March 2010- Group Therapy on the cheap

[ValiumtheConqueror]

And cupcakes

Never mind poo MElk, laughing so hard at Dalrymps stroganoff baby has had a terrible effect on my pelvic floor
[dashes off to find Tena lady ]

PS Can the nest thread title have something to do with stroganoff?

PPS worryingly i didn't notice the oddity of stroganoff until the others mentioned it. It made sense somehow. I think it might be time to go to bed................

I'm glad my stroganoff baby has cheered you all up! We need something to laugh about with all these sleepless nights etc.

Mummyelk lol at the poo!! Glad you channel the inner alchie sometimes too! My DH is going away for a week at the end of July - am fairly nervous about it.

Flip and siamese superhans obviously has a major derinking problem haha.

Flip I must be your (evil) twin. I too am heading back to Cork in August. Flying this time.

dairy I thought stroganoff was some kind of parenting term I hadn't come across! Like some kind of weird poo or something (Mummyelk would probably be able to help there).
On that note DD poos about a million times a day...anyone else in that (pooey) boat? Thankfully the Bumgenius nappies are great and there really isn't a big stink. used some disposables on the road trip to Ireland and they STINK!!! AND they leaked.

Was all excited re Rebecca til she did the test.!!

I've been getting very sad at the thought of returning to work (not until next year but still...). 'm the main earner at the moment, but DH's business isn't doing too bad and I'm sure things will improve. Brighton is so expensive though. Desperately trying to think of ways to avoid going back to work, including getting preggers again fast! I But not even sure I want another kid!! I am 37 though...

What do ye all think about ideal age gaps? Would, say, a 15 or 16 month age gap be totally unmanageable? In an ideal world I'd love a 3-4 year gap.

Agree that this is a lovely lovely age. DD babbles constantly, smiles, tries to crawl, feet in mouth, huge belly laughs - like a "proper" baby IYKWIM. She does this really cute thing of waiting in anticpation for me to tickle her and blow raspberries on her belly. Sometimes she laughs even before I've touched her - obviously just looking for any excuse to have a laugh. So cute.

Don'ttry. 15 month age gap EXCELLENT! That's what there is between me and my brother (the newly beparented one) and it's fab! (As a parent of course you'd have to be barking...) Do it!

And Rebecca I ALWAYS feel flutterings for a 6 month stint after birth - weird isn't it!

Arcadie I meant how would it be for me Fairly grim d'ya think?? Do you think it would avoid the sibling rivalry for the young uns though (as sooo close in age there might not be as much jealousy by the first one).

Congrats by the way of the aunty status.

Oh iwcas I know hat desperate feeling where you feel like the only person in the world awake. I'm sure this will get better soon. Try jot to fret about going places, I know t's annoying when you don't manage to go anywhere but your sleep is mrs important right now and you'll get out and about more down the line. Does he have to be rocked to sleep or swaddled? Miles tends to fight sleep more than ds1 used to and we've spent many hours rocking and bouncing and shhing. He is getting better at settling but we mostly wait till he's fed and fallen asleep at bed time then transfer him to the crib. He has to sleep next to me on the bed for daytime naps too as he just wakes when I try to transfer him then but only in the day, what's that about?! Is there anyone who can watch him whilst you catch up on some sleep? I manage the nights (which aren't that bad- between 1and 3 wakes at the moment and sometimes a few extra stirs for farts) by making sure I nap with him most days when're I feel tired or not just to stock up.
You'll look bs k in this one day as a distant memory, honest!

sending you big sympathetic hugs and caffeine-laced brownies IWCAS. It's not easy when they don't sleep. I second Dalrymps- drop everything and sleep when he sleeps. And keep repeating the MMMM Mantra- TTSP. xxxxxxxx

IWCAS sorry to hear about another bad night

What happens if you put him down when he is sleepy but not sleeping? Does he cry for more than 10 mins? It took some bravery but I do put Charlotte down awake now and she does grumble or cry for up to 5 mins and its reducing all the time. I do go to her if it doesnt sound like 'normal' sleepy grumbles.

Also Charlotte is full of beans at 5.30 and if her room was lighter Im sure she wouldnt re-settle after a feed. What does Ramsey do if you just feed him and put him back down at 2am? I have found 'the no cry sleep solution' very useful for guidance about this stuff, although we are far from sleeping through (never have - went 5 hours once) or from sorting out my own sleep ishoos now - like you I cant sleep after a feed if I know that DH's alarm is going to go off in an hour anyway, or Im concerned I have to go and resettle her again..

I cant for the life of me find the link to the article I was reading that said 14 to 18 week olds have sleep probs because of development.. Ill keep hunting..

Oh poor IWCAS. DD is waking more too and she is not a good daytime sleeper at all but that sounds very tough. Everyone I talk to though seems to have some sleep issues with 4 month old so sure it will pass.

Well we stopped swaddling a while ago and since then we've gone from one wake a night to between 2 and 5 although 2 - 3 on average. I thought it was cause he's not swaddled any more (there was no point any more cause he kept fighting his way out of it!) but maybe it's a 4 month thing.

Miles has always been a little chunkier than ds1 Dylan so far which has been reassuring for me as Dylan had weight gain issues. Anyway, don't know if I'm imagining it but he looks longer and thinner lately and I'm worrying wondering if he's going the same way. I know he'll be OK if he does but could do without all the hcp's breathing down my neck like last time and all the extra paediatric and dietician apps.

He's 15 and a half weeks now but not had him weighed since 6 weeks on purpose cause I'll get obsessedwih it. The hv is coming tomorrow and I'm a bitgetting anxious about getting him weighed eek!

iwcas Thoughts and sleep vibes sent your way. There seems to be something about this 4mth lark - if it's any consolation DS who has been sleeping through for weeks has started to wake at 5.55 - Thats hard enough so can't imagine how you are managing so well - I'd be a lost cause!!!

Sitting on the edge of my seat today thinking of my many many colleagues who are out looking for this knacker despite his chilling threats to harm them. Really hoping they stay safe. Braver than me - really quite glad that I'm home and safe but wishing in a mad way I was there to support them. Going to any job over the last few days has had them holding their breath every time they arrive on scene at any job across the whole area - never knowing if he could be there to fulfil his threat. Scary stuff. So out of character for the little pretty sleepy village where it now seems he may be.

and coffee from me, too, IWCAS. My DD has done the wide awake in the middle of the night thing a few times; DS did it loads - but stopped doing so ages and ages agoso it does pass. Really honestly and truly it does.

I agree that the only way of getting through it is to drop everything and sleep whenever you can. I know it's a PITA that it impinges on your going out (I hated it too) but you'll enjoy it more when you are reasonably well rested.

I lost it on the sleep front last night. We've had a few nights of DD refusing to go down til almost midnight, waking for a feed at 2ish and then up for the day by 5. She's then been ready for a nap just as DS wakened. I know it's the confused emoticon but, really, I've been like this .

Last night, when she still wouldn't sleep four hours after I first started, I flounced down to the living room, turned on all the lights and put her on the playmat while I sulked on the sofa. A mature and considered reaction, hey? Luckily for me, DH (who is still recovering from manflu) felt well enough to walk her round until, finally, she could fight sleep no longer.

I hope it is the 4 month sleep regression and will just magically disappear really soon. Really soon. Please God.

Re age gaps: there are a few days short of 2 years between my two, donttry - and I have to say I think that's the minimum I could cope with. (Although, really, that's a ridiculous thing to say as you just cope with what you get...) OK, so I still have 2 in nappies but DS can walk, including stairs, feed himself, tell me why he's crying, amuse himself for a short while and even help with basic housework e.g. use the dustpan and brush and load the washing machine (very useful while I was heavily pg, that was).

Uh oh feed time.

Ooh pixie! VERY exciting

Pixie Snap. [grrr] [grrr]

Pixie although I've worked out that for YOU that's good news!

iwcas big hugs and i'll send you a fbk message later - as ever,i think you area fab mum and doing a great job, massive sympathy though (Elk was a terrible sleeper and looking back i'm not sure how i coped on such small amounts of sleep)
scooby haven't seen news tonight but i also hope they catch him - poor you knowing people in the midst of it - awful awful and jeez, two madmen in, what, as many months?!!! terrible
pixie right, well we know what you'll be doing in, er, 14 days then...?!!!

I started spotting last week but I think it's implant related and not a 'proper' period. I wasn't expecting anything for months yet going on past experience.
good for you pixie and grrrr for you arcadie I'm in the grrr camp !

Can I just ask if any of you have ever taken a mark warner holiday and, if so, opinions? Thinking of sodding off for a week in about three weeks...

Stroganoff baby is the best typo I've seen in a while, though I was also at Manda thinking brooch was a regional word for broody

Pixie yay for the return of your period but Arcadie [grr] on your behalf.

Scooby how scary for your colleagues - that guy sounds like a nutter. I feel so sad for his kids and his family (and his ex partner and the families of his victims). I hope he's caught before he can cause anymore death or injury...

IWCAS sorry that R is still being so wakeful. I have the same problem with me not falling back to sleep after night feeds - perhaps a relaxation track playing on a loop? I found that quite good when I went through a really bad batch some weeks back (I used the relaxation bit of my hypnobirthing stuff). Really hope you both get a better night soon (and plenty of naps in the meantime).

Donttry there's less than a year between me and my sister (4 days under a year) and absolutely no rivalry/jealousy as she was always there iykwim. Pacific is the one to ask though as her DS1 and 2 are about a year apart. Know what you mean about dreading going back to work...dreading is perhaps too strong a word but I'm already not looking forward to it and I'm not going back til March next year! And also know what you mean about proper baby - I love all the rocking and foot holding and belly laughs and grabbing for things and wriggling around on the floor/in the bath...it makes for a much interesting and fun day

Rebecca glad you tested, but I was so excited for you that I'm a little disappointed...which is of course very strange of me!

So I've been conducting some sleep experiments of my own this week. I've been feeding DS to sleep at night for weeks and for some naps during the day (when we're not out and about) and using the sling more than I should and his sleeping has been rubbish - I know there's the 4 month sleep regression but I feel like his sleep has been rubbish for a lot longer iykwim. DH thinks I hark back to a golden era that didn't exist (which I may well be) but he's nearly 4 months (16 weeks today) and it's time for a change. The hot weather has put me off the sling a bit (too sweaty) so I came back from Ireland wanting to see if I could do anything about it. I've now set up a proper routine (was all a bit hit or miss up to now) of bath/pjs/feed/story/down in cot awake. Either myself or my DH are staying with him until he's asleep, with the plan to leave him awake once he's used to getting himself off to sleep. Sunday night - 50 mins of cuddles, hand-holding, the odd bit of patting, with a fair bit of crying/grizzling before he slept. Monday night just over half an hour of the same until he slept. Tonight 10 mins of mostly silence, with the odd bit of grizzling before he was blissfully asleep again. To same I'm in shock is an understatement!

I've done the same for some of his daytime naps (I also use white noise during the day but not at night) and have had 2 days of 2 hour naps in the middle-ish of the day (today, the day started before 5am so the nap was 9.10 til 11.10, with his first nap from 6.45 to 7.45 ish). He's never slept for longer than 45 min to an hour before except for the odd time in the sling. Having said that, I did feed him to (almost) asleep this afternoon as he was properly crying and needed comfort. I'm also napping with him during the afternoon as the 3 plus night feeds and early starts have me knackered!

Course now that I've written it down I bet tomorrow night he won't settle!