it (and it was a large bottle) so am hoping that is the way forward.... So formula through a starw is how we are going to do it, which if anyone saw us would think is a lot worse than bottles. I just hope i havent jinxed it all now by saying it out loud..

Hope you are all well.. All good here. Work going really well and am loving DD's cheaky character at the moment and DS is just adorable (most of the time )although a bit of a handful... all in all life is good xx

Good idea to get DH to give me a cuddle when A is pushing me away. I have pretended to cry a little bit when stuff has happened before and last time I did it he came up and cuddled me and patted me on the back! So sweet.

haven't been on for a while, i come back and have got loads to catch up on plus lots of returning fab febbers. can't wait to read what i've missed.

just wanted to say DINKY you went and got answered by deputy pm! were you satisfied with your answer?

Oh yes was also going to ask if anyone else seems to have given birth to a super freaky strong baby? DS literally yanked the fridge door of yesterday.. I heard him say juice and then heard the fridge door open then a loud crash went into the kitchen and he is walking around with the fridge door in his hand and there is milk, calpol etc all over the floor... It wasn't faulty he just yanked it off....

Welcome back KBN. Felt sorry for Nick Clegg by the end of that thread - must have been quite uncomfortable sitting in MN Towers reading all the bile and anger on there - though thought his response to my question was v much a stock response. All v well having targets but what will they do on the ground to make sure that the money goes where its meant to?

Bumps - wow DS is strong! Danny is freakishly strong too but has yet to dismantle any white goods - he has managed to take apart a coffee table though...

Hello

I have been at work today. Manager of one of the teams has asked me to come and support work for them, like a proper job, got to weigh up the pros and cons now!

Very flattered though....

Got home and DH had proudly made toad in the hole, and it was nice. I was very impressed!

Bumps- do you keep your calpol in the fridge too? I only ask because I noticed my friend does it too and I didn't know it was supposed to be refrigerated, does every do it? Should I do it?!

By the way, you do realise this thread reunion probably means one of us is bound to go and get pregnant now.....

I dont bother Markstretch - we get calpol at a rate of knots here anyway so not point refrigerating... You do know Pempe is due in December I think?

Not me MS!

You're supposed to keep calpol in the fridge? Really? Never heard that. It doesn't say that on the box does it? I keeps ab's in the fridge if directed to do so, but nothing else. Still seems to work.